Introverts

If you’re always bored in crowds and excited alone, you’re an introvert. If you spend weekend after weekend alone, you’re introverted. If you hardly visit anyone and you never allow others to visit you, the introvert gene is in your blood. Introverts hate small talk. They’re attracted by serious business. But it is in small talks and jokes that we live healthy. You don’t have to analyze every talk, when will you live?

I know a lady who has never known a man, 100% honest money matters and totally committed to God and her job. But as the clock continues to tick, she’s increasingly frustrated with singleness. And I’ve met men who take eternity to settle down and despite being fully committed in their place of work, less hardworking noisemakers get promoted. Introverts tend to be indecisive and suspicious with people.

Being careful with your life is a great virtue but none of us gets out of this place alive. I’d rather risk being hurt by a life partner rather than play safe alone through this world’s troubled waters. I’d rather make a mistake in launching a business hastily rather than live in regret of untested dreams. I’d rather buy a house that I can afford now and sell it later for more affluent neighborhoods than keep fearing a bank loan.

With all the hasty blunders extroverts make, at least they live. Prolonged indecision is a decision. I better be a hot mess in action than a perfectly organized coward. People who stay in the middle of the road get run over. You may be one decision away from a brand-new life. Step up your faith and step out by faith. A double-minded man receives nothing from God (James 1:7).

You don’t have to make life decisions hastily. But there are some decisions you can make right now. You can schedule to meet your friends at least once a week. You can join a hiking squad. You can decide to be accountable to someone. Ask them to tell you genuinely how you interacted in the company party. For instance, “Were you withdrawn?” Because introverts often don’t know when they’re pulled back.

But remember as you seek advice from others, they won’t deal with the results of your decisions. Be sure you share values with your accountability partner. Pick an extrovert as your accountability partner to neutralize your introversions. If you’re two introverts, you won’t help each other out of your withdrawn nature. Introverts view others as energy vampires. They only treasure close relationships they have stretched to their limit to build. 

Learn to relax in the presence of people. Loneliness limits imagination. Isolation breeds depression. Don’t confuse loneliness with quiet time. Live in moderation. You know you’re not lonely when you’re vulnerable to two to three friends. Stop killing yourself in isolation. You were wired for relationships. Connections give life meaning. In your self-interest, break the barriers between you and the world.

DR. K. N. JACOB