Introverts Don't Make Great Leaders - Wrong!

When I share about my focus on elevating introverted leadership, it's disheartening to hear things like, "Isn't that an oxymoron, ha ha?" or "Introverts don't speak up enough to be strong leaders.".

Of course there are leaders who are introverted who aren't great leaders, just as there are extroverts who aren't great leaders. But to disregard a whole talented group of people because of a lack of understanding of what our strengths and needs are, is not inclusive, and it isn't smart!

Introverted leaders are often awesome at building inclusion in our teams and in our organizations because of our insights, creativity and critical thinking, the essential leadership skills for the 21st century. This is because of our ability to reflect deeply, think strategically, engage in creative solutioning, and be in tune with what's going on for our people.

So why are introverts so often overlooked for leadership positions and promotions to senior levels?

Let’s dive in!

What Is Introversion?

First, let’s get really clear on what introversion is … and what it isn’t.

As a deep introvert, I have the most amazing inner life ... and as I've looked back into my past and my childhood over the last 25 years of exploring what makes me, me, that has always been the case. I can spend hours, if not days, diving into the depths and soaring up into the heights of my creative thinking - looking at everything, researching from every angle, and pondering endless 'What if?' questions.

This capability can be partly explained by research that shows introverted types have more blood flow to our frontal lobes where we engage in mentally playing with ideas, taking the time to think before acting, meeting novel and unanticipated challenges, resisting temptations, and staying focused. For me, not only does this provide me with the space for critical thinking and coming up with robust creative solutions, it's how I process information. When I'm presented with ideas, data, and opinions, I need to take these into my inner world so that I can think critically about them, and work out how I feel about them. My emotions and intuitions are essential datapoints in my own assessment of the issue, challenge or idea at hand.

This process of going within and exploring my thoughts, feelings, intuitions, ideas, and questions, also fills me up. It's where I get my energy from, how I recharge the internal battery that provides me with the strength and fuel to be active in the world, and to thrive.

Extroverts on the other hand process information verbally and fill up their batteries by being with people. My dear, late friend and colleague Connie was an extrovert. She always needed to talk through ideas and program design, and process her feelings by discussing them. When we had spent the day facilitating leadership sessions, she would want to go out and talk about the day, whereas I wanted to go home and have a quiet night in to reflect. Extroverts need to bounce new ideas around, and talk through datapoints with others to make sense of them, before they land on their decisions or perspectives. They also like to move into action and make things happen, often understanding a problem better when they can talk about it out loud and hear what others have to say.

Again, this can be understood through studies that show that extroverts have more active dopamine systems than introverts. They form stronger memories associated with the rewards they get from social engagement, risk taking, and achieving goals. They have a higher level of alertness and readiness in response to stimuli, and are excited when they’re around people, as well as liking to energize other people. Extroverts refill their cups by being with others - this process replenishes their inner batteries that enable them to thrive.

There’s no right or wrong, it’s just different - we each have our strengths. Not only does the introvert vs extrovert discussion highlight another beautiful aspect of diversity, valuing both is essential for team and business success.

What Introversion Is Not

Introversion is not a personality flaw!

Being introverted is not about being too quiet, or being shy, or being anti-social. Extroverts can be all these things, and introverts can speak up, be confident, and be socially comfortable.

Let's take a look at three common myths about introversion.

Myth No. 1: “You’re too quiet”. Well, as we’ve explored, we don’t process verbally, and we find it unnecessary to talk unless we have something new to say. We can process in the moment which means we’ll be exploring our thoughts and feelings as we’re engaging in a discussion, but we won’t share that out loud until we’ve thought it through, felt the resonance, and landed on what’s important or true for us. And we often don't get there in the first meeting or discussion. We usually need to go away, reflect, check our thinking or ideas with a couple of trusted colleagues, and then circle back.

Myth No. 2: “Introverts are anti-social”. We really don’t enjoy small talk, so we tend to avoid social situations where we don’t know anyone, or where the conversation is going to be superficial. This does make networking a challenge for us, which can be career limiting. What we seek are meaningful conversations and connections – these give us energy. Spending time with people expends our energy, so unless the social event is really important to us, or we know we’ll be having meaningful conversations, our energy gets depleted quickly and we can become exhausted – the introvert hangover is real!

Myth No. 3: “You’re shy”. Speaking from my own childhood experience as a very shy child, I have since learned that my shyness was a reaction to not being understood or valued, or from being judged. When we experience this 'feedback' from our environment, it can exacerbate any social anxiety we may have, and that can become very real, overwhelming and even crippling. Being reserved, a characteristic often applied to introverts, doesn't mean we're shy. What is actually going on depends on the individual introvert's level of self-esteem, and our ability to manage our internal judgments about ourselves and others.

“Introversion is not a personality flaw!”

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Many of us who are introverted have been told since we were young that we’re not ok or not enough – we’re too quiet, we’re too shy, we're anxious, we don’t play well with others, we lack confidence, we're loners – rather than understanding that our demeanour is about how we create, process and recharge. Introverted behaviours have been, and are still seen as impairments.

When you constantly hear that messaging, it can have a direct impact on your self esteem. You take it in, you end up believing it, and you withdraw into yourself where you feel safe. That ends up creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This can become a habit that we take into our adulthood. When we don’t feel ok, valued, safe or included, we withdraw our energy, keep our thoughts, feelings and ideas to ourselves, and get labelled as quiet, reserved, unassertive, lacking in confidence, and ultimately not seen as strong leadership potential. This pigeon-holing leads us to be overlooked or not even considered for future promotions or career-enhancing opportunities.

To compensate for this, many introverts force ourselves to be extroverted in work situations, which ends up feeling inauthentic, doesn't get the results we are looking for, and is absolutely exhausting.

“When you are told repeatedly that you are not enough, you end up believing it.”

Help Change The Narrative About Introverted Leadership

Those of us who are waking up to the value of who we are as introverted leaders, are deeply frustrated with being misunderstood, misconstrued, undervalued, overlooked, and at worst labelled as not having strong leadership potential. The world needs to change its idea about introverts as leaders, and we need to own who we really are. There's a lot of learning and unlearning that needs to be done!

Here are some strategies that introverted leaders and their organizations can initiate to begin changing the narrative, and to elevate introverted leadership.

WAYS INTROVERTED LEADERS CAN ADVOCATE FOR THEMSELVES

1. Reflect on your past experiences and successes to recognize instances where your introverted traits contributed to effective decision-making and problem-solving.
2. Seek feedback from trusted colleagues, mentors or 360 assessments to gain insights into how your introverted characteristics positively impact your leadership effectiveness.
3. Rehearse talking about your ideas, visions, and expertise so you don’t have to think too much about the words as the memory muscle is there.
4. Educate colleagues and team members on the importance of honouring introverted needs for focused concentration and uninterrupted thinking time to optimize productivity and creativity.

What kind of introverted leader are you? What are your gifts and strengths? What are your introvert superpowers?

Click here to find out what your introvert superpower is in this quick quiz.

WAYS ORGANIZATIONS CAN ELEVATE THEIR INTROVERTED LEADERS

1. Provide opportunities for introverted leaders to engage in reflective exercises, case studies, and group discussions that highlight the effectiveness of deep reflection in decision-making and problem-solving processes.
2. Ensure cross-functional project teams comprise introverted and extroverted leaders to leverage diverse perspectives and approaches to problem-solving.
3. Highlight success stories and case studies that demonstrate the impact of introverted leadership styles on driving organizational growth, fostering innovation, and achieving sustainable results.
4. Provide training and resources on active listening and empathy-building to promote mutual understanding and respect among introverted and extroverted leaders and employees.

Check out my virtual program for introverted leaders starting April 5 - Leverage Your Quiet Brilliance. If you are based in Alberta, Canada, this program meets the requirements of the Canada Alberta Job Grant.

This article is adapted from a 2-part blog post on my website The Free-Spirited Introvert. Read the full blog post here.

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