"Introverts can use their power of listening"

"It's not easy for you to go in and say 'this went wrong, this is my mistake. How do you recognise what went wrong? And how you are going to fix that is more important"

In my conversation with Lai Phan , we also covered her journey of being an introvert, and what she discovered was her secret power: listening.

We covered so much that I'm splitting this into two parts.

LAI'S TAKEAWAYS TO HELP SPUR CONVERSATIONS

1. Have a 'guide' list of things to say when networking, with clients or out with strangers. Write some of the questions you can get answers to, and use these to work off. 'Oh, today the conference is good', 'which sessions did you like?'. Then you can start the conversation from there.
2. Think about what part of the story of a person's talent you can connect to, to the point that they share it with you. This can take your mind into a different direction.
3. Tell yourself to stop thinking about any distractions that come up, and then go back to the conversation focus.

Introverts making an extrovert world their own

"I'm fortunate to have improved significantly over the years through my interactions with others and the support I've received. This system has been instrumental in my growth."

"I believe there are many introverts out there who struggle with initiating conversations. Personally, I find it challenging at times, even as something as simple as asking, 'how are you doing today?'"

"I'm eager to devise practices and tips tailored to help introverts step outside of their comfort zones. How can they initiate conversations? How can they establish connections effortlessly? But then again, what if the person doesn't respond positively to it?"

It's a lot of 'what if's for you to get over to make that first step.

"Over the years, my interactions with others and the support I've received have greatly contributed to my personal growth and development. The implementation of this reporting system has been instrumental in facilitating this positive transformation within myself."

It's clear to me that many introverts, myself included, struggle with initiating conversations and even simple inquiries like 'how are you doing today?'"

"I'm enthusiastic about developing practices and tips specifically tailored to help introverted individuals step out of their comfort zones - how they can confidently initiate conversations and effortlessly establish connections. Yet, I can't help but wonder: what if the person doesn't respond positively to these efforts?"

"Excessive tension can hinder meaningful connections, but there are intriguing aspects to it. When you encounter the right people, it's like finding the perfect frequency, allowing for extensive conversations and genuine connection."

Finding strategies for introversion success

Lai referenced a book "Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids" by Susan Cain that had helped give her some good tips on how she could channels her introvert energy. Referencing her extrovert senior manager, "he told me something that has sat with me ever since:'… ?????? ???????? ???????? ?? ?????????????????? ?????? ???? ?????????????? ???????? ????????????. ???? ?????? ???????? ???????? ???? ???????????? ?????? ?????? ???? ?????????? ?????? ??????. ?????? ??????'?? ???????? ???? ???? ???????? ????.'"

Introvert's powers in listening and the solutions that come.

"I find that by listening to what others say and understanding their cultural perspectives, whether friends or new acquaintances, I'm able to engage and establish connections more easily."

"Observing others during conversation is also crucial - do they tend to listen more or talk more? Introverts excel at listening, which enables them to contribute meaningfully to the discussion."

"Furthermore, the ability to synthesize information often leads to different viewpoints emerging, providing an opportunity to mediate group discussions or further develop ideas. It's important for individuals to recognize their strengths and value in conversations."

That introverts have a value on the table to contribute and to participate, and with that you get more confident to voice that value.

Challenges Faced in Concentration and Distraction

Lai continued with the subject, "With a lot of distractions or chaos around, it's sometimes not so easy to concentrate, unlike when doing meditation. That's why many introverts also find meditation a bit easier, as they tend to be quieter."

"I think it's also applicable that it may be a little easier for introverts to concentrate, due to their nature, but it doesn't mean they don't face the challenge of being distracted."

Making mistakes and being accepted professionally

Moving on from introversion, Lai talked about acknowledging the difficulty in admitting mistakes or shortcomings, especially professionally. Lai's emphasis was on the importance of acknowledging mistakes and taking ownership of them, despite the discomfort it may cause.

"It's about credibility and how skilled you are at admitting a mistake. It's as if it demonstrates you're not competent enough to handle it." "When I was younger and building my career, I wanted to have a good reputation. It's normal to worry about this. And it was important for me to realize and acknowledge the mistakes I didn't manage well, and find a way not just to fix them, but also learn from those lessons."

"It really helped me see how well I'd be able to do the job the next time."

Thank you again to Lai Phan for this interview and her time.

Love to hear what this interview sparked in you.

This is the second interview in the ongoing 'What's Underneath' series, where we find out the gems of how people managing their work environment, day and life. I want to spark new connections, thoughts or reflections in you and all the other readers. Basically, present gems that you don't find in many places on the internet.

I have some great interviews planned throughout 2024, so please subscribe to this newsletter. It'll be worth it!