The Introverted Leader

Growing up as an introvert, my idea of a perfect Saturday night was to curl up in my quiet reading nook with a good book. I loved going on my solo flights of imagination into unknown worlds and living alternate lives through the stories I was reading.

For a long time and well into adulthood, I’ve been embarrassed to admit this. Not about the reading of course, but about my preference for privacy. Somehow it meant that I was not as friendly or outgoing as my extroverted colleagues who were more sociable, expressive and witty – the veritable ‘life of the party’ if you will.

Reading Susan Cain’s book ‘QUIET’ last year was a moment of truth for me, in how I related to my own introversion. It got me thinking about this topic, especially the tagline of the book “the power of introverts in a world that can′t stop talking”. It made my ears perk up, when I heard a manager in one of my coaching sessions say almost guiltily “You know I am actually an introvert. I really hate going to these office parties” as if he were confessing to a wrong-doing. In fact, many leaders I’ve coached since, speak about the immense pressure they feel to conform to extroverted norms in our workplaces and in our societies.

Since reading the book, I’m fast coming to realise the power and the joy of being an introvert.

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What Introversion is…. and what it isn’t

One of the most common myths about introversion is that it is about being shy or socially awkward. It really is not. Case in point: Bill Gates who is a well-known introvert. But instead of being shy or unfriendly, Gates is actually quite well-known for his engaging conversation style!

Introversion or Extroversion is an inner orientation of how we energize ourselves - introverts recharge themselves through solitude, whereas extroverts through social interactions. It is an inner preference to what we give our attention to. Introverts pay more attention to the inner world of thoughts and feelings, while extroverts naturally focus on the external world of objects, people and activities. Introverts prefer reflection and extroverts action.

So really there isn’t any good or bad about it. Just preferences and personal styles, each with their own set of strengths and drawbacks.

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The Power of Introverts:

With introversion being the subject matter of many books and articles this past decade, being an introvert has of late become quite fashionable.

Marty Laney in the ‘Introvert Advantage’ says that introverts

• have excellent listening and observation skills
• are more creative
• make deep, long-lasting and meaningful connections

Generally speaking, introverts tend to be thoughtful and reflective with an ability to see warning signs and risks a mile away! They often excel in analytical thinking and problem-solving, because of their deep focus and ability to stay with problems longer. From an emotional intelligence standpoint too, they are relatively more self-aware, manage their emotions better and can help the team calm down during crises.

I’ve also noticed a fascinating phenomenon in meeting rooms: whenever an introvert speaks, the whole room sits up and listens. It seems that when one speaks little, whatever one speaks has value and is taken seriously. This makes sense because introverts carefully choose their words, speaking consciously, concisely, and after deep contemplation.

The Myth of Charismatic Leadership

Susan Cain in her book highlights the shift in our society over the past few decades, of moving away from valuing inner character towards focusing solely on the cult of personality, outer charm and charisma. Think about the number of best-selling books that promise to help you build that winsome personality, influence people or make friends effortlessly.

In business or leadership though, there is no evidence that a charismatic personality makes better leaders or leads to more business success. There is no one personality style that is strongly correlated to success. Instead, what’s important is one’s flexibility to demonstrate both styles.

True it’s great to have a leader who is so dynamic, passionate and articulate that she is able to get you to buy-in to the vision of the company. But when such a leader also chooses to consciously embrace introversion when needed, this flexibility then becomes her superpower. Almost like selecting the most appropriate tool from her toolkit to use in a given situation.

The Rise of the Ambivert

If you still strongly identify yourself as an Introvert, it’s important that you lean into your power, speak up and contribute when needed. Remember that diverse voices are essential for the room (whether it’s your team, your company, or the world at large) and holding yourself back only hinders progress of the larger group. Imagine a world without the invaluable contributions of people like Charles Darwin, Mahatma Gandhi, Rosa Parks, Albert Einstein, Nelson Mandela and JK Rowling!

As a leader it’s important to fill your team with people of the opposite disposition so there is diversity and behavioural flexibility. Strive to respect each other’s preferences, because the business world needs both dispositions. The more we complement each other, the more collaborative and successful we will be.

My personal growth journey has been to rise above labels or at least explore new ones that serve me. Along the way, I am learning to shed the ‘introvert’ label I grew up with and instead lean into the fluidity that comes with being an "ambivert" - the so called ‘healthy’ middle of the Extroversion-Introversion spectrum.

Ultimately, I guess we are all ambiverts in various shades, not really wanting to be confined to a rigid label of Introvert or Extrovert. Our capacity to adapt and be flexible is immense, depending on the situations we encounter. And embracing this nature in ourselves and in our teams leads to more success and a stronger sense of who we are, as leaders and as people.

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