Introvert in psychotherapy

We are humans. Humans are biased. No matter how hard we try, we have assumptions. One of them is if you are introverted, all the best jobs are closing the door for you. All that's left is rather boring. In reality, introverts are working in numerous spheres and many interesting jobs are a good fit for an introvert. A hero of this article and a member of Introvert in Business community, Laurie, has chosen one of those jobs. A psychotherapist and trainer of psychotherapists.

-Hi Laurie! Could you please tell us what your job looks like? What do you do during your workday?

As I do training as well as psychotherapy sessions, my weeks vary from one to another. I feel really good when I look at my agenda and see I mostly have individual therapy sessions, with some free spaces each day and maybe a morning off. I know that will be a week with time for walks or reading or writing, which is resourcing for me. On such days I look forward to my sessions with people, I prepare for each by reading my notes from the previous time, and I think I just have the best job in the world.

Which is not to say that therapy sessions are always a bowlful of joy! Together (the patient and I), we go through still times when nothing seems to change, rough times when they really don’t like me, and great times when good changes are happening. I can take such satisfactions home with me and enjoy them in retrospect, after having rejoiced along with my client. That aspect of my work is a large part of my sense of purpose, it is really ??nourishing for the soul??.?

Other weeks include training days — which means, groups! Seeing one or two (or three!) of those in the coming week gives me a tighter feeling. It already looks tiring! I am eager for each one of those days to be over. But then I am with the group, and except for a few times in some 25 years of teaching, I really enjoy the group. We have interesting exchanges, I enjoy their questions, they seem to mostly like my answers, we develop real bonds of affection.?

So it is a challenge to continue leading training groups, because of the somewhat anxious anticipation. But it is so rewarding! I often weigh the pros and cons, wondering if I would be happier if I stopped doing that. But I am a true believer in ??good stress??: it is good for us to push ourselves outside of our comfort zones, as long as it is not too often, nor too far outside the comfort zone. Balance, there again. We need enough stress to keep life interesting and to keep ourselves ??fed?? in human contact, and enough rest and withdrawal to recover.

-What are the things people assume wrongly about your profession?

I think people have varied assumptions about psychotherapists — that they are more balanced than other people / that they are a bit crazy, that they love their job and clients / that they resent their job and clients, that they live in the office thinking only about psychotherapy… Of course all those ideas are both true and false. Many of us are ?wounded healers?, so yes we do have wounds. And we have usually done much introspective psychotherapy work of our own, with our own therapists and our own supervisors, so we hope to have means to deal with most of the stresses of life. And yes, we can have strong emotions in our work, emotions of our own or emotions connected with our clients. And yes, we usually are quite passionate about this profession, it is not an ordinary job. We do think about it a lot — probably like all other professionals who are passionate about their jobs!

-What is it that you love, as an introvert in your job?

Setting my own schedule a lot of the time. Having alone time before and after sessions. Reflecting and reading about my field.

-What is it that you hate as an introvert, about this profession?

I wouldn't say "hate", exactly, but often I dread having to be with a group - before being with them. Then when I am with them, I mostly find the work fascinating and enjoyable -- and tiring!

-What is your bigger mission, what is the value that you get from it. What's in it for you beyond the salary and the perks?

Feeling useful.

-At your job, what is it you are as an introvert good at and extroverts fail with?

Working alone is fine for me. When we have extroverts beginning their training in our institute, they are often afraid of being alone so much.?

-Imagine your niece, 16 y.o. introvert wants to follow the same path and ask for your advice. She is hesitant about whether it's a good fit for the introvertish side of her. Can you give her advice?

Introverts aren’t all the same, so I can’t be sure this will be right for you. For your introvert side, there are many advantages, as you will spend a lot of time either one-on-one (which introverts like) in client sessions or in supervision, in deep conversation; or on your own, reflecting, reading, writing about your patients. If you work in an institution, however, you might be submitted to a heavy caseload and have little time to reflect. And of course you will need to get a lot of personal therapy because this particular work stirs up many things inside of us! And make sure you set aside enough alone time to recuperate after a day’s work.

Perhaps I do have the best job in the world: I get lots of quiet times, with individual patients and in between sessions, and when I write. And I get enough stimulating (and stressful) times, when I’m teaching or supervising younger colleagues. And above all, since I am self-employed, I get to choose my own balance. On the whole, that is, as sometimes things turn out differently, and a day or week will turn out to be fuller than I want. But still, the freedom of choosing whether to work more in order to earn more, or work less and manage with less, that is precious freedom!

Dear introverts! If you are interested to add your story to the Introverts' jobs survey, you can fill it here.