Introvert, Ambivert or Extrovert? Behaviours, Attitude, Skills & Experience

Having been in the industry now for what is fast approaching 20 years, I have been fortunate enough to have had a fair degree of success to date, and of course some failures too. What has been fundamental throughout my journey so far is continually focussing on learning, adapting and developing to meet the ever changing demands of the market.

The key elements for any successful company are its people, be it the factory worker, the analyst, the developer, the back office, the sales team, the managers or the leaders. From the start of the recruitment process through to the 10th year anniversary of employment, it is imperative that the Behaviours and Attitude, alongside the importance of Skills and Experience are the right fit - be it from an employee or employer perspective.

As a CEO for many years, the thought of public speaking still fills me with fear and anxiety. Each time I am thrust into the limelight or asked to speak in front of an audience, I tend to dread the task ahead. It takes a certain type of person to start, run and build their own business, but what type of person is that? You might assume that the more extroverted type of characteristics are essential prerequisites in any sales or leadership role. There are numerous people stretching back 100's of years, in many different guises, that prove this theory to be flawed.

What is key is how unique each of us truly are, and how throughout our working lives we often fail to realise this. How often do we judge others based on our own beliefs of what is good, or bad, or right or wrong? Essentially we are saying unless the person adheres to our own beliefs of what is normal, right, wrong or great, then they are weird?! But what is weird to you is probably not weird to them at all, and vice versa. Isn’t this approach rather egotistical? How do we understand this better? The art of understanding people is the key to building any successful business.

Over the last 20-30 years we have seen a huge shift and a break away from the traditional industrial factory type operation, with such things as remote working, flexitime and fun creative working environments, but how do we address the needs of individual personality types?

The latest trend seems to be personality tests such as Myers Briggs, Mcquaig or NLP, where the results are presented and everyone gets excited about knowing how best to manage a situation, a person or adhere to the behaviours identified in themselves. My experience has led me to believe that the results usually last about a week, then they fall away, and managers tend to manage how they have always managed, or people act how they have always acted – expecting the same results from the same actions.

Most industries categorise people as ‘certain types of people’, Creative Director’s for example in the digital and media space tend to look, talk and act in a certain way, the smart suits and pristine tie brigade don’t stand a chance here! On the flip side in the corporate banking world for example, you could probably eat your lunch off your own shoes, and you must look like you are about to go to the most glamorous high profile wedding, as you jump on the tube at 6:30am each morning, reading the Financial Times.

How do we adjust our own behaviours and views to become better managers, better employers, better employee’s or just better people?

Keeping individuals happy doesn’t always guarantee a great team, there are numerous examples of this, particularly in the sporting world where star players are paid huge sums of money, but do not deliver, or the team doesn’t deliver as a whole. Great teams must have common goals, a collective vision, shared attitudes and a team ethic.

Building a great team starts with hiring and of course the responsibility is on the employer to ensure they have chosen the right person, it is also the responsibility of the potential employee to choose the right company. How can we ensure this happens more successfully?

From both an employer and employee perspective most of us expect there to be bull**** versus the truth, starting as early as the first interview – so why is this approach taken far too often? Most new hires won't voice disillusionment early on, it then manifests into something a lot bigger and can spread like a virus in your business. Bull**** is pointless in the long run – no company or candidate is perfect, so why not be upfront from the outset about what's good in your business, and also what's bad? This honest approach will more often than not benefit you in the long run, and immediately create trust and respect, traits that are hard to acquire all of the time with every person you meet.  To quote Robin Williams in the film Good Will Hunting:

“You’re not perfect sport, and let me save you the suspense, this girl you’ve met, she’s not perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you’re perfect for each other.” Can this can be applied to your next hire or your next career move, even during the hiring process? For example, why not establish what’s great, and not so great now, on both sides of the table, and work to address these elements from day one.

Would you hire a star performer with a very poor attitude…? Recruitment, or whatever it is we do in our role is a task, quality is an attitude, so why hire a superstar with an terrible attitude, irrespective of how talented they are?  They may well deliver great results, but often this comes at a high price, with similar or more amounts of negative energy and disruptive team harmony, then before you know it your team is crumbling before your very eyes – is this person really worth it? Getting rid of poor attitude in your team is just as critical as adding quality people. Just one or two of the poor attitude types can destroy your entire team’s morale and that can be fatal. I have seen this myself with dramatic effect and have learned that the poor negative attitude of so few, can have a widespread and detrimental affect so quickly on the rest of the business.

Once you have created your best team and eradicated the disruptive people, how do you get the best from your elite team? Team motivation and bonding is important, but what works?  Team involvement, empowerment, autonomy and self-organisation are crucial elements, so making it your team’s idea, concept and plan is crucial. Old school dictatorship of my way or the highway just doesn’t wash anymore. Surely the root of success lies with understanding what your team believes in, what morals, ethics and approach they prefer, what they want from you, your business and their role. Not necessarily what YOU want directly, but understanding what THEY want and what makes people happy will mean everyone wins.  A recent report shows that most people or teams want to be PROUD, HAPPY, LEARNING, EVOLVING and ADAPTABLE, they believe in COMMUNICATING, BEST PRACTICE, SUPPORTING, POSITIVITY and TEACHING! Get these things right and the results will follow.

Measuring this is important, so getting the team to score themselves against their core values after each period is essential. This way both you and they can track performance, motivation and attitude good or bad, and you will soon notice that there is a direct correlation in the results of their sales performance, directly related to their core beliefs

Introvert, Ambivert or Extrovert?

The personality traits of extroversion and introversion fall on a spectrum, and most of experts’ focus has been on the two ends. Now, social psychologists, behavioural scientists and business experts are taking a closer look at the overlooked category which is smack in the middle. This is termed as Ambiversion and people with this trait may have some personal and professional advantages and be more adaptable.

Introverts, on the other end of the spectrum, become energized internally. They prefer to spend time alone, with one other person or with a small group. They feel drained by a lot of social interaction or a crowd. They gather their thoughts carefully before they speak.

You can tell if you’re an ambivert by asking yourself how you’d behave in common situations. What do you crave after a long day at work when you need to refuel — a happy hour with friends, or your sofa and the remote control? At a social event, at what point do you want to leave — as soon as you get there or after the last person has left? In a conversation, do you prefer to think through your answers before speaking, or throw out whatever idea comes to mind and bat it back and forth? If you’re an ambivert, your preference will often be somewhere in the middle — you choose to have a drink with a friend after work but then afterward go home and take a long walk with the dog.

A study of ambiverts, published in June 2013 in the journal Psychological Science, looked at 340 outbound call-center sales people. It showed that the social and emotional flexibility of the ambiverts in the group made them superior sales people. The participants filled out a 20-measure personality test, then the researcher assessed each person’s sales revenue for the next three months, controlling four other variables. The employees with the highest revenue were ambiverts, or the people who had a personality test score exactly between extroversion and introversion.

Ambiversion has gotten more attention in recent years, as books, TEDx talks and consulting firms have sprung up focusing on introversion and how personality traits impact people’s behaviors in marriages, families and work. More than half the population is ambiverted, according to Wharton’s Dr. Grant. His research shows that roughly two-thirds of people are ambiverts, while one-third are either strong introverts or strong extroverts.

Me, I’m an Ambivert….!  I like to be at home with my family, watching a film reading a book, playing various sports, or just relaxing happily with my wife and children. Conversely when I'm in certain environments, I can happily be at the forefront, leading a team or a business, motivating and driving towards a target or a team goal, be creative and confident in challenging situations, or open up and chair up a lively debate. Am I weird, boring, unsociable, normal, insular, risk averse, balanced or too analytical? Some might well say yes to all, or none of the above. But I prefer to be me – and that is OK!

The book Quiet by Susan Cain studies introversion in a very compelling way, it identifies there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. This type of personality is so widely misconstrued and judged in so many different walks of life. It is OK TO BE ME but also I have realised how wrong I have been about others!

Who am I to judge other people based on my own attitude or personality? Just because I am not an extrovert, I don’t like big crowds, the spotlight, large social gatherings or going out every weekend, it doesn’t make me right or wrong, and doesn't make everyone who doesn’t do what I do right or wrong either!

I still fall into the trap of judging what normal is, using me as the benchmark for normal. Who wants to be normal anyway – whatever that is?!  If you are not like me you are weird – how egotistical is that?!

If you repeatedly criticise someone for liking something you don’t, they won’t stop liking it, they will stop liking you.

If you were asked to describe an introvert I guess the words shy, timid, quiet or weak would spring to mind? With an extrovert you might say words such as loud, brash, confident and strong. In fact being an introvert or extrovert is nothing to do with how we look or act. It has everything to do with how we react to stimulation and recharge our energy levels.

As Susan Cain put it in her book, extroverts really crave large amounts of stimulation, whereas introverts feel at their most alive, most switched on, and most capable when they are in quieter low key environments. Brash confidence isn’t always best, it can sometimes be a mask or misinterpreted as something that will achieve success or the desired outcome. It is the quiet ones sometimes, the introverts, who deliver the best results.

If you were to ask an extrovert to stay at home on their own relaxing they might start to climb the walls after half an hour, and want to go out and meet people to socialise, and that is how they recharge. On the flip side an introvert would be delighted to avoid such a thing as they might feel daunted and swamped in such an environment, preferring to gain their energy in a different way. Either way who are we to judge?

So many of us do the same thing but feel the opposite to other people in the same situations or environments, but we continue to judge the other type of person in the wrong way.

As Leaders we spend the majority of our time managing, developing, collaborating and dealing with people, so it goes without saying that it’s imperative we start to understand the people we interact with! Getting to grips with this means there is a fair chance we will become better leaders.

Most CEO’s and leaders are more extroverted than the rest of the business, but so many of us judge each other based on assumption or because it's just not how we would do it. The person who doesn’t attend social events, or does but then ducks out early?  Are they not motivated, not motivational, not a team player? Or are they just someone who doesn’t enjoy that aspect as much as others, and are they in fact totally committed and loyal to the business for the right reasons, and do they have a high level of integrity and respect for the leadership? They are not there just to be social and get drunk, they are in the business to make a REAL difference?

On the other hand, is the person who goes to every social event, incentive or party, and plays the party animal or entertainment officer flawlessly every time, perceived as only caring about the next event and getting hammered. Is this person right or wrong, or is the person judging them in the first place, with no understanding of the person, the one who needs to evolve? Or is the socilaite the person who is the glue that holds the business together, the person who sparks a laugh and creates team spirit, who without them the team would have little or no motivation?

Judging others by the benchmark of ourselves is such a huge mistake and can lead to conflicts and cliques developing - different to you or me doesn’t mean worse than you or me!

Imagine if you truly knew what type of personality your employees are deep down, all what meets the eye may not be the actual truth, getting to know what makes each person really tick is crucial, so understanding why people do things can have a huge impact on your leadership success.

Nobody is a pure introvert or a pure extrovert, and of course many of us are somewhere near the middle, so are Ambiverts, or can even change from one to another over time. There is no right or wrong with either, all have their pros and cons. The introverted types can generally be perceived more negatively than the extroverts, but seemingly this tends to fluctuate throughout time. Instead of thinking about extroversion or introversion as labels, let's think about this as an extrovert spectrum with people ranking from low, medium or high.

Famous introverts include: JK Rowling, Stephen Spielberg, Albert Einstein, Bill Gates. Barack Obama, Tom Hanks, Audrey Hepburn and Abraham Lincoln to name a few. This doesn’t mean they are necessarily timid or weak, they just prefer peace, deep thinking and quiet, versus noise, lots of people and heavy interaction.

It has only been since the turn of the 20th century when corporate America came into play, and the board room has become ever present in business - where it is perceived you must be loud to be heard. The culture of character has changed to a culture of personality. In other words a culture of who we are deep down, is being replaced with a culture of how we are perceived by others.

Studies show how things have evolved and how some of the most commonly used words to describe people have dramatically changed

19th Century – Culture of Character

Integrity, Duty, Work, Honour, Reputation, Morals, Citizenship, Manners

20th Century – Culture of Personality

Magnetic, Fascinating, Stunning, Attractive, Glowing, Dominant, Forceful, Energetic

In order to be great people managers and leaders we need to be great at understanding people. The art of psychology plays a big part , the definition of this is explained below:

Taken from the NHS careers website:

Psychology is a science based profession on the study of people, how they think, how they act, and interact. It’s concerned with all aspects of behaviour, and the thoughts, feelings and motivations underlying them.

Isn't team management pretty much exactly the same?

In summary, making decisions on your next career move, hiring or managing people, based purely on the skills, experience, history, or past achievements, using a one size fits all approach is not going to cut it. The level of sophistication, psychology, emotional intelligence and cultural aspects of our lives should play a huge role in how we formulate our decisions. To avoid judging characteristics and personality traits that we perceive to be right or wrong, without truly understanding them, or the people who adopt them, is an art in itself. The benefit of getting to truly know how someone really ticks deep down should never be underestimated, overlooked or exhaustive.