Introspection: insights that transformed my life and my career

This week, during my trip to Bucharest, I, unfortunately, contracted Covid-19 for the first time, which has resulted in my #isolation. In the midst of this, I came across a message from DDr. Milan KRAJNC that resonated with me deeply. Up until now, I haven't shared much about my #personaljourney, except with my family and a select few close friends. However, maybe it's time for a change and that my #experiencesharing will be valued. Not for my own sake, but because perhaps there are some #valuableinsights in my five decades on this planet that could touch someone else's life when they need it most, something that could alleviate the heaviness and senselessness of the world and maybe even inspire and motivate. I've learned how important it is to not feel #alone and #lost within this crazy human race and to persist in the pursuit of a #meaningfullife. In my younger years, I often felt trapped in my own pain, hoping that others would come to my aid. But I soon realized that everyone carries their own burdens and sorrows, and I learned to navigate my own through #writing and #introspection. Isolation, throughout my five decades of life, has become something I cherish, seek, and appreciate. Each decade has brought its own challenges that forced me into periods of solitude.?

During my middle school years, I experienced a profound loss when my grandmother succumbed to cancer. She was the pillar of my world, and her departure plunged me into a realm of darkness and silence, where I contemplated the delicate #nature of #life and the #mysteries surrounding #death. It was during this period that I made a firm decision never to allow the fear of death to govern my life's choices.

At the age of 23, I found myself grappling with the aftermath of a traumatic relationship and the painful breakup from a person whom I was deeply infatuated with, despite their toxic attachment to alcohol and abuse. It was during this challenging period that I confronted one of the most difficult choices of my life: I made a firm commitment that moving forward, regardless of the circumstances, any act of physical aggression towards me would unequivocally signify the end of the relationship, prompting me to walk away with #strength, #selfconfidence and #respect.

In my 30s, after a whirlwind decade of traversing the ocean between Europe and the US for my Ph.D., obtaining my green card as an #outstanding #researcher at #nasa, raising two children, and juggling a demanding job, I experienced a pivotal moment. It occurred the day after witnessing a #spaceshuttle's arduous battle against #gravity at Kennedy Space Center, where I unexpectedly passed out during a meeting. Initial medical examinations revealed an anomaly in my brain. This prompted me to ponder the question of whether I wanted to grow old within the confines of the #relationship I was in at that time. It shattered my illusion of #boundless #energy in my #youth and underscored the realization that the world operates far from the realm of pure #logic. Ultimately, this experience led me on a path to finding a #true #partner and allowed me to experience the profound joy of being genuinely #loved.

In my 40s, I made the decision to #resign from my position at NASA. The too-slow-for-my-taste and too-bureaucratic nature of the system left me feeling as though my energy was being absorbed into a black hole, and I yearned to make a tangible #impact within my lifetime. Disappointed by the lack of mentorship from older female mentors, who ultimately revealed their fear of my potential, I realized, albeit two decades later, that I should have pursued #entrepreneurship —a choice that may not have been readily available to me in my 20s. I'm a firm believer that an important aspect that defines a person's credibility is the alignment between their words and their actions. I felt that it was my responsibility and also the last window of opportunity to pursue my passion for #microgravity and #in-space #manufacturing in the hope that I would see it become a reality in my #lifetime. This experience taught me that people often become #prisoners of #societal #expectations and may believe it is too late to break free. Additionally, I learned that choosing to be "nice" and avoiding conflict can hinder progress, whereas practicing assertiveness and respectfully expressing opposing views or perspectives is crucial for the well-being of both individuals and society at large. I also strive to be a good mentor and deeply believe that unfortunately, we forgot to age wisely and #pass on the #baton with a smile on our faces and not with the fear of the young generations. I realized that at 50 years old the future that I won't see happening is already being built 20 years behind me. It is our duty to not stand in the way of evolution but ensure that we do it sensibly.

Self-discovery encompasses a multitude of facets, as individuals encounter unexpected triggers and forks along their journey, guiding them to delve deeper within their inner #telescope. It is not a singular event but a continuous and evolving process known as #LIFE. While some may remain oblivious to its significance, others have made considerable progress. No matter where we are on that #path of #learning and #growth during our #lifetime we have to treat others with #kindness and #understanding while continuing to provide #critical and #constructive #feedback. Utilizing time for #self-reflection, #introspection, and #personalgrowth is not only a profound #responsibility but also a remarkable #freedom that we possess as #human beings. I wholeheartedly hope that you will find this write-up beneficial in your own journey... wherever you are!