Introduction to Thailand Part 4-Stay Calm, Be Considerate & Smile

Thailand is widely acknowledged as the Land of Smiles, an allusion to the regularly held opinion that Thai people are cheerful and friendly people who like to smile, despite whether by Western standards the circumstance is suitable or not.

To appreciate your time in Thailand, it is imperative to know what underpins the Thai national character and the nuances involved in communicating with Thai people. This will enable you to prevail in any circumstance and to naturally go with the flow of Thai life.

If there is one epithet that you should learn and understand during your time in Thailand that will establish you a head start, it is Mai Phen Rai. This vaguely decodes as ‘no worries’ or ‘no problem’. Some people like to liken it to ‘Hakuna Matata’ from The Lion King-‘It means no worries for the rest of your days’.

Scholars propose that this viewpoint derives from Thailand’s Buddhist origins that encourage mercy, tenderness and non-aggressiveness.

Some examples of when to exercise, or possess this Mai Phen Rai philosophy are:

Standing in line at a 7/11 and someone rushes in and pushes in front of you!

• Mai phen rai; it will be your turn in a minute!

Someone bumps into you in a busy street or subway!

• Mai phen rai; it was likely an accident!

A food stall owner overcharges you on your order!

• Mai phen rai; the charge can be corrected!

A tuk-tuk driver turns up late, or even forgets to meet you at the pre-arranged time!

• Mai phen rai; you can just find another taxi!

Although the ‘Mai Phen Rai’ attitude, coupled with the ever-present smile, may appear somewhat vexatious and irksome to a Western visitor, recognise that it is fundamental to the Thai philosophy for intercommunications and relationships.

Possibly problematical circumstances will be resolved much more swiftly and with far less nuisance if you adopt this attitude.

Yelling! Getting irritated, and even presenting legitimate & logical rationalisation will only make matters worse!

Never overreact in Thailand! The culture here is not one of complaining to get your own way, in fact, it’s the complete opposite!

All that your responses will probably do is make the Thai person you are confronting ‘lose face’, which will have consequences. Thai people are very proud, with a heightened feeling of self-esteem and dignity.

Any circumstance that scrutinises or offends a Thai person, or is considered an insult to their ego is most certainly to initiate a strong emotional response.

Saving face, understanding one’s place in the hierarchical structure and sustaining ego is crucial to Thai people, and therefore must be recognised in all intercommunications.

Another common Thai feature that is invaluable to learn about and understand is the capacity to possess ‘Kreng Jai’.

The literal interpretation of ‘Kreng Jai’ is ‘reverence of the heart’ or ‘obeisant heart’.

‘Kreng Jai’ is regularly at the core of many obstacles that foreigners encounter in Thailand.

‘Kreng Jai’ represents the act of being thoughtful of other people’s feelings, even if the other person is incorrect.

Conveying ‘Kreng Jai’ is imperative, even if it is complicated!

For example, if a co-worker agrees to complete something at the weekend but doesn’t do it, furthermore, they had no plan to do it, one must try to display ‘Kreng Jai’, and endeavour to comprehend why the person didn’t do it, in spite of saying they would. In accepting the work, they were attentive of your feelings by not insulting you through rejection.

Complications occur in Thai–foreigner associations when a foreigner receives a Thai person’s kreng Jai without returning it, possibly because it is deemed irrelevant or a sign of vulnerability.

Surprisingly, many Thais don’t mind telling white lies to circumvent disputes or to save the sensibilities of the person they are lying to.

Criticism evasion methods are especially important in Thai social intercommunications. One has to be resilient and understanding, even if a circumstance is exceptionally vexatious. Kreng Jai and Mai Phen Rai, accordingly, work hand in hand in many situations in Thailand.

Admittedly this is all very complicated, however, to appreciate residing in the Land of Smiles, one needs to be able to navigate the Thai character’s subtleties by understanding the above characteristics, and using the same methods so as not to offend their sensibilities.

Always endeavour to not upset the balance, status quo, or harmony of intercommunications and consider other people’s happiness, sometimes at the cost of your own.

After all, several scholars surmise that Mai Phen Rai & Kreng Jai are the essence of Thai-ness. So remember, stay calm, be considerate and smile, after all, you are in Thailand, and everyone else is smiling; you don’t want to stand out from the crowd, do you?

Look out for the Introduction to Thailand Part 5 for more information on Thai antiquity, religion and traditions, as well as much, much more! 

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