Introduction to the Differences Between What and Who

I had a conversation a couple of months ago with a friend I originally met about 17 years ago. He was only 18 years old when we met, but he was already engaged in many various endeavors and hungry to learn and try new things. He was facing a conundrum: He didn’t know how to express and tie together the wide range and variety of things (all the whats) he had done and accomplished over the years.??

I told him to present all of his ‘what’ through the ‘who.’ His work experiences are many and, at a glance, not linked together, so that leaves much room for misinterpretation and assumptions. However, when you learn more about who he is, you come to understand how the things he’s done are linked together and that while many, they still don’t paint the full picture of what he’s capable of doing. It would be limiting who he is to evaluate him based on what he’s done.

What Boxes Us In?

I found the same thing to be true in my life. The things I’ve done (what) are all over the place. As a fast learner with a curious mind who isn’t afraid of taking risks, I’ve openly pursued all of my interests and passions because that’s part of who I am.?

I’ve left plenty of people scratching their heads, wondering how I’ve been able to do certain things when I had no experience in that area. Not having the experience never concerned me because I believed in who I was and, therefore, what I was capable of doing.

Unfortunately, too many people place their confidence in what they’ve done and accomplished as the yardstick for what they can do. This ties in to sticking with our comfort zones and having an aversion to change. We identify with and build our lives on our job titles, accomplishments, degrees, qualifications, social roles, spheres of influence, etc. On the ‘what’ of our lives.?

Communicating via the what of our lives introduces labels, assumptions, and stereotypes that further restrict our identity, both in how we see ourselves and how others perceive us.?

We also hide behind and become trapped by the 'what' of our lives, using various facets of our existence as shields that obscure our true selves. Professional titles and achievements often become defining aspects of our identity, where job titles, degrees, and accolades overshadow our personal virtues and values.?

Material possessions, such as the cars we drive, the houses we live in, and the brands we wear, act as facades that conceal our authentic selves from others and even from ourselves. On social media, we present curated lives that mask our genuine experiences, showcasing an idealized version of 'what' we have or do rather than 'who' we are.?

The busy schedules we maintain and the long lists of tasks we accomplish serve to divert attention from our true identity, creating a superficial measure of worth based on productivity. Furthermore, identifying solely with roles such as being a parent, spouse, or caregiver can lead to neglecting the deeper aspects of our identity. Lastly, success metrics such as wealth, fame, and influence often cover personal insecurities or inadequacies, steering focus away from the intrinsic qualities that constitute our true selves.?

Who Opens (Frees) Us Up

Living our lives based on who we are frees and opens us up because who we are is not static, limited, or final. Living from the who provides us with possibilities and options because we can change, improve and expand what we can do through learning, grit, perseverance, and having a growth mindset.?

When we focus on who we are, driven by our virtues and values, we create opportunities and freedom that come from authenticity and self-awareness. This approach allows us to align with the right people and with our true purpose, fostering connections that support and elevate us. Purpose-driven living makes us more open-minded and willing to take risks, stepping outside of our comfort zones to pursue meaningful growth and experiences.

By embracing who we are, we unlock our potential and create a path for continuous personal and professional development. This alignment with our true selves encourages resilience in the face of challenges as we draw strength from our core values. It also enables us to be more adaptable, learning from each experience and viewing setbacks as opportunities for growth.?

Living and communicating authentically and in alignment with our purpose attracts like-minded individuals and communities, providing a supportive network that encourages further exploration and risk-taking. Ultimately, focusing on who we are not only enhances our capabilities but also enriches our lives with deeper, more fulfilling relationships and a clearer sense of direction.

In the next edition, we’ll get into what it looks like to focus more on the who.

Below is a continuation of my wake-up call in realizing it’s about the who over what. I found myself firmly rooted in God and, therefore, who I am. This also made it clear that if God cares more about who I am and others are than anything else, then that’s also what I should care the most about.??

My Wake-up Call Continued

What became clear to me in my walk of faith is that God is much more interested in who I am than in what I can do and achieve. The will of God for my life starts with me being more Christlike. When we are born again and accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we become new creatures in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) through the renewal of our minds. God is constantly invested in helping us become who He created us to be.

This realization transformed how I viewed my life and priorities. It confirmed it’s not about accumulating accolades or reaching worldly milestones; it's about embodying the virtues and character of Christ. My spiritual journey is centered on personal transformation—developing love, patience, kindness, humility, and all the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). God is less concerned about my professional success or material belongings and more focused on my inner growth and spiritual maturity.

In God's eyes, my worth is not measured by my achievements but by my faithfulness, obedience, and alignment with His will. The journey of faith is about cultivating a heart that seeks God first, striving to reflect His love and grace in every aspect of my life. This involves continuous self-examination, repentance, and the willingness to be molded by God's hands.

I want everything I do to flow from who I am in Him. God's investment in me is evident in His desire for a personal relationship with me. This relationship is the cornerstone of my identity and the source of my strength and direction. As I draw closer to God, I become more attuned to His voice and guidance, enabling me to live out my calling with authenticity and integrity.

My actions and achievements are merely the outworking of the transformation happening within me and my obedience to His guidance and direction. As I prioritize being over doing, I get to experience true fulfillment and peace.

In the last few years, as a fully submitted and surrendered who I am to God, a new interesting pattern developed. Instead of the ‘what’ (my circumstances) changing and the ‘who’ remaining the same, my circumstances began to repeat themselves, which allowed me to witness how I was changing because now my behaviors, mindset, thoughts, and reactions were different and began to reflect who I am in Christ.

The ways I’ve changed are not something I could’ve done on my own. I know because I’d tried before, but under stress, pressure, and unknowns, I would revert back to my old ways. On my own, I managed to make improvements; God, on the other hand, made permanent changes.?