Introducing A Special Son & Caregiver

Our lives are made up of moments in time and replaced by a different moment. We come across challenges in our lives that are difficult for various reasons. It might be a financial burden, physical burden, emotional, or spiritual.

When our son was born with cerebral palsy, we were advised that nothing was wrong to "there is no hope - put him away and forget you had him." For parents to hear words from someone they respect, a doctor, there is a lot of heartache and disbelief! It does not matter why they think that, but no parent should ever be told such things.

Life has caused a lot of challenges, but we never lost hope that we could get through our problems. It was always preparing us for something even more difficult to go through, even though we did not realize it at the time.

What other parents never have to experience, the lifting and tugging and pulling on a body that is unable to help takes a toll on the one doing the lifting. We never realized that it would take our ability to do the lifting, but it did. No one was concerned about the parent's health at the time our son was born. It was a time that more parents kept their special kids at home instead of taking them in public.

It is great that we now realize that a parent, or caregiver, needs to learn how to do the lifting and care for their own bodies in order to care for someone else.

Since we did the best we could, never giving up, trying one thing over and over to help him, our bodies have taken a toll physically. That is a big reason that I am such an advocate to help other parents learn self-care so they can continue to care for those they love as long as possible.

Fast forward many years, we have had experiences with residential care, respite care, group homes, and anything we could find to care for our son as long as possible. However, we have faced so many discouraging, disheartening, and sad problems along the way. It involved having some physical abuse and neglect of his needs at times, and finding out things were stolen, and when assaulted, seeing how the wheels of justice did not serve our son, but those who were in business to make money off these precious people. It is a service that needs more accountability.

After the physical assault of a helpless person, we were determined to find help that would be loving and care for him, as our own health was not able to continue to lift him every day.

God opened the doors for a couple who loves our son and has cared for him in their home for several years. Their small children grew up with loving and accepting our son as part of their family. We could never have asked God for such a blessing. I do not know if many people even know that there are families who are willing to care for others. They are loving and kind. They treat him as though he knew a lot, and we found out he knew more than he was ever given credit for.

This precious family deserves more credit for all they do. In fact, they work hard and he is a chef. They have a business of catering, but it was closed down 3 days after they found a place to stay and work permanently last year. Covid was hard on them. Hoever, I never heard them complain.

They make it a habit that they feed the homeless. This happens a lot,but who do you know that plans to do that on Christmas Day every year? Their kids have always worked around this event, and it is just the way they help people. I know their hearts are wonderful.

They just worked hard during the past few years , saving money, and lived with parents, while a house was being built handicapped accessible. Why? Because they care for our son. He is loved and we love them! We love their kids, their parents, their friends and all of those that have been friends while they have had our son. Their friends have acceepted him from the first moment. This is rare! Many leave couples when they have special needs kids because they just do not know how to handle it.

I tried to start a Go Fund me to help with a driveway for the house when I saw the mud mixed with gravel and cardboard on top. That was not good for pushing a wheelchair. Our son is in the wheelchair 24/7 because he cannot lay down without throwing up. The challenges are daily, but they handle them in their pleasant way. Can you imagine?

I wish that the GoFundMe had worked (Driveway for Blake) to make it easier to care for him, but they will try to manage. I know it is hard and because my own health broke down, I try to protect them by doing anything I can to make it easier for them. I appreciate them and love them.

You need to know there are good people out there. I am blessed to know them and have them in our lives. We are very grateful. I also know that I am an advocate for others because I see needs of many that others are unaware of. Life has blessed us in providing for our needs, so it is only right to give back by helping others. I hope you will look for someone in your life (family or neighbors) who are caring for someone and offer help. An hour of sitting while that person does something just for them, is a bigger gift than you can imagine.

Help someone during the holidays that you see is caring for someone, not because you have to, but because you can. Love others and treat them kindly! We need more kindness and appreciation for others in our lives. Just another family you need to know.