How to think, not what to think

How to think, not what to think

The Dalai Lama once said:

"A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity."

Many people believe this statement is correct, and I get why. We hear the idea that more transparency equals more trust all the time. But it's not true.

There are a lot of unhelpful (even dangerous) misconceptions about trust, power and influence. It feels like it’s becoming harder to know whom or what to believe. So, I'm starting a newsletter to unpack why we latch on to certain ideas, accept them to be true and how we can challenge existing ways of thinking.?

Introducing Rethink with Rachel! Join me in this fortnightly newsletter where each issue we'll unpack one big, complex idea.

Making complex things simple

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I’m drawn to content that challenges labels, reframes ideas and provides new ways of presenting information.

Most of my ideas start with sketches - so you'll see a lot of those!


Meet Circle and Square

I'd like to introduce you to two characters in particular that help me work through complex ideas - Square and Circle.

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'Square' represents a fixed, conventional or boxed in way of thinking. 'Circle' is the antagonist challenging square to rethink an important concept.


Which brings me back to the question of transparency…Have you heard this idea?

"The way to build more trust is to be more transparent."

For over a decade of researching trust, I thought the relationship between trust and transparency looked like this:

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I'm not alone. I've asked hundreds of people to draw how they see the relationship and 90 % of the time I get this. The same thing, over and over again.

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If we make things transparent, trust grows.?That's what we've been told. But it's not true, and an unhelpful way of thinking for our relationships and even society.

Why do we need transparency?

Think for a moment about relationships where you?need transparency:

  • Maybe you have a teenager, and you worry about where they're going and what they're doing? So, you download a tracker app to monitor their movements, whom they're messaging, what they're watching.?
  • Perhaps there is someone at work, and you are not quite sure what they're up to on their 'remote working' days? So, you ask to be cc'd on emails or to video conference into unnecessary meetings.
  • Maybe you're in a personal relationship and have suspicions they are lying about their whereabouts or what they're spending money on? So, you check their emails and messages or ask to see their bank statements.

What's the goal behind these actions? Transparency. But, would you describe them as 'trusting' relationships? Um, no.

We're really seeking control

When you challenge yourself to think about it, transparency does not equal more trust. In fact, if we need transparency, we're giving up on trust. Yes, transparency can be a useful tool, but it's not a magic cure for restoring trust. Transparency is a way of managing MISTRUST.

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Often, when we talk about transparency, our fears are rooted in DECEPTION. Our goal? More control.

When you don't trust someone, you try to maintain?control.?

Control over where they're going, what they're doing, whom they're seeing, what they're spending and so it goes on. Control means less risk. Control means less uncertainty and that means - less trust is required.

Have you ever had an experience of transparency in your personal or professional lives? How did it feel? What was the outcome? Please share your comments below.

Are you interested in more insights on transparency? Here's a short video .

Subscribe to Rethink with Rachel to receive my next newsletter unpacking why "building trust" is something we can all think differently about.

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You can also subscribe and listen to my podcast Trust Issues.

Nima Daneshmand

Data Engineer ?? Connecting the dots with code.

1 年

thanks for sharing Rachel

回复
Philipp Wintersberger

Univ.-Prof. of Intelligent User Interfaces

4 年

This is a very interesting thought that I had quite some time (as I research trust and technology). I came to the following conclusion: I believe your statements hold for interpersonal trust, but not necessarily for trust in automation because of the following reasons: trust in technology is said to be strongly connected to machine performance/capabilities. As we are all humans, we know?how humans "work". We might build trust in people since they (to some degree) are like us, have similar goals, and behavioral processes. I don't need control over my wife to trust her, as I know that she can reason about her actions. If she would betray my trust she would be well aware of the outcomes (such as decreased trustworthiness from my perspective), and with empathy, I might be able to understand some of the reasons. One could trust a kid to go to school alone, not only because it worked several times before but also because humans want to survive and will, if possible, avoid getting in dangerous situations. This does not apply to technology for (most) people. I have to trust the intentions of a designer I do not know (for example, what I believe is that social media companies are more interested in me clicking on their links and notifications, not on my wellbeing). I do not know how an automated vehicle comes to decisions regarding its actions, so transparency can help me to reason about its internal processes, which helps to build trust. Sure, this is about control as well, but due to the inherently different mechanisms, control and transparency are important. Would be interested in your thoughts on this.?

Simone A. (Chang) Mason Ph.D.

Author and Practioners of the Collaborative Process of Offender ReEntry. 2015 Graduate of the FBI Citizens Academy

4 年

Ms. Botsman, Respectfully... When you can find a way to use Circles Dots and any other shape to Draw an Illustration that convinces anyone that the Loss of 95 Million Dollars can be okay... Call Me.

回复
John Durrant

Enabling Human-Centric Software Engineering Teams

4 年

An interesting idea - Seeking 'transparency' is a way of managing mistrust rather than ensuring trust. Since coming across the idea of Radical Transparency via Ray Dalio's 'Principles' I've been banging the drum for transparency. Always good to have one's ideas challenged...

Alyse Hart

Energy Management, Speaker, Retreat Leader

4 年

Delicious dose of heart and brain food here. Thank you for the reframe. I’d add, if I don’t trust myself I can’t trust others. If I am uncomfortable with mystery or not knowing I can’t trust. The only control I have is to be still more often and use all my senses -/gut and heart. Then jog back to the logic to trust but verify. Congratulations on your newsletter, can’t wait to sign up.

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