Introducing "Notworking": A simple practice that will completely transform your productivity, happiness, and overall feeling of being a human

Table Topic #5: Notworking Breaks.

Hey lunch buddies,

How do you take care of yourself when your life revolves around your nine-to-five job? What's the secret to work/life balance? The answer might surprise you. (hint: it involves not working so flippin' much).

I know I said I'd do my best to keep these weekly newsletters going. Well, as you'll find out in the article below, sometimes you just need a break.

Your boy finally got the 'CRON. My first bout with Covid, and my whole family got it. So we've been balancing gatorade, chicken soup, quarantines, and about a month of no daycare. ??

Regardless, I felt guilty for keeping my Linkedin newsletter subscribers waiting. I know that all 3,321 of you have been waiting with bated breath (wow. who are you people? At least leave me a quick comment that you are alive and kicking in 2022. If we haven't met - let's fix that. Maybe throw me an emoji (the digital version of the "hallway head nod" we'll get into below)

It hasn't been so bad. I didn't get a lot of "work work" done. But I got a lot of time to clear my head.

And with a clearer head, I write to you now about the importance of just that- "Notworking". Hope you enjoy. Let me know if you do! (If you hate it, doubly so. Don't let me run around with a booger on my nose).

Keep on breakin' in the free world,

Alex Abell

CEO/Founder & Lunch Break Enforcer @ Lunchpool

Notworking: A simple practice that will completely transform your productivity, happiness, and overall feeling of being a human

It was as usual that at the start of the workweek, I would bustle in and ask my co-workers how their weekend went. We'd all pleasantly explain a few tidbits of our nonworking life. Small details that we'd forget about as soon as we heard them. A brief moment in time before getting down to business. Getting to work.

This triviality had become some tedious world-wide game. It was a ruse. I could feel it in the depths of my soul. It was hopeless. The exchange of weekend stories wasn't about to change what too often seemed like days of boredom shared for 7-9 hours before I got on with my life again.

I needed a break.

Remember buildings? Water coolers? Break rooms? Remember the casual hallway head nod?

Before the entire working world went remote, there was a rising trend in the office- the casual hallway head nod.

I worked roles in all kinds of corporate environments. From techy places like a digital marketing agency supporting Verizon Wireless to more traditional firms like Ashley Furniture's eCommerce team. No matter where I went, the nod seemed to be a universal phenomenon.

the casual hallway head nod.

Each day, colleagues and coworkers would pass each other by, catching each others' attention and returning it with a quick head nod.

It seemed a friendly-enough gesture of social intention. There wasn't anything necessarily wrong with it.

It just wasn't enough.

The brief physical greeting was harmless, for sure. But to me, it seemed almost like a cry for help.

It was like saying, "I see you there, being all human." and adding, "but I'm real busy. Gotta keep the machine alive!"

More than just a nod- a silent scream of desired humanity

That simple and innocent motion was so packed full of emotion and feeling. On the one hand, it's an acknowledgment that you've seen someone else. You recognize that there is another human being outside yourself. No matter if you were given a casual hallway head nod accompanied by a smile- or the occasional eye roll head nod that always seemed to follow a ridiculous meeting that could have been an email. In either case, there was a clear message, "I see you."

a big ol' buttload of hidden meaning and metaphorical disconnection

But look a little deeper.

The truth behind the head nod

I'd argue that there was a big ol' buttload of hidden meaning and metaphorical disconnection packed under the simple expression of dual humanship.

Think about it.

I am pretty sure that there was also at least a tinge of, "I wish I could know you more."

Or at the very least, an "I wonder if you are someone that I'd enjoy knowing more about?"

But often it would get left at that point.

The surface.

It's even worse now.

Surface-level relationships: the single-ply toilet paper of social connectedness

The dreaded corporate surface-level relationship where you know more about a person's email filing system than you do about their hopes and dreams.

It's the facebook-doom-scroll of the IRL office. You sit near Kathy, and by observation, you know that she likes cats, has a kid (from the framed picture on her desk), and she is really concerned about smelling good (from the explosion of perfume wafting your way from her desk).

And this was when we were all PHYSICALLY NEAR one another. Add a virtual workforce environment to the mix and you may never get to connect with a mutually employed human being ever again if you aren't careful. The lunch room is now your kitchen.

Ok - We get it, people aren't connecting. What's your point?

It's so easy to talk about work all the time, and never allow for more than superficial discussions about our favorite topics, hopes, and interests with friends and family members.

You have to put in some effort. In order to go much further than occasionally hearing what happened when you weren't working, it’s important to be deliberate about how you spend your time. You have to decide, here and now, how committed you'll be about getting to actually know the people around you.

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

My secret weapon for making the modern age more enjoyable and less stressful is to take advantage of what I call "Notworking Breaks".

Notworking Breaks are periods of time during the workday when you get together a colleague or professional acquaintance, but you're not allowed to talk about work. They provide an opportunity to get to know someone personally, which often results in better work.

So, tell me about you. The real one.

No talking about TPS Reports. No complaining about your boss's death breath. No trying to figure out who brought the word "cadence" into the company, lamenting about all the ridiculous corporate jargon the executive team won't stop overusing.

You gotta "notwork". Talk about which TV series you watched, what Jill said on Twitter, or why you're thinking of throwing all your belongings and ditching society forever. You can literally talk about anything. As long as it doesn't have a goal or an agenda related to the work you've been banging out.

Notworking Breaks are periods of time during the workday when you get together a colleague or professional acquaintance

How I started taking "notworking breaks" and stopped burning out

Before I started my company, I was your typical cubicle-dweller. I wanted to do more than sit at a desk non-stop and call it a job. I started "No Work Fridays". It was a firm decision that I'd never eat inside the building on Fridays. (A decision that's translated surprisingly well into my new virtual reality. Pun intended).

For me, leaving the office for lunch increased the chance that I'd get real, meaty socialization. The kind that is the direct opposite of the friendly yet dreary head nod we discussed earlier. Conversations with other people where you leave feeling like you know someone more deeply. Like you understand your humanity a bit more because of the empathy you felt in a brief interaction with another human.

It doesn't even have to be that profound of a conversation. You talk about movies you watched. You talk about the argument you had with your significant other. You hear your lunchtime companion explain why they think people who don't clear the microwave timer after opening it early are twice-removed from Satan.

The important thing is that you're not working

These breaks had a great impact on me because they allowed time for bonding with someone who wasn't in my industry or a coworker. It helps to have someone to share personal thoughts about trivial things. The kind of brief interactions that spark curious playful discussion.

These breaks can sometimes even lead to those deep sessions where you're exchanging advice on insecurities in your professional life, bonding over some shared sentiment of corporate hopelessness, or relishing in one another's successes. (hopefully more of the latter)

I often found that the discussion would meander into a particularly surprising or insightful place. Both me and my lunch mate would walk away feeling invigorated and inspired.

But... what about all the work ?

It will get done. And there will always be too much to do.

In the office, many actions are performed specifically to become a more appreciated colleague. We want to get the raise. We want to earn a promotion and get the "President's Club Crystal Plaque" for our desk. If not careful, we can often lose sight of what is important for actually differentiating ourselves.

We often underestimate how crucial it is for us not to forget about the aspects of our personal lives, especially those that contribute to building social capital (A concept I'll dive into next week. Defined as the "development of relationships that help contribute to a more efficient production of goods and services", Social capital can make or break businesses.)

There's an assumption that if you value your hobbies, it's taking away from your work performance. Time on the job should be time doing the job. Notworking breaks can be seem by many employers and middle managers as an unnecessary and inconvenient blip in one of their team members' productivity.

But personally I feel that these notworking breaks are important long term career choices and will pay off in the form of stronger relationships with coworkers as well as networking opportunities and professional contacts.

Just do it- take a "Notworking Break" and thank me later.

Human connection. We need it. That's why I'd like to encourage everyone to take advantage of "Notworking Breaks". It can be lunch, coffee, or just a break from your desk. But the key is that you're not allowed to talk about work. You're not allowed to go into the discussion with an agenda.

I know it might seem scary at first, but think about all of the relationships you could build with people outside of your work bubble. You never know where those relationships may lead. And if you're really lucky, maybe one day you'll have the opportunity to help them out in their career as well."

Have you tried taking a notworking break? Curious about it? Think its a terrible idea? Please share your experiences below or send me a message! I'd love to hear about it!

This has been Volume 1, Issue 5 of Your Weekly Break to Connect with Alex Abell. Thanks for reading! Take a "notworking break" this week. Thank me later.