Intimacy

Meera was sitting pensive, a day before Deepawali evening. She just had had an argument with Sameer, her husband for last twenty five years. They were both successful finance professionals making millions. They had a beautiful four thousand square feet apartment in the prime location of Mumbai. That had all that a successful professional can have. Besides they had two lovely children in their twenties building their careers and own lives. Yet, Meera was having a nagging feeling of something deep and satisfying missing.

Her relationship with Sameer was not exactly a roller coaster but had its ups and downs. They were getting along well but arguments were getting longer with age rather than reducing. The real intimacy was missing between them.

Yes, this was it. She never felt fully understood by him. She felt her feelings were not acknowledged or validated. Their intellect, instead of helping them resolve conflicts was actually working otherwise. In fact sharpness of intellect was used to build arguments in defence rather than in understanding. It was a great shield to not let each one touch the innermost self. She felt really suffocated, hurt and angry today when, Sameer instead of acknowledging her sense of vulnerability gave her a lecture on how to be strong.

While she was struggling with all this, the door bell rang.

It was Puneet at the door, with Diwali gift in his hands.

“What a pleasant surprise, Puneet!” Meera was totally taken aback to see him at her door. He was her colleague, heading Human Resources Department. It was for the first time that he had visited her at her home and that too unannounced.

“Yes, I decided to let you know how much I like you on this beautiful day of Deepawali,” Puneet said in his characteristic frank style. Meera was again pleasantly jolted a bit.?

Pleasantly, because she shared an affectionate bond with Puneet. Whenever she had relationship issues with anybody in the office, she would use him as a sounding board. Most important of all, he would listen patiently and instead of advising would give a feeling of understanding. That was healing enough for her to find her own solutions.

Perhaps deep down she was expecting the same from Sameer too, but she never got it in her most ‘intimate’ relationship. There was emptiness at home which she was perhaps getting a chance to fulfill in her warm and affectionate relationship with Puneet at office. She was being drawn to him and her affection was beautifully reciprocated by Puneet.

After usual pleasantries and casual conversation for a while, Meera shifted the gear and asked Puneet, “I feel so suffocated with these people here at home, meaning Sameer and my son Saptak. They just do not understand what is happening to me. It is so painful and suffocating.” There was deep anguish and pain in her voice.

“I know because I also have experienced and continue to experience the same from my parents too. I think this pain is a constant companion of people with deeper understanding like you, Meera.”

“How do you deal with it?” Meera was curious to know and at the same time was feeling relieved that someone understands.

“I use this pain to deepen my understanding that many people will never have the understanding and skill to understand me, and more so as I grow in my understanding. So this pain gets converted into compassion for them.”

This lit up Meera’s heart. Her anguish was transformed into joy of finding the way out of this long standing pain in her life. For the frist time someone had acknowledged and validated this pain of her. This pain was part of her life for a very long time. She was the brightest student and very few people really understood what she felt even as a child.

“There is magic in resonating the feelings of friends, Meera.” Said Puneet.

Meera felt a deep love for Puneet and it was oozing out of her eyes, no, actually entire being.

“The joy and love in your being for me is the greatest gift right now God is bestowing on me. And this is the true reward, I believe, of my lifelong devotion for self growth and learning, you know!” Puneet acknowledged her as well expressed his feeling of gratitude.

“I believe you are in a noble profession. Your life and work are totally integrated. Unlike us Finance Professionals, whose work is actually taking us away from our real being, Punnet.” Said Meera.

“It’s your choice Meera. It’s never too late to integrate. But I personally feel you are growing up well and not disintegrated at all.” Puneet reassured her.

Meera was feeling very warm and loved and so was Puneet.

It was time for Puneet to go, he still had to visit few more friends today to distribute the gifts. He stood up to go. It was hard for Meera to let him go.

“Why don’t you spend some more time and have lunch with us?” insisted Meera.

“ I too do not wish to part from you, Meera, but I have to reach back by 3pm after meeting all the friends.” Puneet’s??tone was sad too.

Yes, lovers have to part, for life must go on!

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#intimacy #relationship #relationships