Interview with The Sun via Sharon Hendry

1. Can you reflect on The Sun on Sunday campaign from the beginning and talk about the highlights? The visit to the Commons, standing on the terrace with another fight ahead? Overcoming your fears and health issues to make the journey that day?

Working with ' The Sun' and obviously, your good self (Sharon Hendry) has brought about a leap of faith for me.

Getting heard is immense when it comes to campaigning. Action is what we need in order to make great changes and raise awareness of the depths of this subject.

I never thought my voice could hold such power. Having the opportunity to work alongside some great politicians like Stella Creasy and Jess Phillips, gives me hope. 

It isn't easy for me to travel alone knowing my ex is out there somewhere. The fear of being snatched off the street, tortured, raped and murdered is in my mind when I leave the house alone to go to conferences etc. So dealing with the nerves from that is a huge hurdle. Also, my health still to this day stops me in my tracks. Past tortures and ongoing issues related to my ex are a daily battle. 

2. What will this new funding pledge mean to women who walk in the shoes you once walked in? What will it mean for their kids?

Funding is vital, lives will be snatched if there's nowhere to go to that is safe. My heart goes out to all those suffering at the hands of a perpetrator. Children have to live through experiences that affect them for life. Escaping the abuser brings about a confidence that would otherwise be shattered. Living with a terrorist, trying everything in your power to stay alive is draining, soul destroying and terrifying. Refuges are safe havens, a place to rest, recoup, gather strength, sleep, eat and get support. This structured network support system is vital for survival. 

3. Where are you at right now in terms of your own health/ family/ thoughts/ reflections? You have become a grandmother for eg? Can you say more about that?

If you had have asked me about the future in 2002 I thought there wasn't going to be one. The system let us down so many times I believed that he would escape prison or have me and my children killed.

I am now a Grandma, the joy of holding my granddaughter that first time was beyond overwhelming. So many emotions, soo much love. It did remind me of the first time I held Daniel to my chest. That complete unconditional love, the bond, such a precious gift. I have cried many tears over the years, but my tears recently are of joy now are a place I want to be to my last days. I am so proud of all my children and our love is eternal.

4. Can you say a bit about the counselling you do with survivors? Is it online? What are the issues you are hearing about? Are they the same as ever or changing/worsening due to increased poverty/ housing problems etc?

I still get people asking me for help, guidance support and care. This subject is ongoing, it will be until the government make big changes in the laws on sentencing. We need a system that deters these crimes. Soo many perpetrators get away with rapes, beatings, coercive control ....even murder. It truly breaks my heart with each story, each new life suffering. I get emails, phone calls and I often get stopped in the street. I have travelled to faraway countries and ended up counselling people on holiday. I was in hospital on Saturday and hugged a woman who was crying, she told me of her struggles whilst we sat in the waiting area before my operation. I direct a lot of victims to Womens Aid. People recognise me, some ask how I am, others need help and a few ask how they can help raise awareness and funds. The subject matter has increased in the type of violence, which I relate to the gaming industry and films. A lot of cases where children have been removed from mothers because of how clever the perpetrator had broken the victim down to give in to the system. Demanding victims take their children to visit the abuser is shocking and in effect puts the childrens lives at risk. A lot of abusers play mental games, it's all about winning, being in charge, on top. They don't care about the children, its about power games. I have heard too many stories of this over the last year. Social services and the courts need training on the manipulation that is used. Parts of our country have become 3rd world. How our government has let this happen is not only shocking, it's unacceptable.

I do believe our courts are letting down women and children daily, where it can be prevented. Sentencing needs to reflect repentance, not allow it to continue. We need to educate all the sectors involved in order to prevent murders and stop abusers repeating crimes over and over. The laws need reviewing and they need to change with the evergrowing flow of these crimes. 

If it stays the same, nothing will change for the better and crime will increase in its severity. So, I ask why? Why can we not change the laws to deter these crimes?

5. What needs to happen next? Will you keep up the fight?

I want the government to wake up to the seriousness of domestic violence, it isn't just a black eye. Countless victims are being tortured daily because no one stops their abusers.

 I want victims to speak out and get out..... because tomorrows are not promised.

I want the laws changed to make sense and put human worth at the top of the agenda.

We have to send out a message to the world that we will not tolerate violence of any kind.

We need a system that works, that communicates, that understands and cares.

The amount spent on the aftermath of this violence is huge. So when we are told there's no money in the pot for refuges it upsets me.

The ridiculous amounts of money spent on space exploration and arms for wars are proof that there is money out there.

Surviving so far, my life now holds a burning passion, a purpose to create a place safe for women and children.

'The Sun' show me that they care, and for this, I am humbled. 

Speaking out for change and for funding is something that we must continue to push.

If you have lost a family member to domestic violence you know of the devastation it causes.

It could happen to you ....because there's no class, gender or age that escapes this dis-ease.

We need to pull together as a caring human race to support each other and put an end to domestic violence.