Women Self-Defense and Freedom from Violence. Interview with Sofia Muniz
A woman has a right to defend her physical safety in any way, including physical harm to the aggressor.?
A woman has a right to leave freely any relationship, community, organization, or country that causes any type of violence to her or restricts her rights to protect herself.
A woman has no obligation to sacrifice her safety and the safety of her kids because of social norms and expectations.
We, as humanity, have an obligation to create conditions for women to preserve their rights.?
According to the latest statistics data , in 2023, there were reported around 284,000 cases of domestic violence in Mexico, including over 37,000 cases in Mexico City…
I’m very data-oriented, and I’m sure that statistics and numbers help us understand the issues we want to find a solution for. But behind those numbers are real women and kids, and some of them are already dead. Because a boundary for an aggressor between domestic violence and femicide is very fragile, especially when alcohol, drugs, and access to a weapon are involved. You can read more in this article ?about femicide statistics. And the statistics don’t include women who didn’t report abuse if they were too scared. That means we don’t know the actual number of victims. So, let’s have an honest talk about domestic violence.?
Domestic violence is not something that happens only in families with low income or lack of education. Aggressors with high social status and financial resources hide their abuse of women even better, as they use connections and money to keep women silent in fear and obedient to their will. Women who were brave enough to go against such men know how it feels to be tracked, threatened, including physical injuries or death, and pressed by authority in favor of an aggressor.
I’m not going to dig into the cause of abusers’ behavior by analyzing why men abuse women. If you are curious,? Chuck Derry , a co-founder of Gender Violence Institute, shared in his article how abusive men describe the benefits of violence . Based on my experience, whatever trauma or personality disorder underlies an abuser's behavior, there’s only one cause we should focus on to intervene in abuse - because he can. That’s it. Abusers do what they do because they can do it physically, financially, morally, and legally. So let’s change it.?
My story of domestic violence started when I was born. At that time, in the 90s, my father had served in the police as a field agent in a criminal department since I was born. Before that, he served in the Marines Corpus of the Soviet Union and participated in several war conflicts in Africa in the 80s. He had professional skills to kill, an alcohol addiction, and hatred for his life and us, his family. His police power and social status cut us off from getting any help. And domestic violence wasn’t a criminal act at that time. All neighbors feared him, and no one did anything to save us.?
Adrenaline in my blood was a frequent guest during my childhood. I didn’t see a way out, living in fear daily. Not to get into details about what he did, I just say, as a kid, I saw too much blood on the walls of the apartment where I grew up, and I can say that rape in marriage is real…?
At 13, I realized it was better to die rather than live in fear. And if death doesn’t bother me anymore, I should at least try to kill my father. And that’s how I met a beast inside me. I waited for my 14th birthday, so if I kill him - I go to jail, not my mom, as criminal responsibility in Ukraine starts from this age.?
Eventually, I physically fought with my father a couple of times, standing up for my mom and my brother. Power imbalance changed, and he backed off. No one was killed, but these fights changed everything for all of us. Later, we moved out, and my mom divorced. We got a chance to have a safe life. But trauma doesn’t disappear when violence is stopped. It’s just the beginning of a long way of healing.?
It took me six years of psychotherapy to heal my trauma and years of sports and marital art practice to discipline my beast, transforming it into a conscious warrior. My father, on his side, went through treatment for alcohol addiction and confronted his anger issues and war PTSD, so I had a chance for another relationship with him, built not on fear. And it’s so rare when it happens like this.?
But my story wasn’t the end for me to deal with domestic violence. Later, in my 20s, I intervened in many situations where women were physically attacked by their partners, and among them were men officially diagnosed with mental disorders and men with criminal records. Fighting a system is tough and even more challenging to change over time. But one thing we can do today is intervene and support women who are in danger.?
That’s why I’m so glad to introduce you to an interview with Sofia Muniz, a karate instructor and author who helps women in Mexico City who face domestic violence. She leads a program called FEMEM and released her book in Spanish, “Conscious metamorphosis: The awakening of a warrior.” ?
When I talked to Sofia for the first time, I wanted to understand domestic violence here in Mexico. She described it with one word — machismo. Based on?Machismo literature review ?done by the Rochester Institute of Technology, we have the following explanation of this definition:
“In Latin American culture, machismo is a social behavior pattern in which the Latino male exhibits an overbearing attitude to anyone in a position he perceives as inferior to his, demanding complete subservience.”
I recommend reading research called?“Intimate Partner Violence in Mexico” ?(2018) to understand better what we are dealing with. And it’s time to talk about solutions — read our interview with Sofia Muniz below about helping women in her FEMEM program.? ?
Meet Sofia Muniz?
Sofía, thank you for participating in our interview. Can you start by telling us a bit about yourself and your background?
Sofia:?Thank you. I am so grateful for this invitation. I am also a Lawyer, Businesswoman, Writer, and Lecturer. My educational background is a Bachelor of Business Administration. In addition, I am a 2nd Dan black belt, International competitor, Instructor, and Judge within my Japan Karate Association. I choose the challenges because I can achieve my goals and continue to rebuild my identity since, according to my philosophy, evolution is fundamental in human beings, and the best way to do it is with a correct identity and my best version. I am empathetic, respectful, and loving of life and the human being. I have recently been nominated for the Ibero-American Prize for Literature “Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz” 2024.
What inspired you to become a karate instructor and to focus on helping women who have experienced domestic violence?
Sofia:?Firstly, since I was 10, I have been practicing sports, starting with sprints athletics and later basketball for 23 years. When I was 33 years old, I started karate, thanks to the fact that my son practiced it. I started to train karate just as a way to continue my physical activity. Little by little, I began to understand their philosophy, so I adopted and adapted the code of conduct to my life called “Dojo Kun.”??
There are 5 principles, which I will briefly mention:
??These 5 principles have been my standard and my lifestyle because I discovered that if I could change and reconstruct my identity, create a method of comprehensive well-being, and write a book, other women can get out of situations of domestic violence. After all, I was violated, too, and thanks to this philosophy, I have had a change, a positive transformation. I know what it feels like to be violated, and I am not referring only to the physical aspect because the emotional and mental aspect is more difficult to heal.
Story of Personal Journey Discovering Her Mission?
Can you share personal experiences that influenced your journey and mission?
Sofia: The story that made me rebuild my identity and then want to help women who are going through or went through a similar situation is the following:
For 11 years, I lived with an alcoholic and narcissistic man who made me feel insecure, with fears and had very low self-esteem. I literally lived a wrong identity. Of course, I allowed it to such a degree that he even made me go against my own principles and that I was completely controlled and dominated by this man. For a long time, I lived with a cognitive dissociation, and that confusion in my brain led me to be emotionally overweight for almost half of my life.
How did these experiences shape your vision for empowering women through martial arts?
Sofia:?When I began to see that the code of conduct of my martial art helped me (and continues to help me) to regain my confidence, security, and self-esteem, to have an identity according to what I want, and, most importantly, to have a full lifestyle, always looking for my best version.
Watch the video review about Sofia's karate classes from her student.
How Sofia Helps Women Today
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Can you describe your work as a karate instructor and how you help women in domestic violence situations?
Sofia:?The practice of karate is integral. That is, it not only gives you physical health, but it also gives you mental and spiritual health, which you can use to achieve a balance in your emotions and your personal relationships with all people. For these reasons, I teach the physical part of self-defense and form a women′s support group where they feel belonging, acceptance, freedom, and not being judged.
How do you integrate the philosophy of Calm Warrior into your training sessions?
Sofia:?The training sessions are face-to-face, and another session is via Zoom, where we openly “Talk” about real cases that women are going through, following the FEMEM method. Here, we have 3 fundamental pillars, and they are:?
Your book "Metamorfosis Consciente" ?delves into the FEMEM philosophy. Can you explain what FEMEM stands for and how it helps women?
Sofia:?FEMEM (Acrostic) comprehensive health wellness program, where:
“F” is for Physical (in Spanish física),?
“E” for emotional,?
“M” for mental,?
“E” for spiritual (in Spanish espiritual),?
“M” is for moral.?
Because emotional and mental health are anchored to physical health, spiritual and moral health rises with physical health.
Watch the video review about Sofia's FEMEM program from her student.
What inspired you to write this book, and what do you hope readers will take away
from it?
Sofia:?At first, it was just to fulfill the mentorship process because I did not know exactly what to write about. Then I remembered my story with the narcissist and how I felt back then, and the magic appeared. I began to become passionate in such a way that today, I can say that my purpose in life is to help women who secretly struggle to recover their essence, their feminine power, confidence, and self-confidence.
I expect my readers to achieve that integral well-being, rebuild their identities as they wish, and build their lifestyles. Be an inspiration for your transformation or “Metamorphosis.”
How can your book help women regain their self-esteem and power after experiencing domestic violence?
Sofia:?It is not only my book because it is a guide to the FEMEM program. If I manage to heal myself and regain my self-esteem, they can also achieve it. There are three secrets to becoming a SOMURAi-Warrior in Calm.
Watch the video review of Sofia's book from her reader.
Time To Act. What You Can Do
How can others collaborate with you on this important topic of domestic violence?
Sofia:?Women can collaborate, sharing their testimonies in conferences, workshops, or talks aimed at communities or groups of women who suffer precisely this type of violence and forming a support network.
Men can disseminate information to raise awareness among women of their rights and that they have social and legal tools to eradicate this violence through campaigns throughout the country. At the same time, they reinforce and exalt the principles and values of women, helping to raise their self-esteem.
What are some ways people can support your work and initiatives?
Sofia:?Actively collaborating in the program, contributing their gifts and talents so that a movement with the essence of the M8 (Women′s International) is carried out. And why not? Let′s make the World Movement SOMURAi-Guerreras en Calma.
Are there opportunities for businesses or organizations to partner with you in your mission?
Sofia:?Absolutely! I am always open to collaborating with companies and organizations that share our vision and values. I am a firm believer in the power of synergy and how strategic partnerships can drive our collective impact. Together, we can create innovative and sustainable initiatives that not only benefit our respective organizations but also generate significant value for our communities. I am excited to explore how we can join forces to achieve common goals and build a more prosperous and equitable future.
Final Message From Sofia
Do you have any final thoughts or messages you'd like to share with our readers?
Sofia:?I am very grateful for reading you. Thank you for believing in yourselves. Whatever your activity or life purpose, do it with love and passion and always add value to others. Consciousness in Motion is an invitation to be fully present and aware in your 24 hours, and remember to feel positive and think constructively about yourself.
Where can people find more information about your book and work?
Sofia:?For now, I am only on my social networks:
Facebook - SOMURAi/SomuraDise?o
Instagram and TikTok - SomuraKarate
You can find my book at?Was Editorial or on Amazon
To know more about my work, watch my latest video interview (in Spanish) - “3 Secrets Being a SAMURAI” ?- where I share more about the FEMEM program.?
If you know someone you want to share this information with, please do so today. I truly believe that personal responsibility and action shape the world we want to live in. And if you want to create a world where women are safe, and their rights are preserved, we’re on the same page. Let’s put our efforts together!??
#WomensRights, #SelfDefense, #DomesticViolence, #EndViolence, #WomensSafety, #EmpowerWomen, #StopAbuse, #FemicideAwareness, #SupportSurvivors, #FEMEMProgram
CWO ? Rewriting the rhetoric.
4 个月This phrase is going to need a social overhaul for us all to really GET this: "A woman has no obligation to sacrifice her safety and the safety of her kids because of social norms and expectations." And thank you for introducing us to Conscious metamorphosis" as well as Sofía!