Interview Experiences of a Muslim Woman

From Fortune 500 to small companies and even an all-female company, I've experienced very awkward and sometimes terrible starts to interviews because of the way I dress (mainly because of the headscarf) and because I do not shake hands with men. This was the case when I was interviewing right out of college in 2009 and since then when I've looked for a career change. 

In retrospect, I now find some of the responses a bit silly. How can something so harmless cause so much havoc in the minds of people?  

While most hiring managers continued onto the interviews, a few just cut them short. I must note that I don’t believe these actions are a reflection of these companies, after all they all passed my “cultural diversity and acceptance test”. Instead, what I want to convey is that people are ultimately making the hiring decisions and sometimes they let their biases chime in when they meet someone like me. I've been described as having emotional intelligence, I know how to behave around different people from Web Designers to VP’s and certainly in different situations. So, I politely engaged in the conversation with those who tried to continue onto the interview.

I know the world keeps talking about the strides that we've made about giving women opportunities in the workplace, especially women helping other women. This is why, my experience at what is commonly labeled as an all-women company shocked me above all others.

I knew about the culture and I was ready to embrace the atmosphere of women’s power and office fun – not so much the cute mini dresses - but as the female staffing manager and I sat at the table she asked me with a disapproving tone, “You didn't research the company culture before the interview was scheduled, did you?” I remember the shock. I’m sure I had a blank stare on my face, but somehow I managed to say, “Yes, I did.” After I reassured her that I had, we went onto the discussion about the role and my experience. As if that was not enough, I knew the hiring manager happened to be one of the only men in the company. He quickly extended his hand as we walked into his office and I politely said, “I’m sorry, I don’t shake hands with men, but I’m so glad to meet you.” Yes, it was awkward despite my previous rehearsals. As with every similar experience then and now, some self-doubt creeps in. It goes something like this, “this is not going to go very well.” Thankfully he warmed up when I mentioned that I’m from Mexico and that’s how I know Spanish – his wife is from Mexico.

With such experiences, I've confirmed that my hijab and my conviction to avoid shaking hands with men have not been the problem. People have seen what they wanted to see and made up their mind before the conversation started. As many working women brought up issues of inequality in the workplace, I find the need to bring up this issue because young Muslim girls that share my convictions will be joining the workforce and will not be going anywhere.

Thankfully, not all experiences have been bad, many have been great. Seth Mohs, the AT&T manager who hired me on gave me one of the most simple and polite responses I've gotten after I graciously declined to shake his hand...a smile and a little laugh as he said “No problem, this way.” 

So how can these companies that passed my “cultural diversity and acceptance test” keep people in the hiring process from giving such responses to Muslim women (and men since they should not be shaking hands with women)?

1. Provide additional training about diversity and specific best practices for groups like this. 
2. Stick to a list of hiring criteria. Shelley Correll, Professor of Sociology at Stanford University has an insightful video titled Creating a Level Playing Field featured on LeanIn.org on how to avoid letting biases creep in.

Do you have similar experiences based on your religious/cultural convictions? If, so how did you handle them?

Is there something else that can be done to mitigate this?