An interview with Ellena Pearson

For the second interview in the You Inspire Me series, I caught up with Ellena Pearson, barrister at KBG Chambers, on a Zoom video call. Ellena's single-minded determination has taken her from paralegal to barrister, despite a few setbacks and the dreaded imposter syndrome. Not only did Ellena refuse to listen when people told her she should choose an easier career; she used it as fuel to drive her career further.

We met when you were a paralegal at Sky. You were in the process of doing the Bar course, so the job as paralegal was part of a journey to becoming a barrister. For how long did you have to study, while working full time?

Two years in total. The Bar course is a lot of money, and I paid it off as I was working. I had to attend class one weekend – Saturday and Sunday - a month for two years. Sky was really good because they gave me study leave as well. I had to do a lot of reading to prep for the weekends.

How did you juggle work and studying?

 I remember when I finished the Bar course and I went back to working nine to five, I thought “Wow, how did I go home and then study in the evenings?” But I just did it! I set aside a few evenings a week to study. I got home, had dinner and then just studied from 7 PM to about 9 PM.

So it became a habit. And that's why you can't ever remember how you managed to do it because it wasn't something you thought about every evening – it was just your life.

Yes, that is exactly it. It's funny, isn't it? Sometimes I thought “Oh, I can’t be bothered to do it”, but as soon as I got into my study area, and started, I found I got really into it and three hours have gone by without even noticing.

I think you really wanted to do it because you had the end goal in mind and knew that studying was just a stepping stone in the bigger plan. It must have kept you motived. If someone is trying to study something, but they're not really convinced that this is for them, then coming into a habit would be more difficult.

Oh yeah, definitely, and especially being in an office job nine to five I just knew I didn't want to do that. Although I liked being a paralegal, and Sky was a great place to work with great perks, I knew I didn't really want to be a paralegal forever. The Bar course cost about ￡17,000. So, I had invested in doing it. I thought if I'm going to do it, I have to really do it.

This reminds me of a quote by Abraham Lincoln “If you are absolutely determined to make a lawyer of yourself the thing is more than half done already”. I think that's so true. If you are motivated, you're going to do it. That’s half the battle won.

Oh, I love that quote! The intent, the passion, the drive really is half of any “thing”. So once you finished the studies and was called to the Bar, how did you manage the transition from paralegal to barrister? Did it require a change of mindsets?

Yes, it did. When you’re employed as a paralegal or PA, you have a line-manager or supervisor whom you can ask the opinion of, or they can sign something off before you go and do something. But as a barrister, I'm self-employed. Although I'm attached to a Chambers, we're all our own boss, and the buck stops with you. There's no one to check something with. Of course, I know I could call any of them if I'm really stuck to check my understanding but ultimately you can't stand in Court and think “Oh I’ll just check that with someone”. I had to change my thinking and trust myself. I had to come to a stage where I just had to go with it - measure twice and cut once - and then trust myself and go with it. I've realised that you can ask two barristers for advice on the same thing and they’d both give a different opinion. You can argue the point in different ways. I had to learn to just go along with what I think and get in the mindset of trusting myself. I think that's the mindset transition from paralegal to barrister.

I can totally see that you needed to make that mindset change. Because suddenly there is no safety net anymore. You can no longer say “Oh, that person told me to do it this way or that way”. That's a mighty leap to have to make. I'm assuming the more you do it, the more you learn to trust yourself? 

Yes, definitely. Sometimes I still doubt myself. I can overthink, but then I stop myself and say well, I’ve gone through all the papers and formed a view and now I have to just trust myself.

Another thing that I realised is that it's okay to lose a case, you don't have to win every time. I remember the first week on my feet. I won the first two cases and then I lost one. I was really upset but actually I soon learnt it’s okay to lose. Sometimes there’s only so much you can do for a case!

And then there’s the imposter syndrome which I swear everyone gets whatever job you have. It’s real. I read an article where even Baroness Hale said her greatest fear was the “fear of being found out”.

That makes sense because if you want to be successful, you're driven, you're always trying to be better and to be your best, so you're always thinking could I have done it better? Was I good enough? Do you have any self-care practice that you do when you’ve had a disappointment like losing a case or when you notice you’ve been too hard on yourself?

I talk to other people about it. It helps me put things in perspective. Or I have a large glass of wine. I also set aside time to exercise. That really helps. If you are feeling tired or feeling down about something, or just to clear your head, go for a run or do a Joe Wicks workout.

I remember from the Sky days you were fond of exercising. And I remember thinking that you had such a healthy way of dealing with the stresses. It’s ironic that the busier we are, the more we need to set time aside for exercise. When you think you don't have the time, that’s exactly when you need to make the time.

Yes, exactly. Something else that helps me is cleaning. I discovered Mrs Hinch during lockdown! Writing a to-do list of all the jobs you want to do and ticking it off as you go really helps. I get so much joy from seeing washing on the line drying in nice weather! I have Mrs Hinch “The Little Book of Lists” and her book of cleaning tips. On the cover, it says "All the best cleaning tips to shine your sink and soothe your soul." During the lockdown quiet times, I even cleaned the radiators.

Oh, I agree that cleaning soothes the soul. So apart from your obsession with Mrs Hinch, what would people be surprised to know about you?

I don’t think it’s surprising as such, but I love Parkrun. Just before lockdown, I was coming up to my 100th Parkrun. I’ve done 90. I’ve also volunteered at Parkrun. It's so lovely for people to come together to run, but then of course, lockdown happened. I've kept it up on my own. I've done a 5K every week, but it's not the same. It’s weird because when you're at Parkrun, you're not talking to anyone - I’m still running with my headphones in – yet you feel part of a team and it makes you want to run faster and get your Personal Best time.

And what are your plans for the future?

 I love doing what I do, so I'll just continue doing that and maybe eventually be a Judge.

That’s a fantastic goal to have! I don’t doubt for one second that you are capable of becoming a judge. So tell me, did you always want to be a barrister?

I think I just fell into the law really. No-one in my family are lawyers or do anything related to law. I went to a local comprehensive in Dorset and stayed on to do A-levels. It seemed like quite a lot of my classmates were going to university and I just thought, okay, maybe I should go as well. So, if I was going to Uni, I'd want to do something that you can only study at university, and I thought okay I'll do law then. I remember a couple of people saying, “You have to be really clever to study law. Are you sure you can be a lawyer? You're quite blonde and ditzy.” They said that and I still thought I can do it. It’s like the film Legally Blonde. I watched that, and I thought I’m going to be Elle Woods!

I actually really loved studying the law. And I really enjoyed the degree. After my four-year degree, you then have to do the next stage, which is the LPC or the Bar course. By that stage, I had some work experience shadowing barristers and shadowing solicitors. It seemed more fun and a bit more me to be a barrister. Then the same thing happened where people said "You really have to be quite clever to be a barrister. Surely you should go down the solicitor route. It’s not as competitive.” And I thought, "No, I'm going to do it. I want to be a barrister!".

I loved the Bar course. I was called to the Bar in 2015. When you’re called, you are a barrister, but you're not qualified yet. You then have to get pupillage, and you generally have five years to get one. If you don’t get pupillage in 5 years, you pretty much have to do the Bar course again. It's a long process, and everyone said I should qualify as a solicitor using my paralegal experience. And I thought "No! I’m still going." I'd rather try and fail, than regret not even trying.

I had to do two rounds of pupillage applications because I missed one of the deadlines. I really messed up there, but in hindsight, I think that was actually a blessing because those pupillages wouldn’t have been right for me. They were predominantly in family and criminal areas of law, and I wanted to practice civil law. I had the second round of interviews in 2017. I came out of the interview thinking this is it - this Chambers is the set for me. It all worked out in the end.

 So how long did it take from start to finish?

From starting university to actually being a fully-fledged barrister - 10 years. I was called to the Bar in 2015 and qualified in 2018. I see myself as a barrister from when I got my practising certificate, became self-employed, and got my insurance.

It took a long time, and you have to work for it. I missed a pupillage deadline and I failed an exam. When I had to retake the exam I thought this is why everyone said I shouldn't do this course. It’s too hard. But actually, having all those setbacks is actually a development opportunity – if you never fail you don’t learn or grow.

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Thank you Ellena for sharing your career journey with us. Your determination and self-belief, even when faced with disappointments and naysayers, is truly inspiring.