The Interview

On occasion, I have been asked to participate in the interview process when hiring peers. There is one interview that still haunts me to this day.

This particular interviewee was a qualified candidate with an excellent background that made her a front runner in the hiring process. After the usual questions which she moved through with mastery, I leaned in and asked her a question that the other interviewers would not. If we were to hire her, I needed to know she would have the grit to stand up to the unique challenges she would face in our corporate culture. I asked her as a woman, what her experience was in a male dominated industry. It was her answer that gave me pause.

This well educated and accomplished woman proceeded to tell me she had adopted the following to succeed in a male dominated environment:

·???????? She intentionally wore little or no makeup.

·???????? She wore pants or pant suits and button-down shirts.

·???????? She talked sports to fit in better.

·???????? She lowered her voice to make it deeper, more baritone like a man’s voice.

·???????? She spoke in a calm manner to be nonthreatening.

·???????? She complimented the men because they responded better with the praise.

·???????? She did whatever she could to make herself smaller in their presence.

She could not be attractive. She could not be perceived as feminine. She could not share about her personal interests outside of sports. She could not talk in her normal speaking voice. She could not be assertive. She gave men praise even if it was unearned. She accepted that to ‘fit in’ she needed to denude herself of anything that would threaten her male counterparts.

My feminist heart broke that day when I realized how much she changed herself to survive in her male dominated world. You see, I have a unique upbringing. Accomplished women have surrounded me my entire life. In my teen years, I attended an all-girl high school. I did not have male bias overshadow my participation in class. It was in high school that I found my voice and I learned that my voice mattered.

When I write articles on leadership, I intentionally include my feminine experience. I believe that leadership is not a ‘masculine only’ capability. Leadership is not masculine or feminine. It does not exist in a binary construct. Leadership embraces neutrality of being thus creating an infinite number of possibilities for execution.