Intersectionality means making room for individuality

Welcome to Lead With Inclusion! This weekly newsletter is a resource for EVERY professional. Whether you’re a manager ready to be a more inclusive leader, or an employee ready to be a DEI champion in your workplace, inclusive actions lead to inclusive outcomes. Leading with inclusion simply means starting with inclusive actions in everything you do. It means identifying the areas where bias is at work, and shifting mindsets to make change.?

If you’re not sure where to begin, start here.

June is a national awareness month—by presidential proclamation—for Caribbean-Americans and LGTBQ+ folk (our free diversity calendar has more). As a daughter of Caribbean parents, I’m glad that this month celebrates the diversity of my own heritage.?

While you may not identify as Caribbean American, African American, or even Black, I know for certain that all of us grew up with the many idiosyncrasies that come with being part of different cultures—from your heritage, religion and language to where you grew up and more.?

These traits are passed down from generation to generation, yet every one of us experiences them differently through the lens of our individuality. We may share similarities with others of our culture and have our own unique take. In other words: we’re all different, even when we share identities.

Lead with Inclusion:

It can be tempting—and it’s a normal thing for our brains to do—to make assumptions about individuals who share the same heritage, sexual orientation, country of origin, etc. And sure, sometimes we do share similar experiences:

For example, I truly enjoy watching IG creators like Kyle Mark (@kylrbossone) and Certified Sampson (@certified_sampson) who weave such wonderful visual stories that remind me of my youth with Caribbean parents.?

In one of his recent videos, Kyle captured exactly what it was like when I used to bring home a 99 on a test and my parents would ask me what happened to the other point! Rather than celebrate a great achievement, Caribbean parents are known for reminding us we could have tried harder. Their thinking might be: “If you were smart enough to get a 99%, you could surely have achieved 100% with a little more effort!” And while the familiarity of this approach can be funny to watch in a story, it can also induce trauma.

Kyle’s video made me think about how the constant expectation to excel can shape us into? hardworking, overachieving individuals—often to our detriment. I have had so many conversations—especially with Black women—who are tired of being expected to turn in flawless work and support everyone else while usually being undercompensated and underrecognized for their efforts. They stay late to complete projects or provide extra feedback and training to others, all while their own significant contributions get overlooked.?

A common theme here is that many of us from underrepresented backgrounds were taught to work twice as hard, and that culture of overachievement was ingrained in us by our own families and communities. Yet at the same time, due to our personalities, mentors, life experiences, sheer coincidence, and more, it’s unwise and inaccurate to assume that every Caribbean-American Black woman would relate to Kyle’s video the same way I did.

Be an Inclusive Leader:

In the workplace, we have to give each other grace for each other’s individual and diverse backgrounds and recognize that how we were brought up does indeed impact how we behave today—but not in the same way for everyone, no matter how many identities we share.

And if better inclusion in diverse groups means allowing for differences in our work styles and behaviors based on our unique upbringing, what can that look like?

1. Reflect on how your own upbringing affects your attitudes and thinking. How do you treat others based on how you were treated growing up? What is your perception of their work ethic? How do you handle them, and yourself, at the workplace?
2. Adjust. Do you notice you’re pretty hard on people who you perceive as doing much less, for instance? No matter where this came from, how can you adjust your expectations, or at least how you respond to their output?
3. Remember that intersectionality is a thing. There are so many complex factors—beyond the most obvious markers of culture or gender—that influence how we behave. For instance, don’t assume that because one Asian man works a certain way, that every Asian man you interact with will. Don’t assume that because one queer employee had a parent who didn’t accept their identity, every queer person at work has had a difficult life that influenced them in the same ways.
4. Get support. “Unconscious Inclusion” has your back. Designed for individuals or teams, it’s a neuroscience-backed program that delivers sustainable, meaningful cultural transformation. While many DEI workshops stop at raising awareness, our program provides lasting change (and HR professionals earn 13 CEU’s, and PIHRA members qualify for a discounted rate).

When it comes to great leadership, treating employees and colleagues as individuals means remaining flexible in your thinking about their backgrounds and behaviors. And the biggest “flex” you can make as a leader is to wholeheartedly embrace and champion genuine inclusion.?

PS. We will be out of the office next week and won’t be publishing our usual Wednesday issue. We wish you a wonderful holiday week (for those in the US) and we’ll see you after.

About Stacey Gordon:

Stacey Gordon is a Bias Disrupter and an unapologetic evangelist for inclusion. As the Founder of Rework Work, she anchors action using change management principles while facilitating mindset shifts. She is a global keynote speaker, Top Voice on LinkedIn and a popular LinkedIn Learning [IN]structor with nearly two million unique learners enjoying her courses.??

Want to work with Stacey live? Consider booking her for your next keynote, leadership development meeting or consulting engagement.