Interpersonal Relationships

Introduction

Forming an interpersonal relationship with each other is extremely undeniable because human beings are naturally social creatures. Human beings tend to converse and interact with people from different backgrounds. Various theories and concepts like a social exchange, dialectic, and equity help explain how individuals make good interpersonal relationships. When assessing interpersonal relationships and how we relate, the nature and the dynamics of the relationship play a vital role in how people communicate with each other in the relationship. Theories of interpersonal relationships determine the success of a relationship. The interpersonal relationship presented in this paper explores my relationship with a man I met through a close friend. The discussion is vital in illustrating the nature and dynamics of interpersonal relationships.

In the earliest stages of our relationship, we communicated and conversed through social platforms. I was the one initiating conversations which in the long run was a turn-off. After a month, we met for the first time and the first interaction was extremely unpleasant. He seemed uninterested and I failed to understand the reason; because his texts on social media portrayed a different perspective. He continued to ask for meet-ups in which I agreed to despite knowing the energy was not equal. Afterward, I noticed I was developing communication issues with him. After realizing he did not have or reciprocate the same feelings I had, I started closing off. I was reluctant to share much of my personal information because I failed to understand my gains from the relationship. He was not open about his personal information and it seemed I was forcing communications. When he did not show any interest to improve communications, I lost my ability to form a good interpersonal relationship and this affected my communication with him. I started being reluctant to initiate conversations and sharing personal information.

Social Exchange Theory

George Homan developed the social exchange to weigh the risks and potential benefits of social relationships. Social exchange theory states that individuals at this stage assess what the relationship offers; for example, the gains and losses (Jones, 2013). It makes a comparison between relationship costs to rewards. Social exchange theory is comparable to other economic theories that focus on exchanging good intake to the final output yielded. Similarly, both economic theories and social exchange theory are focused on the exchange of goods and inputs against the output (Jones, 2013). When the reward in the relationship is more or equal to the cost it makes an individual feel the relationship is worth it. Social exchange theory is a relational theory because the rewards are emotional. The costs incurred can include poor or minimal communications or putting an effort and inters to please the partner. Rewards include being understood, sharing common interests, and enhancing companionship (Jones, 2013) . Comparing this theory to my interpersonal relationship, I released that I was getting less from a relationship because I was putting effort into fewer rewards. I incurred costs like a lack of communication because the relationship was young. I sacrificed much to please but in the end, the reward was a lack of common interests, miscommunication, arguments, and being misunderstood which brought emotional stress. The experience was unpleasant and I learned that effective communication, equal efforts, sacrifice, cost, and reward should be equal from both partners.

Equity Theory

Stacy Adams developed equity theory in the 1960s. According to the theory, individuals in a relationship should be concerned with equity. This is the complex version of Social exchange theory mainly because it not only focuses on rewards and costs but also equity. According to social scientists, individuals are less motivated towards attaining a balanced relationship. Equity theory argues that people should be concerned about fairness in their relationships. The rewards and costs of their experiences in the interpersonal relationship should be equal (Hatfield & Rapson, 2011) . Despite the costs and rewards varying, they should be comparable in the value they add to the relationship because time and feelings should be equal. When one partner reciprocates all the time and feelings, then the relationship is unequal. In this case, my relationship lacked equity because my partner failed to give back an equal reward. I learned that relationships should be fair in all aspects to promote good interpersonal communication.

Relational Dialectic Theory

The relational dialectic theory was formed in 1988 by Barbra Montgomery and Leslie Baxter. The dialectic theory explains how relationships are constantly changing, and the success of the relationship depends on how this change is handled by partners (Baxter & Scharp, 2015) . Romantic partners have contrary opinions and desires. They have to find the best way of handling the indifferences and communication to reach a consensus or compromise for the relationship to last. Remarkably, communication plays an integral role in solving, negotiating, and organizing contradicting relations. Openness, genuineness, and authenticity are the cornerstones of a relationship. Openness in a relationship entails the desire of divulging information against being private and exclusive. This concept is at play in my romantic relationship whereby; when chatting with my boyfriend I was open while on the other hand there was a closeness on his part. Relationships should embrace the ideals of openness, closeness, authenticity, and certainty. I learned that changes are unavoidable in a relationship; despite each person having different desires, they should find possible ways of solving them.

Conclusion

Effective communication is essential towards developing and promoting valuable interpersonal relationships. Effective interpersonal relationships are crucial in consolidating and improving relationships, especially between romantic partners. Various theories such as social exchange theory, dialectic, and equity theory hold that interpersonal relationships can be strengthened by personal attributes like openness, genuineness, and effective communication. Significantly, these attributes are critical in achieving worthwhile goals in a relationship.

References

Baxter, L. A., & Scharp, K. M. (2015). Dialectical tensions in relationships.?The international encyclopedia of interpersonal communication, 1-6.

Hatfield, E., & Rapson, R. L. (2011). Equity theory in close relationships.?Handbook of theories of social psychology,?2, 200-217.

Jones, G. R. (2013). Communication in the Real World: An Introduction to Communication Studies.?The Saylor Foundation.

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