Interpersonal needs to know (and how they affect teams)

You’ve probably heard of the MBTI? personality preferences Extraversion and Introversion.

But did you know there’s another part of your personality with a huge influence on team interactions?

The FIRO? assessment measures interpersonal needs, and was first created to help Naval warship teams work together better in high stress environments.

Interpersonal needs are like empty jars. Some people need more to fill their jar, some people need less. What makes interpersonal needs so fascinating is they can predict how well a team will work together based on the amount of give and take of each of the three interpersonal needs.

Inclusion

First is the need for Inclusion. Inclusion (also called Involvement) is about recognition, belonging and how you relate to groups. It shows how much contact you want from others in the group, and how likely you are to include others as part of the group. It’s also about how much you want to participate in the group, and how much participation you want and expect from others. Scores can be low, medium or high for Inclusion.

You can probably already see how the need for Inclusion might affect group dynamics. Imagine having a few members of the team who have a low interpersonal need for Inclusion, but the leader of the group has a high interpersonal need for Inclusion.

And that’s just one of the three interpersonal needs.

Control

The second interpersonal need is the need for Control (also called Influence). A high need for Control doesn’t necessarily mean someone’s a micromanager though. The need for Control also concerns responsibility, decision-making, influence and authority. Like Inclusion, people can have a low, medium or high need for Control.

You’ve probably been on a team where someone on your team has a high need for control. Whether they’re the leader by position or by enthusiasm, they’re likely exerting their own thoughts around decision-making, taking on (too much) responsibility, or making changes to things that they likely don’t need to make changes to.

Doesn’t sound familiar?

Maybe this person on the team is you.

Though it often has a negative connotation in many work cultures, the interpersonal need for Control isn’t a bad thing.

When you have a team where everyone has a low interpersonal need for Control, it can be hard to get things done. No one is taking responsibility, and no one is moving things forward.

Affection

The term Affection can turn-off some people in the workplace. So, while the FIRO-B uses the term Affection to describe this need, the FIRO Business tool calls the same interpersonal need Connection.

Affection (Connection) is about closeness between any two individuals. It could be between two team members, or a team member and a leader. This part of personality and behavior relates to sensitivity, openness and warmth. It’s how you relate to others.

Some people appreciate and need a large amount of Connection to feel fulfilled in their relationships with others. They may radiate warmth and want all their coworkers to also be friends. Others have low interpersonal needs for Affection or Connection. Many times, these people don’t understand why others want to share so much of themselves with coworkers. If you think about the jars again, these people may have a smaller jar for Affection or Connection, so they don’t need as much of this behavior to feel fulfilled.

Do you know what you need?

Here's the kicker about interpersonal needs: without knowledge of these interpersonal needs (your own or others), most people assume that others have the same needs for Inclusion, Control, and Affection.

And that’s where conflict, hurt feelings, and ineffective teams happen.

Just knowing the definition of the three interpersonal needs and taking some time to think about your own behavior in these three need categories can increase your self-awareness.

And these three interpersonal needs are just 1 of the 6 tips we must immediately improve team interaction.

Want to know the other five tips?

Download the ‘6 tips to immediately improve team interactions ’ today.