International Men's Day 2023

Like many others, I’ve spent a lot of time over the past few years reflecting on sexism, misogyny and the so-called cult of toxic masculinity.? It’s hard to imagine a month going by without another news report of a male celebrity or high-profile figure whose alleged historic inappropriate or illegal – and all too often sexually abusive or violent – behaviour is being exposed; or another damning report about entire industries failing to tackle the endemic of powerful men abusing their position and evading consequence or prosecution.

Without negating or diminishing any of these issues, which are of course profoundly alarming and worthy of more urgent attention and action than they currently receive, I wanted to provide some thoughts on International Men’s Day – specifically on why I am an avid champion of this moment in the engagement calendar and proud to work in a business that celebrates it.?

The reason I frame this article on International Men’s Day against the backdrop of sexism and misogyny, is that the two issues are not mutually exclusive. Indeed, they are often spoken about together; crucially, mentions of the former often give rise to discussions about the latter.

The name itself, International Men’s Day – a name which effectively signposts a group of people who compose 50% of the global population but who also account for: 96% of FTSE350 CEOs; 93% of global heads of government and 74% of lawmakers – probably doesn’t assist in its cause.? If I had a pound for every time I’ve heard people, especially women, exclaim with a raised eyebrow over the years “isn’t every day International Men’s Day?” I’d have raised a fair amount of money by now.??

Though its name is not necessarily helpful, the International Men’s Day movement sets out to do some very helpful things.? In addition to raising awareness of men’s physical and mental health and wellbeing – and directly addressing health issues that impact men in unique ways – International Men’s Day actually works to directly confront the maligned spectres of misogyny and toxic masculinity.

In providing a platform and spotlight for positive male role models – not just celebrities, rock stars and sporting heroes, but “everyday” men who are honest, thoughtful, hardworking colleagues and loving and respectful brothers, sons, dads and partners – International Men’s Day is showing up the high-profile misogynists and abusers for who they are – a minority whose behaviour should be called out and mustn’t tarnish the reputation of the rest.

Just as not all men perpetrate acts of toxic masculinity, not all fit neatly under a standard definition of masculinity. In celebrating the contributions of men around the world in all their diverse shapes, sizes and identities, International Men’s Day invites us to interrogate what it actually means to be a man, helping to subvert entrenched stereotypes of masculinity – for example, men should be active, bold, assertive, dominant, self-confident, strong, tough, athletic, unemotional, scientific, methodical, logical – and underscoring that manhood is not in fact a homogenous set of roles, behaviours and attributes.

Some men I know are shy, emotional and passive; some struggle with their sexual identity; some have no interest or ability in sport; some are single parents or primary caregivers to their children; and some have been victims of toxic bullying or violence from other men (and women).? Developing a workplace culture in which everyone feels that their own unique gender identity is accepted unquestioningly, rather than measured against a set of ancient stereotypes, is a key component in creating a supportive, inclusive, tolerant and respectful working environment.

At Gleneagles, men comprise 50% of our workforce and are equally worthy of our gratitude, respect and duty of care as our female team members – as they should be in any workplace setting. Just as we celebrate International Women’s Day, men deserve a space in the calendar where they might be seen and heard. For our team, International Men's Day is therefore an opportunity to listen, to learn and to understand how we can better support the men that we love and work with.? I am deeply proud of this.

The struggles that men face after all are just as real. In a professional context, throughout my career, I've sat with and seen many male colleagues in pain, too often accompanied by a veil of shame – shame that they can't 'man up', fear that they are not 'strong enough' and this shame leads to silence which can be fatal. I was truly saddened to read recently that, globally, men are three to four times more likely than women to die by suicide, and that according to the Samaritans, 73% of all suicides in the UK relate to men. ?

According to one study by Harvard Business Review, men who cry at work are perceived as less competent in their jobs than women who cry.? In a similar vein, a report published in The Leadership Quarterly found that when male leaders (but not their female counterparts) in the workplace ask for help, they are perceived as less competent. The same unfairness, of course, is true for women in the workplace who are deemed to fall short of social expectations – another important study by the American Psychological Association, for instance, found that female colleagues who display assertiveness or ‘dominance’ in the workplace are seen as less likeable which can impact their potential for being hired or promoted.? The point is that these narrow and restrictive socially constructed notions of how men (and women) ought to behave are harmful to everyone.?

This year on International Men’s Day, as an internal campaign at Gleneagles, we are sharing stories from men across our business – from executive level to career entry level – on how they deal with stress and anxiety and keep their mental health in check when they’re not having a good day or things are getting on top of them.? Whether it’s talking to a friend, getting some exercise, writing down feelings and emotions or seeking appropriate professional help, we want all our people, male and female, to know that it’s okay to not be okay; it’s okay to not feel strong and tough; it’s okay to express vulnerability; and it’s a good thing to ask for help.? Our goal in the campaign is not simply to provide practical tips to maintain mental and physical wellbeing, but to challenge stereotypes of masculinity and to encourage our people to do the same.?

We’ve a long way to go before we see gender equality. According to the World Economic Forum, it will take another 266 years to close the gender pay gap and 134 years to close the global gender gap.? As a mum to a teenage son, I talk to him not just on International Men’s Day, but regularly, about how he and his generation can be agents of positive change, by continuing to challenge and liberate themselves and those around them from the gender stereotypes that are imposed on all of us.??

But organisations have a part to play too.? Equality, Diversity and Inclusion training forms one strand of that, but we cannot rely solely on one-off moments in the annual calendar when we ask employees to complete an e-learning training module. It’s imperative we find avenues to chip away at the social norms, the social expectations and the stereotypical conventions, little by little destabilising the status quo by questioning, challenging and changing the conversation.