International Men's Day 2022: Stop saying ‘Man up’!

International Men's Day (IMD)?is an international awareness day recognised every year on 19th November with the ultimate aim of promoting basic awareness towards men's issues.?

The objectives of recognising IMD are set out in 'All the Six Pillars of #InternationalMensDay :

1. To promote positive male role models: not just movie stars and sportsmen but every day, working-class men who are living decent, honest lives.
2. To celebrate men’s positive contributions to society, community, family, marriage, childcare, and the environment.
3. To focus on men’s health and well-being: social, emotional, physical, and spiritual.
4. To highlight discrimination against men in areas of social services, social attitudes and expectations, and law.
5. To improve gender relations and promote gender equality.
6. To create a safer, better world, where people can be safe and grow to reach their full potential.

Stop saying ‘Man up’!

It seems somewhat ironic to have an article so focussed on the appreciation, well-being and achievements of men to be written by a woman. However, when it comes to such important issues, your gender, sexuality, race or belief falls into insignificance when you are passionate about something.

I am not a historian, nor am I an expert in gender equality, but I am highly expressive when it comes to recognising bias and stereotyping that impacts us all. As we are striving to aim for gender equality, especially for women, it is easy to let our appreciation for men fall into the background.

Men, just like women, are constricted by stereotypes and are more likely to be penalised or even teased if they act outside their ‘traditional’ gender roles. A study performed by Harvard Business Review suggested that men are more likely to be penalised both personally and professionally if they show vulnerability.?

More than one-third of men think society expects them to be strong and tough and suggests they should shy away from emotion and weakness and simply ‘man up’.?

I am sure nearly all of us are guilty of making some sort of banterous remark, whether it be ‘typical man’, ‘he’s under the thumb’, ‘all men are the same’, ‘it’s just man flu’ etc. but it’s important to understand what impact this stereotyping has, regardless of if we’re only joking.?

Toxic gender stereotypes cause problems for a number of reasons.?Not only do they place barriers to what we think about what is achievable, taking away options and opportunities from a vision of what is possible. They also impact the ability to express ‘our authentic selves’, restricting men to conform and suppress thoughts and feelings that are meaningful to us. More importantly they can create a sense of shame, which can fuel feelings of unworthiness and lack of purposefulness which have a huge impact on mental health.?

One in seven men aged between 18 and 34 have thought about harming themselves in the past three months, and nearly two-thirds believe that male stereotypes or male stereotyped remarks do real psychological harm. Diving deeper into the stereotypes at play, 91% believe that the trope of being ‘mean to women’ is the most harmful, while 79% think the same about being ‘sex-obsessed’.?

But the most detrimental from a mental health perspective is traditional ideas about ‘always being strong’, ‘being a provider’ or ‘having a particular body type’. All of these put a significant amount of pressure on men.

Calm (Campaign Against Living Miserably)?found that 4 out of 5 of men think that brands and advertisers should try to present a more positive impression of men’s mental health and believe that they should promote a more diverse range of body shapes.

Despite making significant strides over recent years there’s so much more we can all do to help to remove the stigma and support and understand men’s needs, from a physical, emotional and mental health perspective. It's a decades-old issue and it's time we look beyond unhelpful gender norms such as ‘strong’ to tackle this, by giving men ‘permission’ to be vulnerable and supporting them to seek help.

Seeking help is not always easy – and, often, that first step is the hardest to take. More than 75% of men have suffered from a negative mental health symptom(s) at some point in their life, but only 19% have been diagnosed with mental health conditions confirmed by professionals with the main reason for not seeking help being toxic stereotypical or stigma related.

We can all do our part in helping support men to get the support and treatment they need. From encouraging them to openly talk and show their emotions, to recognising what we might be saying or doing that is contributing to the stigma or stereotypes.

Together we can create a shift in perspective and a move towards a world that leaves toxic stereotypes behind – looking forward to a happier, healthier society.

... and STOP saying 'Man Up'!