Interesting Conversations Society

It often feels like parties are full of small talk. And it's hard to switch gears in many instances.

What if just a little push is needed to spark interesting conversations among interesting people? I am hoping to create a space that gives people such a push. A week ago I organized the first such event in Helsinki.

The concept

Here are the instructions I've sent to friends as part of the invitation to the first event I organized:

"The idea is simple. 3 topics, 3 tables, 2-5 people at a table. The topics for the first event will be technology, personal (fears, dreams, etc), and ethics. 3 questions per each topic. You will get 1 question every 30 mins. The question could be i.e. “Is technological progress inherently good for us as individuals and society as a whole?” Questions are only meant to spark the conversation, but you are allowed to discuss whatever else you might want to, as long as everyone at the table is comfortable with throwing the question out of the window. The rules of open space apply and you can move between the tables and join different conversations. Once the table grows to 6 people, it splits into two groups of 3 with an identical topic."

Before the event started I asked people to change tables without hesitation if they feel like they aren't enjoying the conversation and respect the desire of others to change tables without judgment. I also mentioned that rules are not set in stone and are there to be broken. In the future, I would also caution people to try to let everyone talk equally, ask questions from the more silent people, and save their own opinion if talking too much.

The feedback

Here is some of the feedback I got from the participants of the first event:

"We human beings love our comfort zone, and more often than not we end up spending more time with people who hold similar views or have similar interests, hobbies, etc. - basically similarity bias. This space created an opportunity to step out of the accustomed!"

"For me, it was particularly interesting to observe the different dynamics in groups with girls only and mixed ones. With only ladies at the table, the conversation was very fluid. We sorta danced around the topic - talked about it for a while, then moved to other directions, then went back to the main topic. It was very light girly talk yet a quality one. Enjoyed every bit of it <3 Discussions with boys were a lot more to the point, where every sentence said was focused on the main subject."

"I think the most worrying in such an event where people from random ages and professions come to talk about some of the most intriguing topics is who is specialized in what and whether you will feel comfortable to talk with someone who probably has much more of hands-on experience in such area of the topic. When you leave behind such identity things, you feel like your opinion is as equally valuable and valid."

"It felt liberating to talk without having to identify one’s self with external achievements like age and academia/career. Everyone just brought in their opinions without having a seeming advantage over another in terms of the environment that one has been brought up in."

"The conversations felt like they are there to share perspectives, challenge each other, and bounce off ideas, to expand our horizons and self-reflect, and uncover our biases. I remembered very strongly that I am a very action-oriented person, pretty idealistic, and that I need some direction. I got to see some of my own biases that come from the ego. When we were discussing if we should always help others or not, it was very clear to me that I had this strong bias that I know what's better for others. This is obviously not true, but that's how it goes in my head and something I need to work on. I should keep being humble, don't assume that I know better, and remember that not acting is also an option, and listen more, soak up others' perspectives."

"Being in a room full of enthusiastic people who use self-growth as a tool to get better jobs and more money, l realized that it absolutely does not matter what l do in life, job sense. I will do it for the love of humanity, so l shall find what l am good at and do that. What l gain from it is irrelevant. Be it self fulfillment of feeling of belonging or money, that's nice, but I don't care for it."

"It felt refreshing to be able to skip the small talk and talk to complete strangers about their views and opinions. For me at least, I felt like there were fewer prejudices and assumptions in communication precisely because of that."

Conversational learning points

I asked participants to write down short sentences as conclusions after their discussions. Here is what people noted down:

"In life optimize for meaningful experiences."

"Accomplishment is not usually one event, but a process, a journey."

"It's hard to divorce tech advancement from progress in general."

"Is IT the only field that is not stagnating since the 70s? And all advancement in other fields is driven by developments in IT?"

"Don't worry about AGI. Worry about AI getting in the wrong hands."

What would you advise your 16 years old self? - "All will be fine. Get diagnosed. Listen to yourself, respect yourself. Go for a personal development retreat."

"People are ethically obliged to improve themselves because it's one of the most important things they can do for society."

"Understand the unity of everything, and that will lead to compassion towards others."

Attend & spread

So far I've kept the event invite-only, but let me know if you would like to attend. No promises as the event venue has space limitations and can only host around 25 people.

Also, one of the participants wanted to 'steal' the concept. Please do so! I would love to see more events like this to pop up. Feel free to reach out if you have questions about how to organize it.

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Thanks for sticking till the end! I'm a CEO / advisor at 2 startups, bookworm, longevity/aging research fan, soon-to-be PhD in self-managing organizations. Read more about me here.