On Interdependence

Reflections from our CEO and Co-Founder, Amy Elizabeth Fox .

We are starved for a vocabulary of interdependence. Our organizations place such an emphasis on independence and "resilience" that we don't celebrate or reinforce the equally essential leadership capacity of cultivating belonging and mutual caring in the workplace.

In our leadership programs, we talk about the vital language of relational needs. Requests and offers one could make not for problem-solving and ideation but for emotional support.

Participants typically come up with two ideas: someone could listen to me or hug me. That is almost always their entire repertoire of ideas on this topic.

Slowly the group starts to understand that there are many, many ways others might nurture their heart: to witness your story, share your life's wisdom, recognize your growth, cook for you, walk in nature with you, grieve with you, pray with you, dance with you, bring you an unexpected gift, teach you something, accept your amends and forgive you, invite you somewhere special to you, confide in you. And on and on...

Then, there is a tremendously poignant moment when someone has the courage, looking at a list of dozens of such relational moves, to admit that they don't know anyone in their life who could ask for this kind of emotional support. The entire room stops breathing for a moment because it's so widely true. We have lost the relational fabric and impulse for generosity in companies built on numbness, workaholism, and productivity.

Being trauma-informed as a coach or facilitator means advocating for healing in organizational life and the possibility of genuine connection in daily work.

It also means role modeling a wide open heart that will spontaneously make offers of kindness to other people and an orientation and capacity to place one's attention on other people for an extended period of time to serve as witness to their life's unfolding.

After a week-long program of deep self-exploration, it is very touching to watch the natural emergence of emotional care return in the group.?

This quality of love expresses itself in many ways: Through sitting close together, offering gestures of comfort, words of counsel and wisdom exchanged, candid and meaningful feedback offered, sharing raw and real stories with one another, time walking in silence, and a quality of safety and unconditional acceptance that is mature in nature, having had a chance to really get to know each other's true nature and real-life story.?This group field now has a greater coherence and wide-healing capacity that unleashes spontaneity, joy, and playfulness.

It truly does take a village.

Let us, more and more, become such a refuge place for one another.