Intercultural Nugget #6 Decoding the Burger
'We never get any feedback from the Chinese team members and they don't come to the meetings. It's quite frustrating.'
"When I asked my Indian colleague if he could deliver by Monday he said 'Yes, it is technically possible'. Nothing happened. I was annoyed."
"My British customer said that my presentation was 'interesting' and then I never heard from them again. I was puzzled and irritated."
"Do you offer a training course on honesty?"
These quotes from former clients illustrate some issues concerned with intercultural communication.
Actually the team members not coming to the meeting was communication; feedback doesn't have to be verbal. As Paul Watzlawick famously said 'one cannot not communicate'.
Even when words are used and we think we understand them you have to be careful. 'Yes' doesn't necessarily mean 'yes'; it can in fact mean 'no'. In some cultures it is used to show respect or willingness to try to do something. What is not said can be as important as what is said. Saying it is 'technically possible' could mean it is possible but I'm not going to do it. Saying something is 'interesting' may be more about politeness, rather than honesty.
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While for some people communicating in a direct way can be considered to be honest and efficient, for others it can be seen as rude. The important thing is to be aware of these differences and find ways of coping with them, rather than try to change the behavior of the person you are communicating with. Linking communication styles with particular national stereotypes is also dangerous as a whole range of factors influence how we communicate.
One popular method of giving feedback is the burger technique: the negative message is sandwiched between two positives. While highly accepted by some people, there is a danger that some will only hear the positives and miss your message. Not everyone is interested in the meat. For some the bun is enough.
For practical ways of communicating more effectively across cultures see Chapters 6 and 7 of my forthcoming book ?Bridge the Culture Gaps.
Coming soon: Intercultural Nugget #7 'Global Virtual Collaboration'.