Intercultural Communication Musings: Wayward luggage and angry wives

Why should saying you’re sorry be so hard when your global reputation may be on the line?

In my previous Intercultural Communication Musings article I wrote about “Socratic and Confucian (or “Rugby and Golf”) Approaches” to meeting styles, which is one of the “maps,” or cultural frameworks, that Link Global Solution (LGS) uses in its intercultural communication workshops. Over the past year, my first working at LGS, I’ve observed numerous workshops and familiarized myself with the various maps that have helped literally thousands of our clients effectively navigate new and culturally diverse business situations. And along the way, I don’t know how many times I’ve found myself recalling various incidents in my life that have come into sharp relief in the light of my recently acquired knowledge. I’d like to share one of them with you now.

It was a convenient system, or would have been if it had worked as promised.

The Most Magical Place on Earth

It was the spring of 2006 and my brother, who lives in Orlando, Florida, was getting married. My family and I planned to fly in from Tokyo, where we live, to attend the wedding. And since we were headed to Orlando, the Land of Mickey, we decided to spend a few days at what is billed as The Most Magical Place on Earth. After two long flights we arrived at Orlando International Airport at a little after 9:00 p.m. Since we were staying at one of the Mickey World hotels, all we had to do was catch one of the resort shuttle buses; the hotel would pick up our luggage and deliver it to our room. It was a convenient system. Or, it would have been if it had worked as promised.

Tetris and Ameba

Now might be a good time to introduce “Tetris and Ameba Attitudes,” another of the maps we use at LGS in our intercultural communication workshops. Tetris and Ameba refer to two distinct ways of thinking about one’s scope of duties and responsibilities in the workplace. In Tetris-style organizations, workers have clearly defined duties and responsibilities and know that they will be evaluated on how well they fulfill the obligations outlined in their job description. That’s why a Tetris-style worker who is asked to handle a task that falls outside of her defined range of duties may decline, saying, “That’s not my job.” Most U.S. companies could be categorized as relatively Tetris in nature.

By contrast, Ameba-style organizations, common among Japanese companies, take a more flexible, team-based approach to work. Accordingly, responsibility is often shared company-wide and employees are expected to assume new duties whenever the need arises. That’s one of the reasons why Japanese employees are usually quick to mollify customer complaints by apologizing, even if the person offering the apology wasn’t responsible for whatever transgression caused the grievance. Generally speaking, in Japan, this attitude is also quite common across society as a whole.

The Most Magical Place on Earth was losing some of its Magic.

Meanwhile, back in Orlando …

Back at the hotel in Orlando, not long after we got checked in and settled into our room, we were informed that our luggage had been “delayed.” While waiting, my kids, who were ten and six at the time, took their baths and promptly fell asleep. We gave them the adult-sized hotel bathrobes to wear as ersatz pajamas. At a little before 11:00 the front called to inform us that our bags still hadn’t arrived and, due to the late hour, instead of calling again, they would just place them outside of our door so we could get them in the morning.

The Most Magical Place on Earth was losing some of its Magic.

A couple of minutes later, however, the phone rang again. The perky woman’s voice on the other end of the line belied the late hour: “Great news, Mr. Berger. Your bags have arrived!”

I’ll admit, I was relieved. And I thought my wife would be also when I conveyed to her what I had just been told. But my wife, who is Japanese, displayed no signs of relief. Something was clearly irking her. After a few seconds she asked: “You mean she didn’t apologize?”

I mentally replayed the conversation and realized that no, there had been no apology. No admission of culpability. I think it was the effervescent tone that had thrown me.

As far as my wife was concerned, a mistake was made and we were owed a heartfelt apology. From the young woman at the front’s perspective, however, since the delay in our luggage wasn’t her fault, she probably didn’t feel there was anything to apologize for.

The big difference one little word can make

Herein lies a gaping chasm that I believe poses a serious threat to companies catering to a global clientele. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this and believe that saying you’re sorry does not automatically equate to an admission of wrongdoing. All the woman at the front had to say was: “I’m sorry that you were inconvenienced by the delay.” More than an apology, it would have simply been a kind gesture, an expression of sympathy in response to the inconvenience that we incurred.

This incident occurred more than eleven years ago, but if you were to mention it to my wife, you’d immediately discover that the nerve is just as raw today as it was back then.

Sorry, but I think that every company with diverse clients, especially Japanese clients, should learn how to say they’re sorry when the time calls for it.