Intercultural Communication

A Chinese friend of mine who worked in Germany was expecting a birthday cake on the first birthday from his company. He came into office excited and a little nervous about what could be waiting for him on that day. Instead, everyone seemed to be busy like every other day. No birthday wishes, no announcement by the department head and no birthday cake! He felt rejected, mistreated and ashamed. He thought the birthday cake from other colleagues were prepared by the department like in China, which is normally the case. The fact was, that in Germany the person who has birthday was supposed to prepare the birthday cake and invite everyone in the office. This was just one little intercultural anecdotes.

Intercultural communication is happening around us all the time nowadays. Normally is it occurs in small harmless events. But those misunderstandings will lead to lack of trust, demotivation and conflict in the long run.

The core question is, how we can improve inter-cultural communication or how we can improve our inter-cultural competences?

Let’s first have a look at both terms: culture and communication. Culture is standards of behaviors, beliefs and values accepted, demonstrated or adapted by a certain group of people. We have different layers of culture: nations, gender, age groups, and professions, organizations as even a team all foster their own culture. This implies two important facts: 1) is it the standard accepted by most of the people in the group, 2) not all the group member may show the same behaviors, as there are individual differences and outliers. These are the most important facts we need to keep in mind when we talk about intercultural communication.

Now let’s shift to “communication”. The most important purpose of communication is to make your message received, interpreted and understood in the way you want/intend it to be received, interpreted and understood by the recipient. Communication is about interpretation and perception. Therefore, in order to make sure that our message will not be misunderstood, we need to understand the cultural lenses our recipients are wearing and how they are wired to interpret certain behaviors, languages, words and values.

Now what are the implications for inter-cultural communication?

Firstly, we need to try our best to understand the cultural background of the person to who we are speaking to, dealing with, negotiating with. We need to be savvy about all his cultural belongings-nationality, age, gender, profession, upbringing. The more homework we do, the better we are. Some of that knowledge comes from our life experiences. Regarding national culture, there are a lot of books, homepages which summarizes national culture and conventions very well. The most powerful tool, I think still is to ask people for advice, who have a deep personal experience with that culture.

Secondly, we need to be aware of individual differences. As we pointed out earlier, everyone is different. His cultural behaviors are influenced by different layers of culture. Plus, there are always outliers in a group. Not all Germans drink bear for breakfast and most Chinese do not eat dogs! It is very dangerous to cluster people with a stamp and put them into drawers. It is indeed very difficult to recognize cultural versus individual behaviors, especially if we do not know the culture and the individual very well. Then what to do? The only thing I can recommend, is to be savvy, careful and observant. Don’t jump into actions and judgements. Observe the common behaviors, observe the differences, ask questions and try to understand why certain people do certain things.

Thirdly, look deeper, look beyond artifacts and customs. I believe many of you have seen the cultural iceberg. This image illustrates that the behaviors, words, artifacts and customers are just the surface of a culture, the tip of an iceberg. Like an iceberg, a huge portion is below the water and unperceived. These are the values and beliefs which motivate and trigger people do certain things. This can be compared to a computer program where a certain input triggers a pre-defined output. We can only understand a culture, if we go deeper to understand the codes underlying the function in our brains. With many years of working in inter-cultural groups, I found an interesting and simple fact. The fact is that most people act rational, logical and reasonable if you understand the code behind his reaction. This includes understanding his circumstances and values which trigger him to do certain things. No awkward, stupid behavior is awkward once we understand the other person’s background and circumstances. We should keep that in mind and strive to go beyond the surface.

Fourth, ask questions. A coach asks tons of coaching process. This is the one single most powerful tool of communication. Through questions we try to gather information we need to understand the counterpart's culture. Only by gathering a lot of information we can tell if certain behavior is driven by cultural or individual beliefs. Questions can be asked in a sincere and non-offending way.

Many times, simply ask people “Would it be okay for you, if I do this?" "Would you mind to explain to me why you did this? I'm just curious..." It is an easy way to avoid misunderstandings.

Last, be neutral, non-judgmental. Don’t assume people are lazy, stupid or unfriendly just because they do not act the way according to your cultural norms. Be patient; give yourself time to understand the drivers of the behavior. This comes back to look beyond the surface and ask a lot of questions as well. But I do think our basic assumptions will determine what we do far more profoundly that we are aware of. Therefore, I do advocate that we should go with a non-judgmental mindset in each communication situation. Literally start as an empty glasses in the respect of knowing the cultural and personal traits of the other party and try to absorb information as much as possible before drawing conclusion.