Interact with the person, not the power??

Welcome to Quick Confidence! This weekly letter delivers a spritz of stories, tips and actions that will build your confidence and power. Each tip bolsters confidence in your body, mind, and relationships so you can lead yourself and others to greatness. Quick Confidence is also a book! Get your copy to carry confidence wherever you go.?

A young entrepreneur once approached me at a conference, asking, “How do you overcome the intimidation of working with these colossal companies?”

I understood her nerves and hesitation well. I vividly recall my 28-year-old self navigating my first significant consulting contract with a Fortune 500 company. I was negotiating with their 30-person legal team… alone! It was daunting. But a realization struck - I could see things as lil’ ole me against an overwhelming legal team or I could choose to engage with the individual rather than the title.

I made a choice right then to interact with Melissa, the associate general counsel who was my main point of contact. She was (surprise!), a person just like me, not a corporation. And guess what? By making this shift, what once felt like a nerve-wracking negotiation turned into a straightforward conversation between two individuals, both of us aiming for mutual understanding and agreement.

And I firmly believe this approach can benefit you too. Here are a few of the strategies I used to help me see the person, not the power.

Quick Confidence Tips for Reducing Intimidation

1. Mindset: Humanize 'em: Nervous about an upcoming meeting with an executive? It helps to keep in mind that they didn't start as an executive. Like you, they've faced challenges, made mistakes, and learned along the way. Think about it: behind their ritzy title or glittering bio are most likely moments of failure, disappointment, or even the mundane - like a dream job they didn't get, a time they got passed over for an opportunity that was awarded to their peer or a stretch where they were unmotivated and had to power through each day.
2. Embodied: Use Comic Visualization: To soften the intimidation even more, picture them in everyday scenarios – groggily hitting the snooze button in the morning, chatting with their family over breakfast, or standing in front of the closet wondering what to wear. It'll remind you that you that have plenty in common. And if you're really intimidated by them, take it a step further and see them in a light-hearted, even silly light. For example, imagine them doing ballet in a Batman costume, or competitively vying for the win in a pie eating contest. When we humanize others and let ourselves laugh a little, others become more relatable and far less daunting!
3. Interpersonal: Balance task with relationship: As much as you might feel pressure to impress this person by acing the task at hand, don't forget to tend to the relationship too. Take a genuine interest in them so you can get to know the actual person. For example, ask follow-up questions as a way to show interest in their thoughts and feelings - you might say "You mentioned you were on holiday in Trinidad. How was that?" Another way to connect is to show that you're empathic. So if they mention the circumstances of their challenging week - you could say, "Wow, I imagine that’s a lot to manage/cover/deal with…” And if and when they share facets of who they are, look for commonalities and capitalize on them. This could be as simple as saying, "Ah, you're looking at colleges with your teenager? I'm actually helping my teenage cousin through the college application process." These small moments create chances to connect on a common, human level - look out for them.

At work, there will be times when you'll interact with individuals with more laurels than you. That's perfectly okay! The key is to remember not to view yourself as the lesser player by default. What truly matters is the substance and quality of the interactions you have, regardless of titles or achievements.?

When you approach each interaction with genuine curiosity, respect, and self-assurance, you establish a dynamic where all parties are valued. Recognizing your own worth is crucial; it sets the tone for how others will perceive and interact with you.

Now, I'd love to hear from you: Have you ever been in a situation where you felt overshadowed by someone's credentials or title? How did you handle it? Sharing these stories not only helps you reflect but also fosters a community of mutual support and learning. I look forward to reading your insights in the comments!

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It contains a proven system that you can implement again and again to demonstrate your firm position, disagree with poise, showcase your expertise, and much more. Sign up today and get immediate access to the Confident Communicator Action Plan Start communicating like the confident leader you’re meant to be.