#IntentionallyInspirational with Shelly Elsliger

#IntentionallyInspirational is a series of interviews for my upcoming book, that highlights people who ARE making a difference, with inspiring messages and experiences about thriving at work and life.

Shelly is a ‘go-giver’ not a ‘go-getter’, which explains her deep desire and ability to connect with and help empower people to find their voice and soar to unlimited heights. She is the mighty force behind the “Linkedin in High heels” workshop that is empowering people to become leaders in their lives. Shelly practices what she preaches, and has undergone personal and professional coaching to understand herself better so she can authentically help others find their path.   

It was a pleasure and an honour to meet Shelly at the #Locallinkin Peel Meetup recently. In this interview, Shelly shared with me, her incredible journey of self-discovery and growth, and her 5 key pieces of advice that have changed her life as she pays forward.

Q1.      What’s your story and how did you get to this point in your career & life?

I have worked for over 15 years in education, in the area of career and curriculum development.  I came to Toronto about two years ago to work at U of T because I needed a change and wanted to start anew because I had been growing and developing personally and professionally for several years. 

In 2010, about 7 years ago, I started feeling that my job was feeling routine, that the students who I was advising were doing the same thing over and over and getting the same mediocre results. I was feeling empty, unfulfilled, and felt there was more I could and had to do. 

I started branching out in several ways in my approach. 

First, I obtained my Personal and Professional Coaching Certification through Concordia University, which absolutely changed my life. To really understand others in a deeper and more effective way, I had to be vulnerable, and understand myself first. I opened up and allowed myself to be coachable. I can’t tell you the immense feeling of lightness and awareness I felt by doing this. 

Talk about scary! Coaching took me out of my comfort zone, but I realized that I wasn’t THAT comfortable previously, because always deep down, I wanted some change.  

I used to advise students and clients. Now, I see that relationship as a time for us both to learn. I provide a structure and space for people to reflect and find their own answers. 

Many people have been influenced by others to take jobs based on opportunity or salary, without finding out if that’s what they really want. If I do that, I am not helping them determine their path. In the past, I saw people come back after 5-10 years, not happy, feeling that something was missing. As a result of this change in my approach, I have opened the path for many people to develop what they want to do. Now, I like to say that I help people have their soul sing when it comes to their professional careers. There is a saying from Confucius, “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life!”

Second, LinkedIn is changing and becoming a more active community, with a push to be more human.  So I started to focus on how my love and passion for LinkedIn could help people. LinkedIn has changed my life in so many ways:

·        My online voice gave me my offline voice. I found a platform where I could tell my story and share my expertise around online branding and storytelling. As a result, my confidence has soared.

·        I created an amazing and powerful online people pod made up of people all over the world and I have received so many gifts as a result

·        It is a great place to lead and pay things forward; it is the ideal place for thought leadership

As a trainer and Coach, I help students, executives, teams, and diverse professionals use LinkedIn to build their confidence, credibility, and their brand, as well as the ability to influence, attract and develop their networks. They are setting themselves up for success with a more fulsome process, with small goals along the way; not just waiting for the end goal of ‘a job’. I am not a traditional trainer because internal confidence and empowerment are what drives people forward.

I developed a LinkedIn course (my favorite) called, “LinkedIn in High Heels,” specifically designed to help women rise up and tell their story, although, many men have also joined the course. I’ve worked with a lot of leaders from diverse industries. Some people have a presence and seem powerful in person, but then they get online, and can’t figure out who they are. I realized that women were not being as effective as they had hoped, especially online. This workshop and/ or motivational talk teaches women how to rise up and have a stronger voice online as well as learn how to align their stories with their personalities. It does take a bit of bravery, but once women have the tools, they soar, and this gives me tremendous joy to see. I am known as the LinkedIn Superwoman and I even have the cape!

I am a big advocate for women empowerment. Besides what I do with LinkedIn, I am also a Lead for the Forte Foundation University of Toronto, Undergraduate Chapter. The Forte Foundation is a non-profit organization in New York with the focus of rising women up to take on leading roles in business.

Q2.      What gives you energy and motivates you?

I used to have ‘Imposter syndrome.’ I thought that others were better than me, and I was scared to voice my opinions in case someone had something better to say. From that is where my passion grew for helping people find their voice and soar to unlimited heights. I especially love helping to empower women who often are more cautious and quiet, which is the focus of my workshop ‘LinkedIn in High Heels.’ There is no better feeling than empower people to become leaders – we are all leaders. True leadership comes from behavior and not from a title. When we all choose to act like leaders; we have the ability to transform the world and effectively model these behaviors for the next generation. Every time I am on LinkedIn, or in front of a class, I remember that I have been given a gift; the opportunity to pay things forward.

Q3.      What are you really good at? 

I am good at relationship building. I was always good at meeting people, but not necessarily relationship building; That is, connecting and building ongoing relationships with people that extend and grow deeper over time. This is very satisfying for me, and I find it easier now to find people in my community, whether in person or online. It is definitely an art that requires time and thought, but so worth it!

Q4.      How do you stay balanced at work and life?

I believe that we are all responsible for our own experience and that we often get in our own way. We have expectations, and we often expect everyone else to conform to them. My perspective is that I need to be aware of how I want to structure my work and life experience and go after it. 

For example, I am an entrepreneur, but I also work at the University, so I need to balance how I work so that I can have time for both and ensure that at both jobs, I give it my all! I have worked in a university setting for over 15 years and love what I do BUT, there is an entrepreneurial drive within me. So, I decided that for me I needed to have the best of both worlds.

Outside of work I practice yoga and exercise, as well as attend Drum Classes called ‘pound fit,’ is a great workout! I am going to be certified as an instructor in May and I my class will be called “Pound in Confidence!”

So in summary, to find balance, I look for what is missing. I think balance is a mindset, and I don’t think a person can be 100% fulfilled at work. Sometimes you need to supplement it with other activities or hobbies.  Also, on a side note, I take a day here and there to devote and indulge in self-care time, or as I like to refer to it, Shelly-Time!

Q5.      What are the key principles that guide your day-to-day life?

Always be authentic and kind. In life, I know that I will always run into people who may not agree with me, or who may work actively against me for whatever reason. I guide my actions by thinking positive and not really devoting time and effort into listening to naysayers. I didn’t always think this way but mean-spirited thinking and behaviour just kills the soul, and I don’t want to waste time in that zone. Besides, I do not want the environment and situations I find myself in to dictate the type of person who I am.

I see myself as a “Go-Giver” and not a “Go-Getter”

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with and I make sure those 5 people are people that are supportive, positive, and inspiring. I refer to them as my people pod. I have more than 5!

Q6.      Describe the best and worst working environments that you have experienced

The best working environment I’ve had was one where I was believed and respected for who I was. My manager knew that I was innovative, and he gave me the space I needed to create, develop and provide ideas which were welcomed.

The worst working environment for me was where I was micromanaged by a manager who insisted on being involved in every aspect of my work and made most of the decisions. It was an uptight environment where people became passive because so little was left to input. People generally did not feel involved and most ended up shutting down including myself.

Q7.      What is your dream job?

I would travel the world and empower women everywhere, both online and offline to develop their voices. This is so empowering for me, to see the changes that have been made and can be made. I would like to take LinkedIn in High Heels on the Road and have women from everywhere decide that their stories are worthwhile and we would climb that mountain together.

Q8.      Have you had mentors in your life, and if so, how have they impacted you?

I was mentored by a manager who is now retired, named Gerry Hughes. He gave me a position with a blank slate and essentially encouraged me to develop myself and the position. He was very generous in providing feedback and encouragement in my role. His philosophy was to ask for forgiveness, not permission. I blossomed with his support.

Another mentor was Anne Marie Cartwright. Anne Marie is my soul sister to me and a life mentor. She is an amazingly strong woman who has taken negative events in her life to bring positive teachings and awareness to others in the areas of workplace harassment, death, abuse, and suicide. She is an Inuit Elder and her insight and experience have helped so many people.

Q9.      What is something that people would be surprised to learn about you?

I walk on fire every year! I am able to do this by telling myself that “I can do anything!” And actually being able to do this helps me realize that if I can do this, which is very scary for me, I can overcome any of my fears. It is the way I set up my new year’s resolution with a spark under my feet!

Q10.  How would you like people to think of you and remember you?

I want to be remembered as a change maker, as someone who took risks, took chances, and helped others to also take risks and go beyond what they think their limits are. 

Q11.   What is your advice for people in work and life who want to make a difference?  

 I will leave you with 5 key pieces of advice that have changed my life and that I pay forward:

1.      Never Underestimate Yourself

Take risks and always go a bit beyond what you think you can do. I used to be someone who thought it had to be this way or that, with very defined options. There is a grey area – go ahead and jump in it. Risk makes you feel alive!

2.      Focus on the process, just not the end result 

Celebrate small successes along the way. Set benchmarks and when you achieve one, take some time to enjoy it. Also, tell people so they can help you savor the moment!

3.      Find your “why”

Simon Sinek says it well – finding your “why” will help put a lot of things into perspective.  

4.      Fight Imposter Syndrome

Accept that you have had success. Focus on the testimonials you have received. Always think of providing value. Stop comparing yourself.  You belong just as much as anyone else, but you must first believe it!

5.       Be Consistent 

The more consistent you are the more exposure you get, the better you get, the easier the process becomes, the more you get recognized as a person people need to know, and the easier it is for those people to find you

Connect with Shelly linkedin.com/in/selsliger www.linkedexpress.ca

All Rights Reserved Winnie Linker Kooy Communications

Follow along with #IntentionallyInspirational for more stories of inspirational people who are leaders in thriving at work and life! Do you have suggestions for others who you would like to see interviewed and profiled for #IntentionallyInspirational?