Intentionality Around Drinking

An area we shy away from talking about, but an area where becoming more intentional has had a profound impact in my life, is around drinking.

First, a quick and necessary disclaimer. I’m not an alcoholic nor am I an expert in substance or alcohol abuse. I recognize that addiction is multi-faceted and presents challenges much beyond my area of expertise so please know this newsletter is a personal reflection that I hope others may be able to relate to in their intentionality journey.??

I’ve been known to over indulge.

? Happy hours after work early in my career? Yes. I’d go frequently. And I’d usually be the last person standing.

? Day drinking on the beach on vacation? Yep. That’s an activity in itself, right??

? Going out with friends, closing down bars, and then feeling like hell the next day? Yes to that too. Pass the greasy fries and hamburger to help with the hangover.

I loved being care-free, going out with friends, and having celebratory drinks regardless of the occasion and I wasn’t mindful of anything other than the fun I was having in those moments.

It became a habit. Drinking with friends became a social activity in and of itself. And it was a lot of fun.

Until I realized that it didn’t fit into my goals, values, priorities.

I wasn’t showing up as the version of me I wanted to be.

Naturally some of this realization came with growing up, having kids, and being mindful of the example that I want to be to them.? Plus, I had a cut off time when I had kids and not only couldn’t be the last person standing at happy hour, I didn’t want to.? I grew up.

But I also found that even in the last few years this was an area I could tighten up and become more intentional..?

For example, I found that my way of saying to a friend “I miss you. I’d love to get together,” comes out instead “Hey—wanna to get a drink next week?” Likely a carry-over from many after-work happy hours, it’s become an easy way to get together. An easy ask. An easy acceptance that leads to spending time together.

Once I became aware of my tendency to immediately ask a friend for a drink when I really just wanted time together, I started asking friends if they wanted to meet for a walk or a hike. I still get that hour, hour plus with my friend. I still get the conversation that I’m craving and the connection, without relying on a beverage to get me there.

It’s a seemingly small change, but big benefits.

I’ve also become intentional about being aware of how I feel after one drink, after two, three, more than three (spoiler: not great). I ask myself going into a night with friends, for example, “How do I want to feel tomorrow?” because a night out where I've had more than a couple of drinks will impact my next day.

Is it worth it?

Sometimes, maybe so. I may say a fun, late night with friends on occasion may be worth not waking up at 5:30 the next morning, ready to tackle the day. Or I may say it’s worth staying up late, but I’ll drink sparkling water so at least I’m just tired the next day. There isn’t a right answer; the point is that my choice is intentional.?

Because I’ve learned…

When you overindulge one day, you are borrowing from the next.

Is it worth it for you??

It’s fine if it is. It’s a choice. It’s your choice.?

Make it intentional.

?? I wake up early to exercise or take time for myself to write or read.?

?? I want to show up as the best version of myself for my kids when I’m getting them ready for school.

?? I like to take hikes during the day and be out in nature.

?? I want to be sharp when I’m at work.

?? I am focused on physical health/fitness.

And when I overindulge, all of these above are impacted.?

I became aware and now I make a choice.

Don’t get me wrong. I go for a hike and my husband and I love an IPA afterwards. I love a glass of wine or two with dinner. I still meet friends for drinks. I’ve just made seemingly small changes that have had a big impact when I focus on how I want to feel the next day to make intentional decisions about what’s best for me.

Would love to hear if this resonates with you. What in your life have you become much more intentional about and made changes?