Intentional Community

We never know how our small activities will affect others through the invisible fabric of our connectedness.... In this exquisitely connected world, it’s never a question of “critical mass.” It’s always about critical connections. —Margaret J. Wheatley, Leadership and the New Science?

Buddhist Quaker Valerie Brown encourages an intentional and loving approach to community:?

As a teacher at Pendle Hill outside Philadelphia, I continue to grow in my understanding of community. A safe, brave space, Pendle Hill is where, on my better days I bring my most compassionate self forward. This compassion spirals outward as an invitation—an invitation that inclines others to do the same. In this community, I learn about connection and about sharing my vulnerability in ways that grow me, that grow others….??

It's easy to have idyllic beliefs about community—that it is a place where everyone is friendly, agreeable, and polite; a place where there is no conflict, connection is easy, there are no difficult people. What I’ve discovered, however, is that more often than not, community is about conflict and about how we together navigate it. Conflict often reveals something important, allowing me to yield to something bigger and more important than protecting my ideas around right or wrong. Community calls me toward recognizing the shadow side of myself: the ways in which I am hard, distant, rigid, and unforgiving. Community shows me when I am placing my needs before others, showing up distracted or late, and taking others for granted. The opportunity I am then given is to ask essential questions: Can I be transparent and undefended without collapsing when this feedback comes my way? Can I notice, name, and investigate with open curiosity what I am feeling? Can I offer myself and others kind attention without judgment or blame? The gift of community is the mirror that reflects back to me, that offers me a chance to live into a better part of myself.??