The Intentional Art Of Persuasion

I don't think it's possible to persuade without intention

You may get lucky. And some people are just naturally persuasive, but most of us need some pretty specific intention and a good framework

My framework for clear and persuasive communication has four prongs

Frameworks have been a big part of my success.

1. The first prong is what to say. What is my point? Is it clear? Is it simple?
2. Next is how I say it. What are the words I will use and in what order will I use them to be most impactful? What will my tone be?
3. I follow that with, to whom do I say them? In my line of work I get pushed to HR while my most effective counterpart is the actual person doing the hiring (IT hiring authority - CIO Director of IT...). The higher up the food chain the better
4. Finally is when do I say the words? A a good example is the topic of compensation in an interview. If I bring it up early, I lose leverage and appear self serving...interview over. So I wait for context...the end of the interview. In general, ask questions to uncover context before speaking

I spend a lot of time talking with people with the intent to persuade, to teach, to move them to another level of awareness and performance

I run in to the same situational dialogue and I often relearn ways to communicate myself

All of these examples should be familiar to you and many will have you slapping your forehead and going "Oh man I forget that one all the time"

Me too. It seems to be human nature

It's easy to get lazy with our words. It's also easy to relearn, practice and get very good at being clearer and more persuasive

Some examples of common situations we face and the nuanced difference between a helpful response and a lazy (ineffective) response;

• When someone is trying to explain something to you and, for the life of you, you just don't understand...

Lazy response - "I don't get it" or "I'm confused"

Helpful response - "Could you explain that again, please"

• When you need to ask someone for something and they're busy

Lazy response - "I'm sorry to bother you...?" (Generally speaking, I recommend you avoid apologizing altogether)

Helpful response - "Can we have a quick chat about {X}?

• When you have a disagreement

Lazy response - "I disagree" or "I think you're wrong"

Helpful response - "I see this from a different perspective" (let's discuss)

• When you're late

Lazy response - "Sorry for the delay"

Helpful response - "Thanks for your patience

• Wheniot's someone else's responsibility

Lazy response - "That's not my job" (this pisses me off more than any of the others - bad leadership)

Helpful response - "Let me get you to the right person. We'll get this taken care of"

I could rattle off 10 more, but you get the jist

Personal accountability and positive vibes

These practices are what move people to take action

Focusing on helpful responses and framing things in a positive manner helps you move the ball and gets people engaged

Problems become "challenges"

Disasters become "opportunities"

When we begin engagements with positive and authentic praise or compliments, the game changes. Conversations ar more productive, meetings are more meaningful and engaging.

When we take ownership...of everything...even when it's not our responsibility, our credibility and trust is heightened

We earn authority

The best leaders in my experience are very good at this. They don't blame. They investigate and figure shit out

If you want to become a more persuasive communicator, I think it's as simple as this

Own it and work towards solving it with optimism, authenticity and encouragement

And never apologize

"Thank you for your patience and understanding":)

If I can help please reach out - https://calendly.com/aylwardmark/30min