Integrity

Forgive me. As I write this, I have a storm of thoughts swirling in my head, prompted by reading several Linkedin posts regarding the continued marginalization, undervaluing and minimizing of people operating with and in their integrity. The stories of Dr. Claudine Gay, Former President of Harvard University and what I just read about U.S. Secretary of Defense, Lloyd Austin make me feel deeply unsettled. Deeply unsettled because I know many of us who identify as Black, African American or Person of Colour (remember my spelling is that of my Caribbean identity, for those of you who are new to this space :) ) can resonate with how they have been treated.

Having to operate in your integrity, for those of us who identify as the above, often means that we have to be on our "P's" and "Q's" in such an elevated way, it is often exhausting and demeaning when we are then treated poorly and in many cases with such disrespect. I have had to question my own integrity, as I process the stories of these prominent individuals, as well as the countless stories being highlighted through various medium more and more these days. One such story that immediately comes to mind is the story of a colleague, Dr. Yanique Redwood as authored in her book, White Women Cry and Call Me Angry.

The other story that comes to mind is that of Elizabeth Leiba in her book, I'm Not Yelling: A Black Woman's Guide to Navigating the Workplace . There is always a double standard for the way we operate as women and a double double standard for the ways in which we as women of colour especially Black women, navigate and operate in our various spaces. Before I share a snippet of my own story of frustration that these stories have sparked, I want to remind us of the definition/s I am operating with when I say, integrity. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, integrity is defined as, "the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness". The Merriam-Webster Dictionary goes further to define integrity as, "firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility. 2. : an unimpaired condition : soundness."

What stands out for me in these definitions, is the attention to honesty, high moral principles and incorruptibility. When I have stood up for myself in situations where my values and integrity were being questioned or disrespected, the retort was why am I being so "angry" or better yet, "why are you taking it so personal?" One of my favourite lines was "you are not worth the title of a senior leader." Now, I am not going to sit here and say these incidents did not leave me questioning myself in many many ways, but it also made me question the environments I found myself. I also learned something very telling, that people making these comments are often feeling threatened by you in one way or another and due to their insecurities (whatever they may be) find ways to attack and demean others who operate in a manner that is different and in some cases more positively recognized than their modus operandi. What has also been very consistent in the comments I have received, they have all been thrown out by white women OR women whom are white adjacent ( I must say this term is a "newish" one that I have been educated on by a number of my clients, as they recount their stories of toxic experiences in the workplace and those that perpetrate the toxicity). Such a curious thing, yet not surprising, given the stories of my colleagues noted above and countless other women of similar background.

As a Caribbean immigrant operating in the American context, having experienced my share of toxicity in the workplace, and now seeing the consistent barrage of news articles and Linkedin posts about the unfair treatment of Black people in the workspace; I cannot help but ask myself, why? What is it that bothers others so much, that these abuses are so common place? Why does a person of colour or again, more specifically a Black person operating in their integrity irritate others so much? It is no wonder so many people report being disconnected at work and going into survival mode and just checking the boxes to get through each day. It is no wonder there is such high turn over amongst populations of colour across various work sectors. The research is there and the reasons reported are indicated, yet companies still maintain the attitudes and/or mindsets and systemic undercurrents that perpetuate hostility and inequity at work. It is frightening and challenges me to consistently take a step back and ask why? What is even scarier, is that these companies and their respective work environments, can render no appropriate answer and "dipsy doodle" all day with their remarks or dear I say... rationale.

Thanks for getting this far in my quick brain dump. I was just so ignited after reading some articles this morning and had to share. Please leave comments and thoughts, as I value other perspectives and insights.

Finally, if you or others you know are struggling with toxic workplace experiences, please do not hesitate to reach out to [email protected]

As always,

Be Well!