Integrated Wellbeing

I say "Wellbeing" - I mean the emotional and mental state of a human being.

Our emotional and mental state have a profound effect on our ability to navigate life in a productive and healthy way.

The biggest driver of our emotional and mental condition is naturally driven by the relationship we have with ourselves, which is, naturally, the most important relationship we have.

It also impacts every single human being that has or ever will experience life.

The second two biggest factors are our relationships with others and our behaviours - and our behaviours are largely driven from the first two as well as our conditioning.

How do we identify what is "healthy" and what is "unhealthy"? - well - the symptoms are fairly common - and here is a selection of what unhealthy can look like:

Overthinking, feeling small or inadequate, needing to be right, needing to impress, need for approval and validation, need to be above or better than others, need to make others feel inferior, feeling inferior, laziness, blaming others for how we feel or generally being irresponsible, being manipulative, or controlling, withdrawing, feeling alone or isolated, need to be perfect, judgemental, moralistic, need to rescue others, lies, hides, defends and more.

I think you will agree that most of us can identify with at least some of these in that list - and many people will identify with many - and that's ok - it's important to know what you are dealing with.

So what we need to be able to do is positively influence as many people as possible, and to positively impact their relationship with themselves, their relationship with others and their behaviours - we also want to impact as much of their life as possible - with every healthy gain you make you'd expect that person to see benefits in ALL their relationships not just the ones at work.

And this is the challenge - how do you integrate good principles of Wellbeing into the very fabric of your culture - how do you create a culture that supports individuals to have healthy relationships with themselves, to have healthy relationships with others and to become more aware of their behaviour patterns - and then how do you help them to make a positive, healthy shift in all of these areas.

I will summarise the key challenges and areas you need to consider:

1. Authenticity - Becoming truly authentic can mean many years worth of work - there isn't a silver bullet and the work isn't quick - for most of us, in one way or another, we will have become very adept at masking who we really are. In addition, we may have never really had the kind of loving guidance in childhood required for us to fearlessly discover who we really are - therefore - we may not even know. If you don't know who you are or you have been hiding whom you think you are for a very long time how can you be authentic? We also over-identify with character traits or talents or achievements - the successful person may identify closely with their success - maybe that's a label, a position, a title, their achievements and the "unsuccessful" person may also over-identify with this too ("I will never get that job I want") - so we begin to believe that these things are who we are and over-identify with these labels. If we don't like part of ourselves or have shame or guilt we are likely to hide this from others. The challenge here then is to create an organisation, a culture, a way of working that encourages, enables, and guides people to be able to become more authentically themselves - and this is where true happiness lies - we cannot be inauthentic and be truly healthy and happy at the same time - how could we - having to put on a front requires energy to maintain and deep down inside we know - we aren't being true to ourselves - whether we are consciously aware of this or not.
2. Responsibility - Personal responsibility is a cornerstone of our mental health and wellbeing - every time we place responsibility for our lives, feelings, and choices outside of ourselves we risk our happiness, our sense of power and our wellbeing. Part of the problem is that if you asked 100 people how responsible they are from 1-10 many would give you a high number - but then they'd go blame someone else for how they feel or they'd say things like "sorry I didn't get that done, I ran out of time" - no you didn't "run out of time" - you had a set amount of time and you made choices regarding what you wanted to do with it - or some other form of irresponsibility. There are many forms of irresponsibility but the key point here is - personal responsibility is essential - for everyone and that there is a general lack of understanding about what true responsibility looks like. This is why consistent and healthy accountability is so important - if we want a healthy organisation we must have an accountable one - but we must do that is a healthy way (without anger or irritation).
3. We need to dramatically increase personal self-awareness - as described earlier, we will all exhibit patterns of behaviours, entitlements, expectations, fears, insecurities, choices and so on that prevent us from having a healthy relationship with ourselves and others - what we need to do is teach people about these so that they can become more aware, as they become more aware they can begin to make healthier, happier, more productive choices.
4. Relationships with others - we really can at times get tied up in knots when it comes to our relationships with others primarily because of our expectations, entitlements, and behaviours. Often people will need to be taught what a healthy relationship looks like if there have not already seen one modelled.

So now we understand the four key elements that we need to impact and we need a way to do this at scale. We need to be able to impact as many people as possible - this isn't just about people who identify as feeling anxious or depressed this is about everyone.

I can honestly say I don't know of or have certainly not met one person who does not exhibit symptoms or awareness of some level of present or historical unhealthy underlying conditions - of course, that's not to say they aren't out there, maybe they are - but if I have not come across one what are the chances you happen to be working with 2,000 / 5,000 / 10,000 / 30,000 of them - highly unlikely. So we do need to be able to reach people at scale if we want to really make an impact in this area, and generally speaking, nearly all people will benefit.

I want at this point to take a nod to all the amazing and important work that goes on in the Wellbeing arena - the mindfulness, mental health first aiders, the cultural work, yoga, the staff working groups etc etc - it's all incredibly valid and very important - we will always need tools to get us out of our heads and into the present moment (where life happens!) - however - there remains some blocks that prevent a healthy condition and we also need to address those blocks.

Before I move on it's worth saying that yoga, mindfulness and other spiritual practices like these can be very effective at reducing stress, healing suppressed guilt, shame, anger and other destructive emotions, developing a calmer, more relaxed, focused, centred, clearer, more tolerant person. With the right teacher, they can be transformational - but they do sometimes require regular and consistent practice - in fact, daily practice. With a Path of Authenticity, which is ultimately founded in the 12 step movement (which trace it's origins right back to the 1500's) we can weave it into daily life in a way that does not require you to sit for 30-40 minutes each day. That does not mean sitting for 30-40 minutes each day isn't something you should look to do - if you can have such a practice - great - but that may not always be possible, and it may not be possible to do at scale - whereas the Path of Authenticity we can do at scale.

So how do we help people to become more authentic, more responsible, become more self-aware and have healthier relationships with themselves and others (a Path of Authenticity) - well one of the key tools we can use that already exists in the workplace is performance management because:

1. Today - In nearly all cases, the current process will actually re-enforce unhealthy relationships (with self and others).
2. It's very rare to see someone holding their team accountable in a healthy and consistent way (normally they either don't or they get angry or irritated).
3. It's a process everyone understands and uses today (and it's done at scale).
4. We can weave in changes that ensure you are in line with all of the above, that we actually enable colleagues to become more authentic (rather than lying, hiding, pretending, or manipulating perceptions) and more responsible all at the same time.
5. We can then also teach managers how to consistently hold people accountable in a healthy way.

What we have done here is use a tool you already have in place (that sometimes has questionable value as it is) to teach people and drive in a healthy culture that will then spill out way beyond just a process, it will spill out into the conversations at the coffee machine, in business meetings, in director reviews, in day to day communications everywhere - so we want to create a place where people have a better understanding of themselves, have a healthier relationship with themselves, have learnt how to have healthier relationships with others, are more self-aware and are able to make more conscious, healthier choices and are more productive and accountable to boot.

This is what it looks like to fully integrate Wellbeing - it should be woven into the very fabric of the conversations and communications people are having every day, it should be woven into the way manager and leaders manage, it should be woven into how meetings are held and how people listen to each other, it should be woven into how we treat each other, along with your other initiatives, this is what it will look like to fully integrate wellbeing - and you will see significant positive changes as a result.

I hope that was helpful in helping you to understand some of the key things you need in place to create a healthy culture.

Here's to your healthy success.

Tom

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