The Insulting Interview That Taught Me About Dignity And Drive

The Insulting Interview That Taught Me About Dignity And Drive

I was 20 years old, lacking a family, clutching a newly awarded college degree and looking for some direction in my life. I had $84 in my wallet -- which was the sum total of my assets -- so I had to land a job before I could indulge in a life planning session. When you have to eat and put a roof over your head, that takes precedence over career strategy scenarios.

Somehow I found out that that there was an entry-level job opening for a college grad at Texaco, which used to have a big headquarters office in New York's Art Deco inspired Chrysler building. So I whipped together a resume of sorts, took the elevator to the 31st floor and arrived for my interview with a low-level manager I'll call Joe Banks (not his real name). It would turn out to be an insult session disguised as an interrogation.

I knew zero about the ways of corporate America but I expected to be treated fairly and respectfully as a kid seeking to land his first real job, work hard and be paid decently in return. But within a few minutes of the encounter, I could see that what I expected to be an interview, Banks viewed as a one-man tribunal. In an company where he sat at the bottom of the white collar totem pole, he had the opportunity to flex some power for a change and to belittle the only people who entered his office with less clout than him: kids in search of the American dream.

Here is how the interview went:

Banks: So why are you here Stevens?

Me: Well, to apply for your job opening sir. We discussed that on the phone.

Banks: Do you have oil industry experience?

Me: No sir. I just graduated from school.

Banks: So you expect us to give a job to a green grad who knows nothing about the energy sector?

Me: I'm eager to learn and will do all I have to to prove that you made the right choice if you hire me.

Banks: You mean learn on our dollar? At our expense? What do you think this is, just another college course. Why don't you tell your parents to pay for that?

Me: At this stage, I don't have any parents.

Banks: Is that supposed to be a joke?

Me: Not to me sir.

Banks: Do you really think it's proper to apply for a job sporting a mustache -- Mr. no parents?

I took the abuse that delighted Banks to mete out because a)I needed the job and b)I had no idea about the rights and wrongs of corporate etiquette. And then he touched a deep nerve.

Banks: You know Stevens, people like you should apply for civil service jobs. How can you even think that you can build a career in a real business?

I wanted to go ballistic but quietly excused myself, took the elevator back down to 42nd Street and wandered around sort of shell shocked for hours. At first, I absorbed and accepted Banks perspective --- maybe a mutt like me without family, grand education, money or connections -- couldn't build a significant business career. But then it all started to change. I connected with a kind of anger, a resentment that quickly morphed into something much more powerful and productive.

I wasn't going to be belittled by a small mind seeking to find a scapegoat for his failure to launch. Instead, as the weeks and months rolled by, I put the following plan into play:

*I would pride myself on the fact that I was a survivor and that I had been through a kind of personal test few had experienced.

*Next, I would take any job I could get and once the necessities were covered, I would figure out what I was good at and bring that to market. At first through my a productive job and then through businesses of my own.

*I would look for creases in the system and find ways to fill voids others were ignoring.

*I would work hard and fast enough to outrun most of the curve balls that would come my way.

Perhaps most important, Bank's disrespectful and antagonistic behavior led me to understand and apply the drive that was locked into my DNA to my career, to mentally shrink the size of human roadblocks who can appear immense at times in your life and to treat anyone looking for a job at my businesses with dignity and grace.

And to this day if I can help them to achieve more than they ever expected from themselves, I savor that achievement as a fundamental component of a life well lived.

Roxanne Oliver, MBA

Manager, Regulatory Insights Content Creation

10 年

I find it highly upsetting that there are people out there that actually enjoy putting others down. Interviewers need to remember that they were once also in search of an opportunity that would launch their career.

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Billy Shaw

ALBUM ALERT! "On the Fringe" - Available NOW!

10 年

I've had this happen before and the reason was really simple. It transpired that the guy doing the interview was going to get a kickback from another job-shop if the company went with their candidate! hahaha. Believe it or not, I've seen this more than a couple of times.

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Forget the whole "respect" angle to this. As an HR manager I read your article open mouthed thinking "My God - that manager is destroying the company." The competition for good people is too brutal for a manager or a company to insult people. Interview the person - if they aren't the right fit then don't hire them. Either way you are out the time but one way your company gets a black eye it will never lose. "Who wants to work for them? They're a bunch of jerks." Suddenly they wonder why there are no good people to interview - it's because all the good ones who are smart enough to do an internet search at places like Glassdoor are getting hired by your competition.

Patty Brown

Human Founder studiO

10 年

You are do right. Every person deserves respect and if there is anyway, no matter how small...you reach out and lift them up. Every person who gets lifted up makes our society better. Every person knocked down...well makes society like it is today. America and corporations need to get their mojo back. The best way to do that is to put people first. In the end that wins the game for everyone!

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