Installment 12: One Day is a Lifetime

All leaders and their teams struggle with change. Change is constant.

It's not too often the entire world can have the same general reference point in time. COVID-19 is one of those situations. Two years ago, almost to the day, we were all met with the news COVID-19 was classified as a worldwide pandemic. Since then, we've all made some adjustments in our lives. We've learned new skills, changed jobs, moved to and visited different cities, adopted a pet, picked up a new hobby, adjusted the way we shop for goods and services, and the list goes on and on. So, when I ask how your life is different today than it was two years ago, this common reference point allows all of us to look at the last 2 years with a greater than normal level of clarity. The last 2 years feel as if they were frozen in time. We were living our lives a certain way and then things abruptly changed from one day to the next. If someone asked me to inspect any other 2 year period of my life, it would be more difficult to remember the specific situations that affected me the most, the decisions I made, and the progress I made against my goals at that time.

So 2 years ago, tell me...

Who were you then? What obstacles have you faced during the last 730 days? How have you changed since then? What new decisions did you have to make? If someone asked you about the last 2 years, it's fresh enough for you to have a sense of the path you were on before the pandemic began. The last two years have given us reason to inspect how our lives are different than they were two years ago. This period forced us to make decisions we wouldn't normally make. We planned around new social parameters and rearranged the logistics of our day-to-day with no clear end in sight. Layered on top of this were periods of isolation and separation. Moments of weakness and despair likely filled the air at some point during that two-year period. The uncertainty of it all may have also generated heightened levels of pressure and anxiety for some of us. So what could we potentially get out of this period that is a gift toward understanding how we should live our lives going forward? Perhaps the ability to look at a 2 year period and wonder if we could approach every single day of our lives with that granular level of accountability and scrutiny.

What was your personal dialogue during the last 2 years?

Did you discover someone new, within yourself? Were you in a position where you had to become someone new? And that's the point of this installment. I want you to look at this 730 day period and ask yourself what else you might be capable of achieving and enduring if you simply prepared yourself to react more favorably toward future and unavoidable change. For if we all endured a global pandemic, there will most certainly be another future period of our lives where we would want to be on top of our game. It is my philosophy that staying on top of our game is a function of one's acceptance, willingness, and commitment to change. All of them are necessary for optimal performance. Accept. Will. Commit. Miss any one of them and our lives will seem more uncontrollable in our minds.

This is Installment 12: One Day is a Lifetime

I could present you with the most resilient, calm, and accepting human being on the planet and that person would still struggle with change. They would struggle to lead others through change. They would also struggle to be part of a team, system, or organization that is going through change.

Whew...ok, did I get your attention there? That's a big one for leaders to swallow. It really is.

Change happens daily, it's just too small an increment to notice if you're not specifically looking for it. Change is virtually unnoticeable until it becomes too much of a deviation from baseline to ignore. Remember, we see what we want to see. Like anything else, change begins with enhanced awareness and intention. If you're resisting change in your life right now, just think about this. You're only resistant to it now because you already told yourself you did not want to be open to this type of change. You haven't suddenly become resistant. Over time, you've programmed your current level of resistance. Until you decide to intentionally adjust your level of resistance, changes will seem unmanageable and inconvenient if that's the way you currently view it to be.

Are you with me? If you feel a change is unlikely or impossible to achieve, it will be. If you believe change is exactly what you need, then you'll lean into it a little more. The distinction does not mean we should accept that our lives will be reduced to these severe peaks and valleys. Instead, let us look at our ability to change from one moment to the next. From one day to the next. If we can teach ourselves to shorten the duration of time between inspecting the changes occurring within ourselves and around us, it will become more common to address what is changing and act upon what needs to change. And once you turn that mode on, you won't be able to turn it off. And that's the goal. At least it's my goal to live a life where each day feels even more vibrant and beautiful than the day before, brimming with opportunity.

So here's the exercise I've been doing and I'll share it with you. Borrowed from a wonderful friend of mine, this daily habit will accelerate your growth curve dramatically.

At the end of each day, contemplate for a few minutes about how you showed up in the world today. Where did you thrive? Where did you fall short? What could you have done differently? What will have your attention when you wake up tomorrow?

Then, two sharp inhales followed by a longer, slower exhale. According to neuroscientist, Andrew Huberman, the reason our dogs do this when they lay down is that it's a mechanism for calming down your system and preparing it for rest. It works immediately, and one can get really good at this right away in terms of calming the system down throughout the day.

Then, you let the day go. You did your best. You used whatever tools you currently have in your toolbelt to do your best today. It's time to let go of the day, close your eyes, take those intentional breaths, and get some rest.

The next morning, as soon as I open my eyes, I'm planning for the day. Who needs me to be on my A-game today? What person do I need to be today? What emotional landmines might I be traversing today? What tools will I need to access today? Tools can be anything you would require to help you throughout the day. I refer to meditation, yoga, breathwork, forgiveness, gratitude, awareness, calmness, compassion, and perspective as tools in my toolbelt that help me deal with things that are changing in terms of addressing resiliency, impatience, frustration, procrastination, discipline, etc. How you show up in the world is not by accident. You're the author, producer, and creator of self.

And that's it. That's the nightly and morning ritual that has locked in a laser-like focus I have never experienced before. I'm closing business deals I only wish I could have in the past. I have better relationships with my wife and children today because of this intentional work. I am pushing myself to new limits at the gym every week with this frame of mind. It's been a game-changer for me.

At the workplace, remember that change is a group dynamic. The reason I opened up this installment with the opening quote I did is that it speaks to this fact. You'll become more resistant to change, more resilient through change, and more intentional about what you're changing during this process. If you're open to change, more opportunities for change will come into view. It's really that simple. But understand that you live and work in systems, with other players in the game. You can't control others, but you can work on how you react to others. You can't control situations, but you can be better prepared for them. And you can't control your thoughts, but you can shift them to better suit your wants and needs.

Do this daily and you'll begin to understand that one day is truly a lifetime.

Onward & Upward