Inspiring Teenagers

You are going to introduce a topic, or share authentic life / work experience in order to inspire and encourage a group of teenagers to carry out research and study for a course. Brilliant idea.

This article: 10 ways to make your talks to teens even more inspiring!

What? Aren't my talks already inspiring?

I'm sure they are, or you would not have continued this long in the teaching profession. And since you are a successful educator, you know that there are always more strategies and techniques to learn.

OK, But I don't have much time. Give me a quick intro to what you are going to talk about.

Here are 10 ways to be even more inspiring:

1. Don’t Tell. Ask
2. Ask open-ended questions
3. Show you care
4. Be vulnerable
5. Negotiate the contents
6. Communicate
7. Structure using intuition
8. Be positive
9. Use role-play
10. Timing

Thanks for that. Go on. I'm listening

1. Don’t tell - Ask

There are two beliefs I have about teenagers: The first is that they are very interested to hear about things they do not know about, especially their future life, studies and work. The second is that they think it is boring to listen to someone who’s telling them everything they know. After about ten minutes, their attention fades. So here are a couple of tips for engaging teens early in your talk:

Don’t just tell them, "I am an engineer. This is what I know." Whenever possible, ask a question, for example, "What do you want to know about engineering?"

Tip: Avoid asking too many closed (factual) questions. It makes teenagers feel like you are testing them.

When speaking in front of a passive audience it's tempting to fill the activity gap with the sound of your own words. As experienced adults we have plenty of useful information and important advice to share. However, this talk aims to be inspiring, we must aim at teenagers hearts and souls as well as their minds.

Some of my favourite questions are:

• "I'm 60 years old. What secrets about life and work do you think I know that would be useful to you?"
• "I'm an immigrant to this country. I have been here 30 years, longer than most of you have been alive. So what advice would you like to get from me about living and working in this country?"
• "I have a University degree in Mathematics. How may I help you reach your highest goal in Mathematics?"

As you can tell, these questions pull the audience to the front edge of their seats and get their hearts and minds pumping as they see the potential of getting some insider tips on life, studies and work. Their initial response is often to look at each other, as if to check that they did indeed hear me invite their questions. Then I get bombarded by curious, cheeky, poingnent, powerful and sometimes upsetting questions.

At the start of the talk, I aim to get the audience engaged, so I accept any and all questions rather than attempting to select the 'best' ones.

Closed questions. Occasionally, I ask questions to check that the audience is still listening to me. There is a danger here that my questions sound like I am checking on how much they have remembered, which can begin to scare them that this lecture is yet another test in disguise. So closed questions like, "Where did I go to University?" are more scary than, "What part of my talk about studying mathematics has been the most interesting / useful / fun." Of course, checking their retention of what's being offered is an OK thing to do, in moderation. When checking, I aim to make sure that I am asking closed questions for their sake, not mine.

2. Ask Open-ended Questions

Any question that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no, will tend to develop the discussion. Questions about opinions, own experiences and interests will expand the discussion to where they want it to go.

Tip: Ask open-ended questions, eg. "What do you think are some of the challenging things about engineering?”. This leads to deeper exploration and greater learning.

Rule of thumb: 50% telling, 40% open-ended questions, 10% closed questions.

Rules of thumb are simply that. Not chiselled in stone. However, I would invite you to ask increasingly more open-ended questions each time you hold an inspirational talk and see what the results are.

Generally, I ask the majority of the open-ended questions at the start of the talk, in order to connect, engage and involve the audience; and to uncover the areas that are most relevant to them today. I ask more open-ended questions to raise the energy of the audience, but it's not the only technique.

3. Show you Care

What 'kills' the connection with your audience is the perception that you don't care about them. Of course you do care. The trick is to be seen to care.

• Show you care; listen to their answers.
• Teenagers can give unexpected answers to your questions. Go with the flow. Gently inquire where the answer came from. Ask about their thinking behind their answer and what other questions they may have.
• Pay attention to what they do not tell you. Silence reveals hidden truths.

Tip: When you ask open-ended questions, you are going to get answers. Pay attention to them. Ask for details. Ask for background. Ask for where the answer came from, the values and reasons for it. Ask (you guessed it) open-ended questions, like:

• What does (that) mean?
• When was that?
• In which countries is that true?
• Who told you that?
• What makes that worth telling us?
• What's the deeper reason behind that?

I usually limit myself to three questions directed at one particular teenager at the time. More than that can seem like an inquisition. There are teenagers who long to be asked such questions. Perhaps it's that quiet one sitting near the window? I often ask questions of 'everyone' and see where they land, who responds and who does not.

Tip: It can be appropriate to allow time for reflections before anyone answers. In that case answering in writing, or by talking with a partner before offering an answer to the whole class can be of help.

Tip: Some questions land like bombs. They are followed by a deep silence. It's tempting to fill in that silence with one's own voice. It's preferable to leave the silence alone and let it do its work. I believe that teenagers need moments of silence to reflect on what has been said, and what is not being said. Not all questions need be answered in words. Not all questions need be answered today.

4. Be Vulnerable

Let me be clear about vulnerability. It is an awesome strength! It requires courage to be vulnerable. It is not about being weak, or easily lead or indecisive. It is about being authentic and open about who you are and what's going on for you right now.

• Be vulnerable; use personal details.
• Teenagers need to know who you are before they will listen to you. Let them know that you are knowledgeable. Let them know you are not judgemental, dangerous or spiteful.
• Show them some personal details about yourself OR ask them to guess.
• Go slow. Give them time to ’sniff around’ and discover who you are.

Yes, I did just use a dog-metaphor for teenagers. I would never tell them that, but it's useful to remind myself that they need to sniff around to discover who I am, so that they can decide to open their ears, eyes, minds and hearts to whatever I have to share with them. Alpha Dog.

5. Negotiate the Contents

You already have a plan for your talk. That's your talk. Now negotiate the contents of this talk. Give them the headlines from your plan. And then ask the teenagers:

• What do you need ...
• What do you hope ...
• What do you want ...
• What do you expect to hear from this talk today?

Show that you are taking them seriously by accepting and choosing to talk about what they want to hear.

Rule of thumb: Include: 80% of your planned talking points, 20% their talking points. Yes, another rule of thumb. And yet again I would invite that you include more of their talking points for each inspirational talk that you give and see what happens.

Recently, I went 'all the way', and allowed the teenagers to decide 100% of the talking points. In retrospect, 50% would have been as much as they (and I) could handle on that day. Heigh ho. Still learning!

6. Communicate

Communication, voice, and body language are the most important aspects of an inspirational talk. Not the contents of your talk. Not the information. Not the advice. Not your expertise. Sorry.

Tip: It's not what you tell them that is important. It is how you tell them that makes the difference. Hearts and Minds.

You probably already know that the major part of your communication is your body language. So you don't hide behind a podium, do you? You stand in front of the audience. Don't you?

Teenagers need to know who you are before they will listen to you. So they read your body language as you come into the room, stand in front of them, and get yourself ready. Let them ’smell’ you. You are the Alpha Dog.

Tip: When you speak, ensure your body language matches your words and your message. Video record yourself rehearsing! If you don’t like what you see, neither will they!

Tip: When you speak, use a variety of voices. I have to admit that I do this to an extreme. When talking about work, I 'play' the people that I am describing, my boss, my colleagues etc; and when I'm talking about life, I play the role of my father, my head teacher etc. It adds to the fun. For me.

Where are you on playing roles? How many voices are you comfortable using? How many roles do you play in your talks? 

Tip: In line with the previous tips, I encourage you to add one more voice in the upcoming talks, and notice what happens. Who knows? You might like it?

7. Structure with Intuition

Structure the talk in the moment - use your intuition.

I assume that you have written a plan for your talk. You have a clear beginning, middle and end. You have read it, memorised it, learned it. Great! Put it in your pocket and forget about it. You have already internalised it, that will be good enough. In the talk there will be moments when you can choose from your plan the stories, sub-topics etc.

During the talk, read the room. Use your eyes and ears, as well as your heart. Ask yourself what you are feeling and know that this information is just as important as what your eyes and ears are telling you. If you feel X, say so. It really helps with authenticity to name what's going on in the room, whatever it is, like:

• I feel a bit bored right now
• This subject has got me very excited
• Phew, I have been talking a lot. My mouth is dry!
• I. Am. Lost!
• Oh help. I am sure I planned to show a video there but I can't find it. I feel stupid.

Notice that none of the above are questions. However, there is an embedded question about who else feels the same and what might be done about it. In such moments when things have not gone to plan, got out of hand or dried up, I need and seek support from the audience. Stating what's going on is a great way to invite empathy and solutions.

Tip: (You would never do this eh?) Avoid reading from your plan or notes. It just creates unnecessary distance to your audience.

8. Be Positive

Be positive and humorous. 

Well, naturally. But how? Here are three areas to consider:

1. Keep your communication positive by avoiding the word, ‘not’. Tell them something that is good, empowering or useful rather than something that is bad, dangerous or to be avoided
2. Include humour. Switch between creative and logical thinking. Teenagers need to have both brain halves engaged to learn.
3. Avoid jokes. It’s impossible to always be relevant and respectful in a different culture.

Whenever I am giving advice, I rewrite the description into something positive. I would not say "Be careful not to cut your hand on broken glass.", I would say, "Wearing workgloves is a great way to keep your hands clean and safe from sharp edges." Did you sense the humour there too? Good.

Tip: If this is the first time you have thought about deliberate positivity, I recommend recording yourself so that you can hear what you actually say, then rewrite your advice and practice saying it out loud.

I have to admit that sometimes negative advice does slip from my lips. I might say, "Don't smoke". If I am lucky enough to catch myself saying it, I 'go into reverse' and act the last sentence pretending to move in reverse-slow-motion whilst uttering the words in reverse "ekoms t'noD" (sound a bit like Russian). Then I might say "I am proud of the fact that I quit smoking". It takes practice, but if Michael Jackson can Moon Walk, then I can Moon Talk. The effect of thsi pause-retreat-repeat, is to bring the teenager's attention to the fact that mistakes can often be reversed or rectified, and that adults also need to be allowed to err and be forgiven. A powerful lesson within a lesson.

9. Use Role-play

You won't be surprised to learn that I love to use role-play to attract engagement from the audience. I believe that teenagers need to be seen, and love to show off (not all of them, but you will easily notice the ones who do), so I use it. 

I invite them to come up ‘on stage’ and be part of the talk and use gentle control techniques.

At the start, I say:

• Just say yes or no, and I will follow you
• Make up any answer you like and we can work with it

And at the end, I say:

• Oh and thanks for that wonderful and slightly disturbing input
• You did a great job, now get off my stage

You need to avoid judging what happens otherwise you will be in 'test mode' and that's when the teens will start to get afraid again.

Tip: Role-play is risky. That’s why it works. If you have never done it, seek support from the drama teacher (if there is one) or a local amateur theater group.

10. Timing

Timing; end the talk when it feels right to do so. There’s nothing worse than chewing up other people’s time and energy. If you are done with you talk, say so. You are done. Say bye-bye.

So.

Bye-Bye!

Riccardo Midwinter’s Tales

The author of this article, Martin Richards, has written a few books about holding learning conversations with teenagers. You can find them on Amazon: www.amazon.com/author/coach-martin-richards

The conversation with you continues online at: www.martinrichards.eu