Inspired actions collapses timelines – What drives me? My ‘Why’
Shout out to Simon Sinek whom I enjoy reading, listening to and following, the man speaks so much sense!
Much of who we are is formed between the tender ages of 4 -7 years old. Within this timeline I learnt that a parents’ love isn’t unconditional and in fact they may not even ‘turn-up’ at all. This isn’t a woe is me tale, quite the reverse is helped to form me into the independent, self-sufficient leader whom ‘chooses’ who she trusts rather than nurture forcing the issue. For the record I have the long-term adoration of the man I would have chosen to be my Dad and what could be a better accolade than that? This also helped to reinforce some of my key values:
· Mothering - this includes my leadership style
· Bravery - Often walking the untrodden path (following my heart)
· Visionary - Pioneering action = exponential growth
Why have I chosen the path I tread and why am I choosing brave action rather than staying small and safe in what I know gives me reasonable financial returns (headhunt/recruitment)?
During my journey so far I have been in the unusual yet highly privileged position of supporting some incredible people with mental health conditions who deal with them daily. I’m not sure overcome them is the terminology I would use, however, dealing with them and pushing forwards with sheer grit and determination are more like the adjectives that spring to mind whilst witnessing these journeys.
Rather like the enormous respect I have for the ingenuity, originality and sheer determination of many of the entrepreneurs I encounter there comes a meeting of minds when my worlds align between these component parts.
I said I would look back only to lay context to what I write – here it is:
Forming ACA in 2002, leaving a six figure package corporate director role, I chose to create my own version of excellence, outstanding customer service and a more ‘present’ future for my then very young children. Turning my back on the traditional and expected 70+ hour working weeks, always on the road, living out of hotels across Scotland, Northern Ireland and North-East England, yes, I was loving it……. It fed a growing ‘ego’ and fostered successful outcomes. Fundamentally though it could never totally meet one of my foundation core values ‘Mothering’. As a senior leader of a large team of successful people I was meeting and even pushing boundaries using my mothering leadership style however there was little left over for my 7 and 3 year old so I wasn’t acting congruently with the authentic me.
A mixture of bravery and sheer wonder at the mental health cracks that were appearing across various parts of my close-knit family led to when I now look back the very initial formation of my ‘Why’.
Over the years I have been afforded the opportunity to help and assist many a Senior Leader and entrant into the world of work as their ‘trusted adviser’, this leads naturally to a counselling style of relationship and peoples well-being is a larger part of this role than some may imagine. I trained as a counsellor and furthered my studies within NLP and became an i3 Profiler – all leading me to my ‘Why’.
Over the years I’ve had literally forced upon me the stark realities of people whom the over-whelm of everyday life simply drives them to a place where for their own security and at extremes they can be detained and their own capacity or even those of their parents’ rights are removed, the state takes over. What a marvellous job it can do (sadly not all the time). My ‘Why’ comes when these amazing individuals after all their hard work re-enter what I fondly refer to as the Matrix. Everyday life isn’t as welcoming and as nurturing as if could be. Services and interactions can be downright dis-empowering. Is there any wonder a large majority of people with these life experiences cascade into the ‘what’s the point’ camp and often become dependant on one negative addiction or another?
I will focus on a future of ‘what’s next’, how do we remove the red-tape. Are we providing joined up services that encourage and ‘mother’ peoples lives even if they aren’t ‘traditional family’. Most of us would do literally anything to achieve a positive outcome for our family. What if those same values were applied?
Using my plethora of contacts, my advocacy skills and my never-ending passion to achieve a more welcoming and mothering approach to the re-entry to ‘life’ I’m looking to ‘create the magic’. As a fit, energetic, brave 54 year old with a privileged background formed in the recruitment world I know I can add some magic to this often scary journey.
The collective trauma of COVID 19 has created the very time to bring this to the forefront. Mental Health no longer carries the huge stigma (believe me I know this to have been true), that it once did. Government and therefore Councils are not only sitting up taking notice they are ‘walking their talk’. This is not an article for political debate, this is an article of one Mums view through their child’s eyes and the realisation that instead of waiting for the world to change and catch up, do what you excel at, bring the right people together, facilitate the right conversations leading to inspired actions and collapse those timelines! I can’t wait to share more……… who is with me?
To quote Einstein – we can’t solve the problems with the thinking we used when we created them.
Let’s re-set the button in society, let’s look through a collective lens not an individual lens.
Let’s create a simple structure that formulates a plan where people chose to follow and reach their potential at an increased pace because we are embracing those same mothering skills we use to assist formulating our offspring.
For the many passionate dads out there please use ‘fathering’ – I should say ‘parenting’ however ‘mothering’ has been such a deep core value for me for so long it’s the authentic me showing up, there’s no pre-conceived ideas it’s the ‘right way’. Done , not perfect!
Much love
Allena