INSPIRA DISCIPLINA, develop YOUR character and essence with dynamic focus~ tips to try "Sundays of Solitude & Silence."

Being in Solitude provides a gateway to Inspira Disciplina, whole-person character development defined by learning and leadership principles. But, not much has been investigated about #solitude as an experience - more specifically, it's benefits.

In this article I reveal research findings from my work at #TheOrchard in hopes of inspiring you to consider a few simple tips that not only will make you a better HUMAN, but also tips to #FOCUS on mastering your comfort, confidence, and commitment to discovering YOUR essence with a basic journey into "Sundays of Silence & Solitude."

What is Solitude?

There are real and perceived risks of solitude. So let me state that while solitude can be leveraged as a uniquely human experience to explore, discover, and define your essence of the self and inner character, if you are having thoughts of suicide, loneliness, depression, or are experiencing a life threatening emergency - please REACH for help by dialing 9-1-1.

In the most basic sense, #Solitude was defined by Donald Winnicott as “the capacity to be alone.”

While Friedrich Nietzsche describe a general warning not about solitude itself, but based on “what one takes into solitude that grows there, the beast within included.”

But recent research suggests that solitude is beneficial to creativity. However, due to risks (real or not) perceived about solitude, there is not vast array of published information. This is because solitude, often is used interchangeable with loneliness - a common and negative life influence in many developed nations (Burton, 2017).

But, as Burton outlines “Solitude is the joy of being alone, and is empowering.” This is consistent with research. Individual co-researchers and I have worked with at #TheOrchard, and measured rates of comfort with silence. While loneliness as a lived experience was intently researched by the founder of Heuristic Research (Clark Moustakas) the essence of Solitude and Silence has been an on-going investigation of my based on the humanistic research of Storr (1988).

Ultimately, Anthony Storr (1988) set the parameters for the role of solitude as a philosophy of humanistic research. Citing numerous examples of brilliant scholars and artists—from Beethoven and Kant to Anne Sexton and Beatrix Potter—he argues that solitary activity is essential not only for geniuses, but often for the average person. The Father of Humanistic Psychology, Maslow, even identified that time in solitude was the essence and foundation for those (few) he established as truly having discovered self-enlightenment.

Modern Solitude Research

As a Heuristic researcher, I have worked with countless participants in overcoming PTSD solutions with a key piece of this work built around my customized method: Sundays of Solitude & Silence. I have worked with special forces, military leaders, female veterans and fortune 100 executives to homeless, crime victims and more. In working with Combat Veterans at #TheOrchard, I have routinely used a process of sought-out (or freely chosen) solitude experiences where I measure outcomes based on elements of immediate #wellness and domains of distal #WellBeing.

These events, studied initially using heuristic method with a number of co-researchers revealed several benefits to what we called “Sundays of Solitude & Silence.” To this day, I rely on this method as an essential process of, as Toltskoy defined, character development. 

What I discovered is that solitude can occur while engaged in social activities in as much as “being alone.” This is an important element differentiating well-being activities between individual or collective experiences. With a number of participants expressing frustration or feelings of being overwhelmed in public, the Sundays of Silence & Solitude at a private therapy park, provided a platform to overcome those feelings.

This park, #TheOrchard, is located smack in the middle of one of the most rapidly expanding economies in the nation - Seattle, Wa (#CityofCompanies), and provides the ultimate solution for those struggling in an urban environment (urban areas while at times overwhelming tend to provide more direct and immediate access to support for anxiety, depression, and other PTS/PTSD related struggles that can become life threatening. So while solitude is valuable, being remote is risky. The park provided a solution). This park provides individuals a safe opportunity to gradually increase their comfort, confidence, and commitment to self-discovery by learning to spend time alone, and in silence. Meanwhile, as co-researchers we have been able to develop a greater understanding of benefits and power of solitude.

The process is defined by working weekly toward first not speaking; then not speaking not making sounds. (Sounds including cough, sneeze, crunching, virtually remaining entirely present in life, but completely in silence). And in the final phases of character development intentional immersion into public while remaining completely silent.

What are Benefits of Solitude?

In silence the opportunity to hear without the intent to respond is developed, a critical step in effective interpersonal relationships. Moreover, learning silence in solitude teaches us methods to understand emotion and convey communication without silence. What this means is that instead of responding at the "speed of technology" to our rapid-paced world, participants discovered how to respond at what I define as "THE SPEED OF PATIENCE." Learning this skill is critical at enabling individuals to differentiate appropriate thinking-patterns and decisions based on better REAL-TIME differentiation (For more on Rand's "Differentiation Theory" follow RSOLUTIONS - Research Revealed and #FOCUS2020 for the full publication).

I provide practical tips that elaborate on my article Inspira Disciplina: how to be a better human in 30 days - much as this article elaborates on the Sunday of Silence defined in that read.

Over time individuals learn to become more mindful of their emotions and physiological responses to life-stimulus. When ready, participants have immersed themselves into public to learn to participate and engage - but while remaining silent. Participants in the research reported that in final phases of their study of solitude, the immersion into public while remaining silent, forced them to confront their habits of scowling, burrowed frowns, or being consumed with thoughts and not mindful of the immediate opportunity. They reported deeper awareness and balancing of their responses to lived situations, but ultimately they felt control. The reported a sense of when to engage versus when to confidently be OK in large groups, without feeling overwhelmed. The objective to engage in social environments but without seeking interaction further developing the individual character.

We spend a life-time around others; a life-time in “noise” but very little time in quiet and solitude. For many they reported a deeper understanding of themselves reducing the stress they felt being in crowded places - feeling obligated to participate, but too overwhelmed interact. An experience reversed by “Sundays of Solitude & Silence” where the time was focused and invested around self discovery - to learn and discover personal essence.

Well-Being & Solitude

In my research well-being is used as a basis to capturing the lived Human experience. Such a process includes looking at mental, emotional, organic and essence measurements more commonly defined by thought leaders (Maslow, 1952; Carruthers & Hood, 2007; Covey, 2004, et al) as:

1. Mind, profound thinking (think-first) using mental capacities.
2. Body, organic cultivation beyond thought to physical manifestation of the self.
3. Spirit, essence of all things REAL that count, but can not be counted (Einstein, 1946)
4. Heart, socio-emotional desires passions and purpose

These processes are are both short-term (elements) and distal (domains) in nature. It should be noted that Rath & Harter (2011) helped further clarify that in short-term Well-Being the lived practical experience focuses on: vocational, fiscal, social/emotional, health/wellness as essence is considered among them all and its physical manifestation (religion) may not apply to all, but spirit and essence remains constant. Further the physical development of the organic self is different then health habits - hygiene - that are very "here and now" elements whereas becoming a world-class athlete is a domain of organic-self development that unfolds over a lifetime...

Solitude improves character - the essence - of an individual by creating the necessary experience for individuals to measure the prosperity of their autonomous and collective interactions. What Nitsche and Sorr claimed was not possible when repeatedly distracted by humans having their individual needs. In other words, solitude allows the refueling of what Covey (1991) describes as an emotional bank account. Once charged (or filled) it allows individuals to give more freely when engaged in social activities. While seemingly counter-intuitive, solitude is a more robust and active form of daily meditation - an essence and experience individuals have enjoyed and benefited from for thousands of years.

Thus, solitude provides benefits for emotional and social interaction as through the gift of separation, emotional bonds and desires can be cultivated to benefit the emotional and healthy connection with others. In my research I have found that people engaged in meaningful communication - while remaining silent - cultivate confidence and create happiness and positivity in otherwise mundane activities. They have cultivated modes of communication that are expressive of the entire organic self by using eyes, smiles, physical-essence (energy) to engage, interact, yet remain completely silent. Imagine their dynamic NEW self, when the exit the "Sunday of Silence"...? (Phase 3 participants, see below).

Physically individuals report that too much family-time, work-time, social-time, play-time - wait when is the individual workout? Yoga? These are activities that individuals often set aside while seeking or enjoying the company of others - impacting the organic-self in exchange for increased socio-emotional experiences. Such social activities that have considerable benefit - but when measured against solitude - they create the very distractions and barriers to understanding one's self as Sorr and others defined. As such, solitude allows greater connection to the physical self - as it provides “time to do…” when it comes to learning about one's inner essence.

Mind/Mental-Capacities (profound thinking), the programs I have defined were accredited by the VA, Dept of Defense, Dept of Education, Dept of Labor, AASCB, SLA, SHRM, and a variety of college programs from vocational to post-graduate studies - thus, I hope you trust that the value has been well attended to in order to achieve these recognition in classes and program accreditation. Presently a college director of wellness is managing “TheOrchard spending entire weekends, evenings, and occasional weeks in solitude as part of an on-going research endeavor. These recognition all require demonstration of learning (mental) outcomes from the programs, all rooted to “Sundays of Solitude & Silence” If you wish to understand the robust nature of the educational and learning testing, measurements, and attainments required to have met these multiple achievements, visit www.strategiclearningalliance.org

TIPS TO GET GOING:

1. AIM SMALL, MISS SMALL - start with going to lunch at a quiet place for one hour. Learn to get comfortable being alone and in silence. Gradually challenge yourself to learn how to communicate while remaining totally in silence by selecting more and more busy places to eat.
2. DISTRACTION: make Sunday the journal day! FREE EXECUTIVE PEN? See below
3. ROUTINE: spending ONE long day alone and in silence is great - but can you make it weekly? Monthly? For an entire week? I have worked with some combat veterans that have spent over a week straight in solitude developing and honing their focus, their routine, the value of their selected distraction. So do not celebrate too soon - all things in moderation. Get into a routine and make it a positive system to release creativity related to mental, social/emotional, spiritual, and physical mastery.

To help you with your journey, here are three phases that can guide how to build your comfort with silence, solitude, and then ultimately individual discovery through reflective-meditation and mastering "Sundays of Silence & Solitude."

1. PHASE ONE: focus on a routine that distracts you. For example, go to the gym then watch Sunday football - great ways to hone the skill of total time spent ALONE and IN SILENCE. Keep your phone away and other items that might cause you to speak or try to connect with others institutionally and break your silence by accident. For the first month of phase one focus on 4 hours at least once a week, with up to three periods by the final week of the month.
2. PHASE TWO: increase the time alone by emphasizing breathing exercises, yoga/stretching, and writing in you journal. Free your mind to focus on you by worrying less about distractions and times and focusing more on discovering you. Not sure what to write? Start with your dreams. Keep a journal ALL WEEK of key images, then spend Sunday ALONE and IN SILENCE. Notice in this phase that the routine and quality of distraction is increasingly becoming more focused on understanding the self? Develop your performance over several attempts so that you build toward three full days of complete and total solitude and silence before advancing to phase three.
3. PHASE THREE: when you feel fully capable you should arise as 7am, engage in physical activity, mental improvement (research, writing, and reflection) of your weekly life performance and goals, you should feel comfortable to spend up to 4 hours immersed in the public without speaking or making ANY sound, and you should feel comfortable to return home, meditate on your day, your interactions, and complete any physical development routine.

Social Celebration: when you pull off phases two and three, spend the final hours of the day on the phone in REAL conversation with a REAL friend (or even friends). Not text, not face-time, but in-person over coffee (or on the phone if you must). You earned it.

Summary

In conclusion, remember that "people do not wash rented cars" so selecting your own "PROCESS" to define the Sunday of Solitude and Silence EXPERIENCE is they key FOCUS you should take. It is also important when to know and invest by CHOICE into self-reflection. Solitude and slip into loneliness (for real, perceived or life-stress created situations). So create a plan - solitude does not mean going "off-grid" or "disappearing." What it means is communicating to others that you value your meditative self-reflection time and effort; so set the goal, communicate with others, and #FOCUS on what you can discover. In doing so you will unlock a level of profound understanding that you can not imagine.

Spending time in solitude is BEST when you have FREELY CHOSEN which is a key element of well-being measurements. If you are concerned that this won't work - then consider my tips for being a better human in 30 days. In that 30 day process, incorporating 5 simple daily tips, you will unlock a discovery about yourself that will challenge your ability to really master "Sundays of Silence & Solitude."

Embrace the experience; when you have defined your planned effort to "build into a routine" that is written out (paper to pen, not fingers to computer). If you are struggling with feelings of loneliness, please REACH an independently certified professional coach, or emergency crisis line, including dialing 9-1-1 if you feel suicidal. Do not confuse development of the character and time in solitude with feelings of being trapped, alone, sad, and internally hurting. And, remember - PAPER AND PEN - when writing in your journal.

The written word is the key to education and enlightenment, but when we lose the ability to write by hand - we will lose the written word. - Rand

.................................................FOCUS2020......................................................

More about Dr J Paul Rand at www.jpaulrand.com - receive your FREE executive pen valued at $45 by contacting RAND via his website. Photo by Chris Saint Germain

About #TheOrchard

An Heuristic Research Psychologist (PhD) with over 20 years experience in this niche research capacity. My dissertation focused on aspect of your question as it pertains to using well-being measures capture the human experience for combat soldiers on long distance motorcycle rides - much of which was an experience of type of solitude. In my publication THE ORCHARD: PTSD Solutions by Combat Veterans, we review the process of self-discovery at a reflective retreat built around my 5th Element Wellness System in Seattle, Washington - THE CITY OF COMPANIES. This center - connecting the mind, body spirit and heart to specific life elements (fire, air, water, earth). The outcomes include endorsement by the Traumatic Brain Institute for research and outcomes achieved with combat veterans participating in my system. (I want to note, all veterans and services have been 100% probono for over a decade).

The system is rooted in a simple concept:

A concept I define on the basis that, “people do not wash rented cars.”

I worked with veterans through a series of process to develop well-being on my private therapy and recreation park, see articles at #TheOrchard #inspira #TheOrchard #veterans #military #inspira

References: 

Burton, N. (2017). The Joy of Solitude. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201711/the-joy-solitude 

https://academyofideas.com/2017/08/psychology-of-solitude/