INSIGHTS INTO HOW THE MIND WORKS THAT CAN SHIFT HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF: PART 1

As we plunge into winter, my beautiful trip to sunny Alicante, where I immersed myself in an exploration of human potential, seems longer than a month ago.

However, I have been exploring more deeply the three profound possibilities that arise when we see the implications of how we function psychologically.

As part of the Viva Event in Alicante, one of the keynote speakers was Joe Bailey, a highly experienced psychologist and author of books such as The Serenity Experience, Slowing Down to the Speed of Life (with Richard Carlson), and his latest offering, Thriving in the Eye of a Hurricane.

In his talk, Joe talked about the three transformational shifts that he sees occur in people when they gain insight into who they are at their core and how they function psychologically.

Below, I share my perspective on the first of these insights and the relevance of living a life of peace, joy, and freedom. I'll cover the other two insights in forthcoming articles.

INSIGHT 1: There is a part of us that Is forever whole and complete, pure and uncontaminated—a diamond within, peace within the hurricane of life.

This insight sounds lovely in theory and can appeal to a seeking and curious mind. However, knowing this intellectually is never enough. Why? Because the intellect is a meaning-making machine driven by the need for knowledge and control. As the old proverb goes, ‘the mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master.’ Again, we can all know this intellectually, but it gets categorised as a ’good idea’, and as we do our best to navigate the noise and unpredictability of day-to-day life, it soon gets tucked away at the bottom of the sock drawer of our minds.

So, what is the most prevalent belief people possess that obscures the possibility that we are, at our core, beyond who we think we are?

Simply put, so many people believe that they are broken or damaged goods or that a part of them will never be ‘enough’. In a recent leadership workshop, I invited people to share a fear or internal judgement that they never or rarely share with other people. The clear theme to emerge orientated around ‘no matter what I achieve, I fear I will never be enough.’ Well, when we believe what happens in the circumstances of our lives will be a factor in whether we will ever feel enough, we will forever be pursuing a mirage. When our self-worth is based on a fragile and ever-changing self-image, the seeking will always come from a place of lack. The question I invite you to ponder is:

How can we ever be less or more of something we already are?

I invite you to consider that you can never find that elusive ‘enough-ness’ when looking outside at the circumstances of your life. You cannot think your way to what you already are at your core. It is a process of revealing and discovering who you already are, like peeling an onion of all the contaminated thinking, beliefs, assumptions and innocently misguided ideas of who we think we are.

I am currently putting together a keynote talk and workshop entitled ‘The Design for Success: A User’s Manual to the Mind’. My opening gambit is to start at the beginning of human life with a picture of a joyous baby, like the header of this article.

That image of unadulterated joy is none other than me on my first birthday. My Mum was always great at making the most unique birthday cakes, and as you can see, I appear utterly delighted. While I knew what cake was then, I had no concept of birthdays and what it meant to be one year old. What I did know but could not conceptualise was that I was born with the innate gift to be happy, joyous and resilient. To be creative, courageous, loving and kind.

This way of seeing the gifts we are born with sidesteps the nature versus nurture debate. Yes, a nurturing and loving environment helps us thrive later in life. Yes, genes get switched on and off depending on the environment in which we are brought up and exposed to. But who lies at the core of his being, in this case, 1-year-old me?

?As a possibility, I invite you to consider this statement:

?“We are born enlightened; we are born as love; we are born as pure potential. At our core, we are already self-actualised, connected to the wholeness of life.”

I invite any parent or anyone who has held a new-born baby to consider this statement. How true does it feel as a possibility? I am pointing to who we are in our very essence before we become attached to the idea that all we are as separate selves are the traits, preferences, and dispositions we develop through life.

I'm reminded of the original work of Abraham Maslow, the humanistic psychologist whose work most of us know through learning the hierarchy of needs, with self-actualisation (later changed to self-transcendence in his writings) sitting at the top of a pyramid and all the bottom our basic survival needs. When you dig into this, you find that Maslow himself did not create the pyramid. Indeed, when you look into his original research into the indigenous Blackfoot First Nation community, you find a different way of seeing what a new-born baby is.? In their eyes, the unborn baby is already self-actualised, and the role of the community is to nurture this.

This shows up in my work with clients when they touch that space inside of them when they become less identified with their individual thought systems, beliefs and ideas of who they are and who they can become. I am always listening for the qualities people experience in themselves and how they show up in the world when the stranglehold of their ego-oriented self is loosened. Words that frequently come up are:

?Peace of mind

Wisdom

Clarity

Freedom

Ease

Flow

Love

Awareness

Understanding

Contentment

Resilience

Happy

It’s when we experience any or some of the above that we touch our deeper essence. There is information in the embodied feeling that is guiding us home.

What I am pointing to is that we are all born with the capacity to experience the above in ways that are unique to us as individuals. This is the intelligence of life being expressed through us. Indeed, one of the proxies I use for observing my clients' progress in both the inner and outer game of life is how quickly they bounce back when experiencing a sense of stress or being overwhelmed. Time and again, I see their innate resilience showing up as their psychological immune system works its magic, often without any conscious doing but rather through an elevated understanding of how the mind works and who they are at their core. This IS the design for success. Indeed, I also look for evidence of my clients spending more time ‘in flow’ where they have truly got out of their own way, experienced as full engagement in life, productivity, creativity and what some may call ‘performing at their best’ (whilst enjoying the ride).

One of my favourite quotes perfectly captures what I am inviting you to explore is this:

“All we are is peace, love and wisdom, and the power to create the illusion we are not.”

Jack Pransky

When such a beautiful quote resonates with us, it bypasses the intellect. This is where words can only point, but like pointing to fire with ice, you can never get that close. However, that resonant feeling of being touched or moved in some way often comes with a deep sense of inner knowing, which often has a quality of lightness, ease and grace. That is the sign you are looking in the right direction, touching that space within that you were born as and will forever remain. The peaceful eye of the hurricane that life can often feel like.

Final Thoughts

If the above feels too elusive or intangible, my invitation is to take your exploration slowly. Simply to notice those moments when you are feeling at peace inside and those moments when you are caught up in your personal thinking. By bringing presence, awareness and acceptance to our experience of life when we are lost in an inner hurricane made of thought, that alone can help us disentangle ourselves from our personal thinking.

This is where the second insight comes into play, where we use (and misuse) the power and gift of thought to create our experience of ourselves and reality that can serve or work against us. I will explore this in the next instalment of this three-part series soon.

?Thank you for reading.

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If you live in the vicinity of Manchester, I am running a one-day immersive small group workshop at my new home on Saturday 27th January 2024 where we will explore The Design For Success: A User’s Manual to the Mind’. It’s low fee and also includes lunch and hot drinks. You can sign up here or send a PM for more details. https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-design-for-success-a-users-manual-to-the-mind-tickets-775445116217?aff=oddtdtcreator