Insights: Frustration arises when our perception of the world does not match our expectations.

Insights: Frustration arises when our perception of the world does not match our expectations.

Frustrated defending a fiction

Frustration arises when our perception of the world does not match our expectations.??

When the IS doesn’t match the OUGHT, as far as our mind is concerned.

One of the most insidious manifestations of this is when the world doesn’t align with something we?really really want?to be true.??

So many of the tropes of Hollywood include the hero simply not listening to the facts and is implored to “just believe”.??

We’ve allowed ‘felt experience’, ‘different ways of knowing’, ‘anecdote’, and ‘alternative facts’ to become valid forms of argument.

In 13 years of executive and leadership coaching I’ve never had anyone regret dropping their fictions and being authentic about what is probably true. Even if that causes some short term upset.

Looking reality in the eye can be scary, but it is rarely overwhelming and usually leads to better outcomes than the alternative.

Some questions:

  • What beliefs or hopes am I attached to here?
  • What am I trying to protect?
  • If I refuse to ‘play confused’ what might I see?


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Executive Briefing: The Parley Framework

Is the pressure on your leaders showing up in irritation, friction, and wasting time and energy in argument?

Want them to work together, to drive important business projects forward?

I’m running a how-to workshop at the end of the month for senior executives, business owners and HR leaders?to?build cohesion in your leaders.

To take them from isolated and stressed to calm, in control and dynamic, working well together.

The workshop will take place on Wednesday 30 August?at 9am.

You can learn more and sign up here >>


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The ROI of a mentally healthy workplace

Many of the Senior Leaders I speak with about the mental health of their people are stuck between a board-imposed KPI (that they’re not really sure how to fix, given the board also says “Do More with Less”) - and their personal sense of burnout and overwhelm.

“How can I help them - when I’m drowning myself?”

As professional problem-solvers, leaders don’t know how, or even IF, this is solvable. They kick the can down the road and look to solve the current ‘crisis’ first.

Few understand that it is an investment.

Not just in the mental wellbeing, but also in the positive outcomes that it delivers.

Greater creativity, faster problem solving, collaboration, and increased momentum on important organisational objectives.

Calm, confident, and open people are more consistent and productive

Safe Work Australia has had a few practice swings with a stick - developing some?robust guidelines?about employer obligations to minimise psychosocial risk - stress, low job control, burnout, pace of change, and conflict. But the carrot is pretty good.??

The positive benefit of the investment that is worth focusing on; as PWC clearly demonstrated in a landmark study in?2014:

“Every dollar invested in mental health has a positive return…an average of $2.30 upwards.”

Some simple first steps:

  • Focus on one thing at a time - ‘priority’ ought not be a plural
  • Provide space - creativity REQUIRES open, agenda-less mindstates
  • Speak more slowly than you feel - the time taken to listen can feel like, but isn’t, a waste of time.

If you want to know what is possible, let me know.

Cheers

Nigel

www.nigeldonovan.com

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