Insider Shorts: What, the F?

In a college far, far away, I took a creative writing class. I was the “bestest” writer in all the land and was expecting an “A” on an excellent short story I had turned in for a class assignment. To my young twenty-year-old eyes came shock and dismay at the “F” that I had received. Why the failing grade? I had 3 or more punctuation mistakes in my story.

Now before I go off on a rant about the course being “Creating Writing” not “Proper Punctuation Please,” I will say that I am a better writer and speller because of this “F.” But enough about me, moving on now.

EATS, SHOOTS & LEAVES

Five unionized delivery drivers drive for local milk and cream company Oakhurst Dairy without ever being paid any overtime. One day the drivers decided perhaps they were due overtime after all.

“Why? Why are you suddenly demanding overtime pay when Maine law says overtime rules do not apply to you?” asks the company representative. One of the drivers produces a poorly punctuated Maine Overtime Rules book and tosses it up to the judge.

“While we are drivers, we are in fact, exempt from those rules,” he says in court. “Look it up.”

The judge turns to the relevant entry and sure enough, finds an explanation.

Overtime rules do not apply to:

The canning, processing, preserving, freezing, drying, marketing, storing, packing for shipment or distribution of:

(1)   Agricultural produce;

(2)   Meat and fish products; and

(3)   Perishable foods.

THE $10 MILLION COMMA

The judge ruled for the drivers all because of a missing comma in the following portion of the sentence: “packing for shipment or distribution of:”

You see, the serial comma or the Oxford comma is a comma used just before the coordinating conjunction (in this case “or”) when 3 or more items or terms are listed. Geez, everybody knows that, right?

Is packing (for shipment or distribution) a single activity that is exempt from overtime pay? Or are packing and distributing two different activities, and both exempt?

Obviously, the driver’s interpretation was that you could choose one or the other, not both.

theSHORT

Can’t see the forest for the trees. While this is all expensively silly, referring to when to use a comma or when not to use one, the bigger picture is why do these types of laws exist? Why are these activities related to agricultural produce, meat & fish products, and perishable foods exempt from overtime rules in the first place? One of the activities is “marketing,” yes marketing - are you kidding me? I think the judge ruled in their favor just because of the brilliant gamesmanship of introducing the Oxford comma as a defense. 

In thinking about labor relations, you might want to check the punctuation in your employee handbooks and social media policies.