Inquiry into the Self

“Any valid inquiry begins with not-knowing, or else it merely serves to confirm what is already known.”

— Peter Ralston, The Book of Not Knowing

The following is my exploration of the self. If you're also curious, feel free to join in.

Do I truly know myself? Do I know who I am? Society has taught me that I am a "soul" with a body, mind, and spirit. I am shaped by my experiences, my personality a reflection of them. But if I strip all that away and start from nothing, who or what am I?

I am not my body—losing a limb wouldn’t change who I am.

Am I the voice in my head? There’s constant thinking, emotions that arise. Yet, I can't silence my thoughts or feelings, not even for a minute. They come unbidden; I don’t control them. If I were these thoughts and feelings, I would be powerless to control myself.

But who says there has to be a self? What if no self is needed at all? What remains then?

Still, there’s the possibility of a self. When I go back to my earliest memory—crying in kindergarten—can I trust that memory? Memory is fallible, shaped by bias, and just another concept in my mind. If I can’t validate myself from the beginning, how can I truly know who I am?

So, I turn to the present, the only reality I have. I observe my vision, hearing, and the sensations in my body. But these sensations are fleeting, constantly changing, just like my thoughts.

I cannot definitively say who I am. I am uncertain whether the self exists or not. What I do know is that I experience a continuous flow of thoughts and feelings. But I cannot pinpoint the receiver of these experiences.

In the end, perhaps the inquiry itself is more important than finding a definitive answer. By questioning the nature of the self, I am engaging with the mystery of existence. Whether or not I ever arrive at a conclusion, the act of inquiry deepens my understanding and appreciation of the present moment. This journey of self-inquiry is a life-long process, an ongoing exploration that evolves with each experience and thought. It may never lead to a final answer, but it’s a path worth walking for the insight and growth it brings along the way.