Inquiries aplenty, intelligence in abundance & still we don't have a scooby ...

My last newsletter -the one where I shared details of my career lows - was phenomenally popular. Clearly, people like to read about failure.

The result, though, was that I found myself with writer's block. So my profuse apologies for leaving you with nothing sensible to read last Sunday. Hope the real newspapers did the job but on the off chance they, instead, chose to focus on what was happening in a jungle far far away, here's a scoot through the main news items of the last fortnight.

Please note: this is my third attempt at writing this thing - kept losing it. So it's even more random and disjointed than usual. But it's here and that's the main thing.

Pointing the Finger but Missing the Point

Look, I'm human but even I am getting a bit tired of seeing Dom, Boris, Sajid, Matt et al throw rocks at each other.

I thought the point of the Covid Inquiry was to learn for the future. Which modelling worked well, which was out by a country mile; what alternative strategies could have been pursued as an alternative to complete lockdown; what was the right forum for decision making etc.

Instead we have days and days of Matt, Boris, Dom, Sajid and the rest of them pointing fingers at each other like naughty schoolboys passing the buck and whilst it's vaguely amusing it really isn't getting us anywhere is it? It's not as though we need yet another inquiry to tell us that Downing Street was dysfunctional, Matt Hancock lies, Boris flip flops and Dominic Cummings thinks he's the smartest man on the planet.

I'm with Lord Sumption on this one, he recently concluded that "only lessons we will learn ... are that officials should not dig themselves into defensive positions when confronted by dissent and that ministers should be more competent and diligent than Messrs Johnson and Hancock".

A Gentleman

I once met Alistair Darling. I sat next to his wife, Maggie at a dinner and she was absolutely lovely. We were both writing blogs at the time (they were the new new thing). Hers was to share cookery recipes with family and friends and mine ... well, the less said about mine the better. We agreed to follow each other, taking our total followers up to 19 each.

Anyway, back to Alistair. He seemed very nice and from everything that I've heard and read over the last few days it would appear he was a thoroughly decent and kind man and dedicated public servant. A very sad loss.

It does make you wonder what trouble we might have got into had the current crop been in charge when the global financial crisis hit. Actually, it really does NOT bear thinking about.

Carpe Diem

On a more sombre note, the news of Alistair Darling's death really hit me hard. He was 70. It's no age is it.

When my friend, Deb, and I set up She's Back and offered advice to women who were thinking of leaving work to take care of a young family, our advice used to be "Play the Long Game". Meaning, whatever you decide to do, please make sure you have a plan because having young children is a temporary condition and you'll need a life long after they've ditched you and gone to live their own.

Well, I can tell you, I'm playing the long game no longer. It's seize the day from now on. Which is why I'm writing this little ditty from the French alps. No longer bound by school holiday dates, I'm enjoying the opening weekend of the season. Bloomin' freezing, but I've heard it's just as bad in London. And there is no skiing there.

Good Governance

You may recall that one of my career failures came about when Arthur Andersen collapsed because of the Enron scandal. Prior to its own demise, Enron was a cherished and much lauded client of a few cherished and much lauded Andersen partners. Now, I don't know this for certain but I have a suspicion that corners may have been cut when doing the due diligence on client acceptance. When a client is worth sooooo much money, it must be tempting to believe that everything is on sound footing.

Similarly, when a bunch of partners are bringing in soooooooo much cash, they must be great, yes? Rainmakers. Gods.

Or, perhaps, monsters. We'll never know.

Which is where boring old "good governance" comes in. So that there are processes in place to make an assessment between the two or, in any case, to check that no-one's taking any chances that need not be taken.

I read, with interest, about the Board of OpenAI sacking Sam Altman because, apparently, he hadn't been "consistently candid in his communications" (does this mean he lied?). And then he was swiftly reinstated and most of the Board was sacked instead.

Fishy.

Meanwhile, another God who turned out to be a monster, Sam Bankman-Fried, is trading Mackerel for a haircut inside Booklyn jail.

Also fishy.

Theranos, Enron, FTX, Worldcom .... when the dust settled did anyone say "If only we'd had a bit less governance dragging us all down ...."

Where was the Intelligence

The funniest thing was how the whole debacle was, ultimately, caused by people. Human beings. The board were clearly inept in the way they either made their decisions, carried them out, or communicated them (maybe all three). Their plans were quickly scuppered by hundreds of people - employees - threatening to resign (with or without their dignity intact), leaving no people to programme the AI, presumably, which, it would appear, is not yet smart enough to programme itself.

I can't say I hold out much hope for the British Government, who reckon that their new AI Incubator will lead to a huge increase in productivity thus reducing the size of the civil service.

I mean, where to begin with that one. First of all, when was the last time a brilliant new idea came out of a Government department (Eat Out to Help Out anyone), and second of all just take a look at the language and skill set of the chap who heralded the announcement

Here he is, Oliver Dowden sitting in his nice leather armchair who said this: "It's the closest thing to a silver bullet .... it's about trying to get a hit squad, a type of crack squad, that is going to get out there and ..identify innovative solutions to problems." I doubt I'm the only one who doesn't hold out much hope here. Poor Oliver doesn't seem to have a scooby what he's talking about.

I've looked him up and he's spent most of his working life either working for the Conservative party. Except for a short stint working in PR, where he clearly honed his communication skills.

Jeremy Who

Have you noticed they don't let Jeremy Hunt out very often. Little wonder really. His big wow factor 2% off National Insurance lasted about 3 hours before a million (possibly a small exaggeration) economists had trashed it and explained just how the tax burden will continue to increase for all of us little people.

And don't get me started on corporation tax. When I set up my company, CT was 19%. It's now 25% and, like many businesses in the UK, it's a services company and so despite wracking my brains for ideas, I can't think of any investment in plant and machinery that's going to help me reduce the tax bill.

Small comfort, though, the legal recruitment market is not exactly buoyant at the moment so there is a chance I'll qualify for a lower rate on account of not making very much in the way of profits. Very small comfort. Miniscule.

Who Gives a Scoobie

Please can someone explain who this Omid Scobie is and why the newspapers and TV channels seem to be giving him so much publicity for a book for which he appears to have no credentials to have written?

Tell you what's a bit funny though. It does strike me that just as Boris once thought he'd hit the jackpot finding his lapdog Dominic Cummings, only to find the the lapdog was more of an XL Bully, Meghan and Harry probably rue the day that they decided to use Mr Scobie to "air their truth". Except, no, scratch that, they had nothing to do with that first book. He did all the research himself. No help from them.

The Culture Bit

I'm holding off: Watching Slow Horses series 3. Saving it for a rainy day.

I'm watching: The Hour. Missed it first time round. Really enjoying it. Love Ben Whishaw.

I'm reading: The Secret Hours by Mick Heron, author of Slow Horses. Can't go complete cold turkey. Also finished Water by John Boyne. Do give it a go. It's beautiful

I'm not reading: The Booker prize winner. Think this year's list was sub standard. Read The Bee Sting - all 600 pages of it - and have never been quite so cross at an ending. Also, it wasn't as funny as it was made out to be. And although I started Western Lane by Chetna Maroo, it didn't wow me. I'm not at all biased and it isn't a reaction to three of the shortlist being called Paul but I do think this year's Women's prize for fiction list was a lot better.

I'm listening to: The Rest is History. Had a long journey last week so listened to a series about JFK's road to the White House and subsequent assassination. Very interesting.

That's all folks. Bon ski. Or whatever it is you're up to this week.