Inner Voices

Have you ever noticed that you have been continuously talking to yourself? The “voices,” inside our head keep commenting on our moment-to-moment experiences. These voices guide us, soothe us and punish us. Listening to our selves, is really good but it should not dominate you always.

How Do We Develop These Inner Voices?

According to psychologists, these voices are developed from our experiences in childhood. These are the automatic neural pathways developed to protect us from the perceived dangers of the outside world. If in the past we have experienced any embarrassing situation, the inner voice will stop us from all types of situations which may lead us to embarrassment. For instance, if a kid has tripped from the slide and felt embarrassed, his inner voice will stop him from taking any risk in life, by reminding him how embarrassed he could feel when he will encounter failure.

What Are These Voices?

Self-talk is a combination of our conscious thoughts and unconscious beliefs and biases. It’s an effective way to interpret and process our daily experience. However, it goes wrong when the self-talk becomes negative and targeted towards one’s self. Negative inner voice can make us feel miserable when it gets out of control. These demoralizing thoughts are continually brewing in our brains. These types of negative thoughts can be a source of constant drain of energy. The more we try to stop the louder it becomes.

When Do These Voices Take Over?

If we leave these voices unnoticed, we are gradually swayed away by these thoughts/voices. The fears and failures of past start haunting us, making us believe that the outside world is too dangerous and that we need to obey their rules for living in order to survive and avoid pain. We become rigid and unresponsive to the outer world. Our behaviors and emotional responses become a reflection of yesterday’s reality, rather than what is happening today. We never seem to escape our dysfunctional childhoods.

For instance, Hina developed an extreme sense of insecurity and abandonment. When she was seven years old, her father divorced her mother and then she never saw her father again. She unconsciously felt guilty and blamed herself for not being lovable enough to have her father around. Even after years, such feelings keep intruding in her daily life, to protect her from the pain that she felt during childhood. She became very sensitive to rejection, seeing the usual ups and downs of children’s friendships as further proof that she was unlovable and destined to be abandoned, which made her more isolated in her life.

How To Stay In Control?

These voices can be really painful and demoralizing, but the good news is that it can be controlled. Following are a few tips to avoid it.

1. Keep a check on your thoughts. Always ask yourself before taking action; am I doing the right thing? Am I responding due to my emotions? How would others react to this situation?
2. Writing down your thoughts is also a better way to rationalize your feeling.
3. Meditation helps calm down the inner chaos in mind. So make it a regular practice
4. Discuss it with your friend or anyone trusted.

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