The Inner Voice
Last week, I participated in a coaching training session Coaching and Creativity facilitated by Pam Weeden of The Academy of Leadership and Management, where we delved into the realm of our inner voices. Working in pairs we were tasked with discussing moments when we had been overly critical of ourselves. Admittedly, I hesitated to shine a spotlight on this aspect of my psyche, as my inner critic has been particularly vocal in recent months. Taming it feels akin to containing a wild tiger.
?During our discussion, my fellow coach Thierry Gregorius Gregorius shared his experience of self-critique: his inner voice chided him for spending time writing a blog instead of taking a leisurely walk. What struck me was the stark contrast between the gentleness of his inner dialogue and the harshness of mine. As we progressed to exploring the emotions evoked by our inner voices, I found repeated back to him his inner voice including words like "smug” “waste of time” and "no one is interested”.
?The discomfort I felt in uttering these words was palpable. They lacked any semblance of kindness or empathy, qualities I strongly believe in. Thierry, too, was taken aback by the harshness of these words; they pierced through him like arrows, revealing the true nature of our inner critics as nothing short of bullies.
?It was a profound realisation for both of us: if we stand firmly against bullying in society, why do we allow ourselves to be bullied by our own thoughts? We must confront and challenge our inner bullies with the same resolve we would muster against any external aggressor.
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?In a final exercise, we explored the transformative power of self-compassion. Revisiting our conversation with compassionate language illuminated the brilliance of Thierry's actions: despite foregoing his walk, he had dedicated over two hours to crafting a blog that promises to be both insightful and beneficial to others navigating the transition from full-time work to coaching.
?I, for one, eagerly anticipated reading Thierry's blog. It's a testament to his resilience and creativity, and a reminder that self-compassion is the antidote to our inner bullies.
?I have just read his blog and as I did so I filled up. It is insightful and compassionate. It tells his journey and how he bravely leapt from the pressures of the corporate world into working as a coach. It also gives solid advice for those of us considering the transition.? I filled up as I read it and how his inner voice had rallied against him. A good reminder that we are all our worst critics, and we need to work hard to banish our inner critical voice. To read his blog click here.
I coach educational leaders who want to improve their professional life. I help them to feel more in control, increasingly positive despite the challenges they face, so they can achieve their professional aims.
10 个月A good read. Parallels with the ‘Chimp Paradox’ here. I did a lot of Mindset coaching outside of education but increasingly use aspects of it with the school leaders I coach.
Owner Leadership Edge building sustainable coaching cultures in schools ?? Owner North Star Coaching & Supervision empowering individuals and coaches to be at their best??Big picture. Small steps.??
10 个月Insightful piece, Cazzie, reminding us that what we have going on inside our own head might be very different from somebody else. We don’t often talk about our inner critic even though it’s a huge influence on our day-to-day and long-term decision-making. When we do acknowledge it, in a safe and supported arena, it can prompt us to work on creating a positive shift. This happens all the time in the physical world (I notice others doing/having/saying xxx and I’d like to work towards that); to be exposed to a positive role model for our inner world can be really powerful (ahhhhh so they think/believe/say that to themselves… I’d like to work towards that). As all change, it starts with self-awareness and a vision of where you’d like to get to. Sounds like a brilliant session, thanks for sharing ??
speaker | coach | governor | ally | The Mona Lisa Effect? | #WellbeingFirst
10 个月Thanks for tagging and sharing, Caz. This resonates very loudly with me too, and, I reckon, with many in our networks.
Leadership Coach & Facilitator | Coaching Supervisor
10 个月Thank you Caz for this powerful reflection. And thanks to Pamela Weeden for hosting a great coaching workshop! Maybe I should have added the inner critic as lesson no. 21 on my blog :) “Dear Inner Critic, thank you for trying to protect me but the evidence shows I can handle it from here.” All the best, hope your semi-marathon went well! Thierry
TEDx, Keynote & Motivational Speaker | Author | Business Coach for speakers and aspiring speakers | Founder & CEO at 100 Lunches & 100 Speakers| 40 under 40 Business Elite | People Connector
10 个月Great to hear about your coaching training session! Taming the negative inner voice can be challenging, but having a leadership coach by your side can make a significant difference. Your article sounds like a valuable resource for addressing this important topic. Keep up the great work! ??