The Inner Mentor - Inspiring action

I have learned many times that the way I speak to myself, specifically the language I use, has a huge impact on my ability and willingness to commit. Whether it's a commitment to my health, my relationships or any kind of goal, the perspective I start with is reflected in the results I get. I am writing this letter on the 26th December 2022 it is only a few days until the new year. Every new year many of us reflect upon the year we just had and set goals and intentions that will benefit us in the year ahead. Having researched this there are many stats that I could mention here, all differing slightly, but all showing that most people that set new years resolutions quit within the first couple of months. So why?

Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.

Brad Paisley

I often reflect on the teachers and mentors in my life that have impacted me. Those people that have inspired me to take action, and to follow through and stick to my goals.

What they didn't do:

• Those people didn't make me feel obliged to succeed.
• They didn't scare me into taking action for fear of what bad thing might happen if I was not to take action.
• They never judged my goals for being too big or too small.

Even though I know that fear can be a good motivator. For me and I believe for many of us, the problem with motivation through fear is that the moment we see an easy way out when things get hard we take it. This is because fear alone clouds the potential growth and benefit of the goal.

So what did those who mentored me to achieve actually do or say?

• They inspired me. This means they highlighted all the benefits of the struggle, the work and the effort in the long run.
• They showed belief in me and encourage self belief.
• They were honest about the potential struggles along the way so that I wouldn't be surprised by them.

This reflection of how my mentors have supported me in my growth and success has helped me guide my most important and effective mentor; MYSELF.

The way I speak to myself, and the language I use supports me in committing and following through with my goals, even when things get hard. Here are some of the things I do:

1. I make my goals BIG! I like to stretch myself by setting goals that in that moment seem almost unachievable. I find that when the goal is BIG, my level of attention, and focus matches it. It also inspires those around me and I get support and cheerleading from friends and family.
2. I break the actions down to bite size steps. Once I have my BIG goals I break them down to achievable bite size steps. For example, 1% improvement every day feels very achievable, and after a month that is around 30% improvement which is HUGE! The mistake most people make is try to achieve too much too quickly and ultimately fail or give up. ?Melissa Gratias,?Ph.D., workplace productivity coach and speaker says - “Breaking tasks down helps us to see large tasks as more approachable and doable, and reduces our propensity to procrastinate or defer tasks, because we simply don’t know where to begin,”
3. I make an action vs non-action list. By fully understanding what can happen in my life if I take action vs not taking action on this goal, I have found it much easier to feel motivated to commit to the change.
4. I write a promise to myself. I write a letter to myself with a promise to keep going, to try my best and to keep focused on the goal. This letter remains encouraging and inspiring.
5. Milestone rewards. I set milestones to hit and make sure to reward myself when I hit each milestone. This makes sure that I am seeing progress. Noticing what is working and what may need to be changed.

It is not a complicated process, it is intentional. An intentional process of encouragement, motivation and recognition that has increased my growth and progress so much.

There will be plenty of obstacles as you work towards achieving your goals, don't be one of them.

Your coach,

James