The Inner Game

The irony and opportunity before me is to be curious to consider and act on others’ wise counsel, similar to what I provide to the clients I coach.

My inner game will strongly influence the results, in one direction or the other. By inner game, I mean the internal dialogue I have that reflects my mindset and attitude, values, assumptions, and moods. They are the lens through which I view and interpret the world.?either encouraging my awareness, choice, and trust in my own perspective and focus, or tinging me with judgment, overcontrol, and doubt about that perspective’s validity.

As articulated by W. Timothy Gallwey, author of The Inner Game of Work, performance (in any domain) can be understood as potential minus interference (P = p – i). Seldom does performance equal potential. In other words, things like doubt, misalignment, or erroneous assumptions will diminish one’s performance. It becomes relevant and important to become aware of them, to exercise the choice to shift or remove them, and have trust and faith in the supportive actions taken. Further encouragement comes from Adam Grant’s book, Think Again. He points to the importance of seizing the moment to rethink one’s position, being willing to thoughtfully reevaluate one’s point of view, its grounding, and assumptions.

I’m dealing with a recent health challenge, cancer. In trying to fashion a stance about my condition and its resolution, the perspective I came up with was “realistically optimistic”. While that sounds reasonable, I’m less sure that I want to be reasonable about getting out of this alive.

I was having a conversation with Elix Cintron, a fellow coach, colleague, and friend. He had wanted to chat to support me about my condition. A story he told me illustrated the point that our attitude matters. A seemingly hopeless situation miraculously turned around, for no apparent reason. Perhaps it was the belief Elix and his husband had that things would work out well, and their actions to bring that about. They were “wildly optimistic” about that outcome, without evidence.

Elix pointed out how important our attitude, words, declarations, and mindset are to how we view life and engage with it. While this wasn’t news to me (I am a coach and consultant, after all), I did need the reminder. Was there more I could do to generate a context that set conditions conducive to enabling my full recovery and well-being? As it turns out, yes.

Starting with my “realistically optimistic” stance. What kind of indifferent support was I giving myself? I could do much better. Not “wildly optimistic” (too over the top and inauthentic) but certainly “optimistic” or even “very optimistic”. A stand I could fully take for myself.

I also had great opinions from the three doctors comprising my medical team. Each one of them said, upon review of the data, that they believed my cancer was “treatable and curable”. Doctors don’t say those kinds of things. They have legal documents patients sign saying that no such statements or promises were made to that effect. I don’t take their statements as promises. But I do take them as a possibility of a better future.

From my personal/professional development, I recognize that I have had decades of practice of being curious, generating working hypotheses, holding a point of view gently and amenable to change, taking action, and seeing it through. I know how to reframe a situation into a more positive light. I take accountability for my actions and results. I understand and can apply the guiding principles, “ask for what you want”, “beware the law of unintended consequences” and “behold the power of self-fulfilling prophecy” (thank you, Joe Slatter). These are contributing factors to my potential.

So my conversation with Elix triggered me into action. I revoked my old declaration of “realistically optimistic”, replacing it with “very optimistic”. I am actively seeking ways of establishing an ever stronger and more coherent context; I am managing my mood, bringing the ‘weather’ conducive to producing positive outcomes. I continue to gather friends, family, and colleagues around me as my ‘tribe’ to offer good thoughts and prayers, and to provide any and all support while we are on this journey together. I shall keep them updated regularly. They deserve not to wonder what’s happening.

I think this is another wake-up call for me. The UPS guy made another house call, dropping off an unrequested package of learning and development. Just for me. I get to choose what to do about it - ?Accept it, graciously bring it in, acknowledge its power, and begin the next round of learning and growth.

Where can you set a powerful context for what you’re up to? Where can you tweak your inner game, align its aspects, and turbocharge your cares and commitments?

Since the journey continues, let’s share perspectives while on the road together. Your turn.

#selfleadership #designyourlife #innergame