Inner conflict in your career: How to win the war against yourself
It was a usual day at the world headquarters of Procter and Gamble. But that morning when Gurcharan Das -- then head of global strategy at the company -- was checking the market shares of the brands, he had an epiphany. All the brands, including Pampers, Tide detergent, Pantene shampoo, Gillette blades and Vicks VapoRub, were doing good but he suddenly found himself craving for a world outside his own.
“So I came home and I told my wife that I was very unhappy, and she said, ‘Oh, but you're just having a midlife crisis.’ But that midlife crisis didn't go away,” Gurcharan Das told me. Long story short, he discussed it with his family and eventually became a writer.
According to Mike Bundrant, the co-founder and lead trainer at iNLP Center, inner conflict is largely unavoidable. “And when your behavioral choices are determined by an inner conflict you do not understand, it can sabotage your entire life,” he says.
And we do not talk about it. As Das puts it, “We are very happy to talk about economic and politics, but we brush under the carpet subjects which come close to our emotions,” he says. And work conflicts affect us more emotionally than we let on.
Internal conflict is prevalent among professionals from across industries and career paths. From financial to family-related issues, there are multiple barriers that prevent them from taking the plunge and resolving the conflict. They may think, “How do I walk away from the security of a salaried job,” and if they are married, then they have to accommodate for their spouse or/and children’s needs too.
Leadership coach Laxmikant Halway told me recently that sometimes conflict arises from duality and delusion too. Sometimes it could also be that “one is not getting the tangible and intangible appreciation in their role. Another reason can be the conflict of comfort zone,” Laxmikant adds. To get out of the comfort zone, he says that one must always remember that one's learning curve of new skills is his actual earning curve.
While it may take time to come to terms with this issue, here are a few tips that can help you gain clarity:
- Define the conflict: The first step is to attain full awareness of the conflict. Define it. Write it down if necessary. Start with what triggered the conflict.
- Discuss with relevant parties: If your decision affects other parties, your team or family, discuss with them. Weigh the pros and cons.
- Set goals: After discussing, note down all possible solutions and set goals, write a timeline. The question, “Where do you see yourself in five or 10 years,” is not overrated.
- Don’t quit immediately: But career author Deborah Shane says you should not quit immediately. “Before you run from your current job, or decide to change or transition to another field, do the research and preparation necessary so you will be educated and qualified,” she says in this Forbes article. It’s aligned with what Laxmikant suggests: “You must consider the financial planning to sustain from ‘As is’ to ‘To be.’”
So when he decided that it was not just a midlife crisis, he sat down with his wife to plan the road ahead. “We did our sums, I showed her, ‘This is our savings, this is what our income would be from our savings, that if I didn't work, and also, how much would we have to spend from our, to live.’ And she was a good sport, so we came back to India, we settled down in Delhi, fortunately, we had a home. And I became a writer.”
What's your take on the topic? Join the conversation by sharing your thoughts in the comments section below.
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3 年Thank you ma’am, for sharing such an insightful article! I am a student and we are constantly advised to choose a career path which not only takes the best out of our abilities but also makes us content. “Do what you love and love what you do” as they say; and money will follow. Therefore, I believe it is very important to listen to your inner voice, which will guide you in making every decision in life, and the right one for that matter. Apart from that, while making decisions, we generally compare the best situation of present with the worst situation of future that might follow if we quit our well-paying jobs and step out of our comfort zone. We should not overlook the pros in that case and consider that no matter what age we are in and whatever we are doing, we can follow our heart and passion and can always start afresh. It is a major lesson to acknowledge and carry with oneself.
Social Media Manager | Ex- Stonks Studios
3 年Gurcharan Das’s story is the one that sure as hell inspires me Nirajita, because be it midlife crisis or any other stage in a person’s life, Conflict plays a major part. Not only in work environment but in relationships as well. And if these relationships, as very well portrayed in the above story do not work to support the person or join hands with them, the conflict definitely will take a toll on the person. Being a student, we also face such conflicts regarding the jobs that are offered to us and the ones we would like to work on. But as Garyvee suggests, don’t quit your shitty job just as now and use that money to fuel your side hustle. Work your ass off and make yourself proud and capable enough that you no longer need that job to pay your expenses. Well, the conflict maybe different for different people depending on what stage they are in their life. For me, I always feel myself at conflict with the person who wants to hustle for her dreams and chase her passion with the person who wants to be there every time her family needs her. There are days where you are kicking ass in each and every task you do and then there are days where you feel you have just failed your family, your values and most importantly yourself. The points that you have shared are incredible and definitely put things into perspective. Thank you so much for sharing.
Student at ICG Inst. of Edu. Research & Development, Jaipur
3 年Thank you for this insightful post and your mail nirajita. I became a journalist and a prevention of sexual harassment consultant after being a commercial litigating attorney for almost half a decade
Student at ICG Inst. of Edu. Research & Development, Jaipur
3 年Thankyou Ma'am for sharing the idea, I believe one should Be Conscious and Confront. Painful or not, you need to be aware of your inner conflict to understand yourself and later make decisions according to what you need versus what you think is right. Be conscious of your choices and make healthy. Inner conflict is no different. It's something that we create ourselves, It's an ongoing battle between our thoughts and emotions
Founder & Creative Director of Spiffy Amour
3 年Great Read Ms.Nirajita Banerjee. Inner conflicts in career is faced by most of the people today & one of the reasons for this can be the ample of opportunities life gives us in today’s world and secondly innumerable career options we have today. So this inner conflict is not an overnight dramatic shift. Its a whole process which starts intially by a person not feeling contented by the job , that particular sector or work doesn’t ignites that passion in you and you start the process of self discovery to find something that is in sync with your passion , interests , your inbuilt qualities and then we crave to do a job or work that doesn’t seem like “work” to us instead a work for which we fall in love with . This can happen anytime early or later in life at this point one should not feel lost or fell preg to anxiousness because it’s the turning point of life and what actually is required at this time is , trust in ourselves, the zeal to do the hardwork , a strong will and good research over it . If one has accomplished this then in my opinion “you become unstoppable” and can reach the pinnacle in your pursuit.